Filed by Steve Barrett
I was stuffing my cart with radishes, Brown Cows and Tender Vittles at Food Lion the other day when I ventured into the dish detergent region —; which is absolutely huge for reasons finite man cannot grasp.
Anyhow, armed with a 20-cent coupon, I was rummaging through the Joy department when something gave me pause. There, beside the elephantine jugs of Ultra Joy was a perky bottle of “Non Ultra” Joy.
In a universe that made sense, wouldn’t that be known as just “Joy”?
Now I’m on the lookout for non-extra-strength Tylenol (the medicine once known as “Tylenol”), non-powdered milk (aka “milk”) and non-diet Pepsi (called “Pepsi” in primitive cultures).
To reach Steve Barrett, call (423) 757-6329 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.