Filed by Dotsie Bregel
Just say the word transition to a boomer woman and they will more than likely wonder which transition you are speaking about. It seems as though our lives are full of them.
Last fall, I transitioned from being Mom to three children at home during the summer, to an empty nester within one week.
This summer, I transitioned from being an empty nester, to having my 22- and 19 year-old children back home.
Last week brought another transition. For 10 years, one of our annual family vacations has been to go to Bethany Beach with a few other families and do nothing but spend time with all the kids and close friends. Days were spent on the beach playing any imaginable beach game we could muster up. We'd play catch in the ocean and on the beach, and from the beach to the ocean, and vice versa. It didn't matter if we were throwing a ball, Frisbee or any kind of shell -- as long as we could make a game of it. We'd skim board, ride rafts, and body surf -- all ages. Every night we'd grill and all 15-20 of us would eat dinner together and then hang out in rooms, decks, or on the beach. Many nights were ended with a rip roaring game of Joke-R-Rummy or some other goofy card game. We'd play poker with candy and eat our way through the night. We were always on the no carb left behind diet because everyone brought their favorite munchies to share. On years when we were totally organized, the week ended with a pyramid picture of all the kids with the ocean behind them. Life was grand.
Enter transition -- this year our youngest couldn't make it because he goes to college year-round in Florida. Two of the other young men graduated from college in May. They began their jobs the Monday of our vacation. Another family couldn't make it because their son made it to a national soccer tournament the week before and won, which meant they had to use a week's vacation to attend the tournament.
While we prepared, knowing it was going to be different, nothing can prepare you for these life changes than life itself. The weather was fantastic, the company was still great, but there was a huge void. Some of the kids were without their friends to hang out with for the week, and the parents were without that precious, carefree vacation time spent with our children. Of course there were many phone calls to let the kids know they were missed. I even bought the traditional tee shirt from the local surf shop and a box of taffy to send to my youngest this week. Along with them will be a Nerd Rope, a yearly junk food item purchased by the box for vacation. The package goes in the mail today.
Another mom bought a message in the bottle so all of us could sign and send it to our youngest so he knows how sorely he was missed.
Yeah, life is often bittersweet. We spend such a huge portion of our lives drawing near to these kids and loving the heck out of them, and then they gently begin their independent streak. While we are so proud of, and happy for them, our mothers' hearts weep when we see them drifting towards the life for which we so tenderly and carefully prepared them. Through it all, we must always give thanks that they are healthy and capable of being independent and following their dreams. Praise God that we can see the beauty in the separation, knowing He is their ultimate parent.
Are you experiencing a transition this summer? Want to tell us about it?
Dotsie Bregel is the founder of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women, www.nabbw.com, and Boomer Women Speak, www.boomerwomenspeak.com, a key site on all search engines for "baby boomer women." She has been mentioned in Time magazine, the Los Angeles Times and AARP Bulletin among dozens of newspapers across the nation. She is on the editorial board of me* magazine and writes book reviews for boomer magazine. She frequently does radio interviews and has appeared on The Early Show (CBS) with Dave Price.
She can be contacted at dots@boomerwomenspeak.com or 1-877-bboomer.
