Filed by Steve Barrett
Has anybody else been paying attention to the convulsions racking the state of Massachusetts over a type of sandwich that children are served at public schools there?
A state senator wanted legislation restricting how often schools may serve so-called “Fluffernutter” sandwiches. A Fluffernutter, I gather from grim accounts by the news media, involves the union of two pieces of white bread by means of an adhesive of peanut butter and marshmallow cream. A disgustingly thorough description, complete with irritating jingles, can be found at www.marshmallowfluff.com/pages/fluffernutter.html.
Residents demanded that the senator be beheaded for such a suggestion. Well, OK, they really just told him to shut up and leave their kids’ sandwiches alone, but it amounted to the same thing. There was even a suggestion to make the Fluffernutter Massachusetts’ official sandwich. The sponsor of that idea told The New York Times she wanted to “go back to our lives pre-Fluffgate.”
Personally, I’d like to see the reviled senator presented a medal. Oh, not for being a busybody who insists that nanny-state government should dictate every morsel we put in our mouths, but simply from a child protection standpoint.
Marshmallow cream has to be among the most hideous, unnatural, sickening “foods” in the universe, right up there with Circus Peanuts and black licorice.
For fruitcake’s sake, can’t we all agree that schools shouldn’t be forcing that mess on kids?
E-mail Steve Barrett at email@example.com