Watching Michael Phelps makes me feel like a 10-year-old kid again — in other words, a member of China’s women’s gymnastics team — the way I watch in complete awe of this man.

We’re not so different. He listens to his iPod right before he leaps into the water, which is totally what I would do if I were in better shape, felt like training and could pass a drug test (kidding, editors!). And he loves to eat, a training method I can fully support.

His breakfast, which he detailed to reporters in Beijing: three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese and mayonnaise, a five-egg omelette, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast with sugar, three chocolate-chip pancakes, two cups of coffee and a case of Bud Light. (OK, I made that last one up.)

And that’s just breakfast. Competitive swimmer or competitive eater? Let’s get Phelps to Chattanooga for the Krystal World Hamburger Eating championship next month, watch him win that, and then see if he can still set the world record in the 200 butterfly, burger still in mouth.

Phelps is so good we expect him to break a world record in every event — and he does. His competitors, the absolute best swimmers in the world, are posting personal-best times and still losing by two or three seconds. No one has ever won more gold medals.

So we have to wonder, are we watching the greatest Olympian ever?

Obviously, comparing a swimmer to a track star or an athlete from 80 years ago is impractical. The Phelps vs. Carl Lewis argument is sparking a growing debate between swimmers and runners : Which sport is more difficult on the body? That’s a tough one. I’m just a simple guy still tied with Canada in the medal count, but both make me tired after about two minutes.

But I will say: Yes, Phelps is the greatest, based on sheer dominance and not longevity (give him time, he’s only 23).

Let’s look at Lewis: nine gold medals and four straight in the long jump from 1984 to 1992. He won two golds in the 100-meter dash, one in the 200 and two in sprint relays.

Finland runner Paavo Nurmi won nine golds in distances from 1,500 to 10,000 meters, which is simply astonishing, from 1920 to 1928. He then hopped in the pool and competed with Dara Torres.

There are others. Ukrainian gymnast Larisa Latynina won 18 total medals. Sir Steven Redgrave, from Great Britain, won rowing gold medals in five straight Olympics competing in three different boat classifications. Eric Heiden and Bjorn Daehlie are legends in the Winter Olympics.

The anti-Phelps crowd says that three of swimming’s four strokes — breaststroke being the exception — aren’t all that different. They say track stars and other athletes could never compete twice in a half-hour like Phelps because their bodies endure more stress than swimmers. They say swimmers can compete in more events. And breaking records is easier because of the new suits.

My response: And all that makes Phelps any less great? Forget the number of events, the number of medals, and just watch.

He doesn’t just win every competition. Phelps looks like he’s teaching a swimming class, except the students are world-class athletes. Some of them are even more rested. And the new suits? They’re all wearing them. Doesn’t seem to matter. You could strap his competitors to an outboard motor, and they’re still getting to the wall when Phelps is taking off his goggles. He’s making a mockery of every event.

We’ve never seen a man dominate a sport like we’re seeing in this Olympics. Maybe he needs to dominate another Olympics, but are you betting against him in the 2012 Games in London?

Let’s just hope this is real. I don’t think America can handle another doping scandal involving one of its heroes. I think he’s legit. And I like the idea of someone doing it on fried-egg sandwiches and chocolate-chip pancakes.

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