Epps: A top 20 for college football anticipation

It’s time.

Get out the TV schedule, fire up the grill, change your remote control’s batteries and charge the cell phone. It’s going to be an exhilarating, exhausting, infuriating, nerve-racking, memorable next four months. And that’s why we watch. For the second straight year, I give you 20 reasons why I’m thrilled college football is here:

20. Seeing Alabama wide receiver Julio Jones make catches in person and not on YouTube. Even Clemson’s Tommy Bowden admitted he’s watched YouTube videos featuring Jones, and Alabama fans went nuts when a scrimmage video was mistakenly posted. Also: Jones vs. Eric Berry, Oct. 25.

19. The first report stating that Bobby Petrino is talking to another school, whether it’s accurate or not.

18. Knowshon Moreno: dancing machine.

17. Raycom in HD. Now we can more clearly see that the Nexium first-down line is, indeed, 4 yards off.

16. The ensuing celebration after Florida scores its first touchdown against Georgia in Jacksonville.

15. When Steve Spurrier announces he’s taking over as offensive coordinator.

14. Every comment made by Florida running back Chris Rainey. So far, he basically admitted he accepted money and food from strangers in high school (later said he was joking), delivered gems like “I’m glad I’m Chris Rainey” and “I’m a white girl man,” and complained about his sex education class at Florida. He has not played a down yet.

13. Tracking Vanderbilt’s D.J. Moore. He intercepts passes. He catches passes. He returns kicks. How many snaps will he play a game?

12. Tennessee’s G-Gun formation. Makes you stop what you’re doing, doesn’t it?

11. Alabama’s Terrence Cody: 400-pound defensive tackle. Think he’ll play in goal-line situations?

10. The pregame conversation between Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville and his former assistant, Petrino. Talk about awkward. “Sooo ... beautiful day, huh?” “Yeah.” “Yep.” “OK.” “Good luck.”

9. Houston Nutt’s trip to Arkansas. Razorbacks fans hated him even when Arkansas was winning. Imagine the vitriol when he returns coaching a division rival. Perhaps Nutt can coach via videoconference.

8. Nick Saban’s trip to LSU. Alert the national guard.

7. When Vanderbilt kicks a field goal on its first drive and one of the Daves says, “Uh-oh, looks like we have an upset brewing in Nashville,” and then Vanderbilt loses 45-3.

6. The next completely insane move made by LSU coach Les Miles. Although this might have already happened when Miles hung out with Snoop Dogg at a Baton Rouge Rotary Club meeting. Read that last sentence again. I didn’t make it up.

5. When Saban blows up at a reporter not named Darren Epps. Doubly funny when he unloads on former Times Free Press writer and good friend Gentry Estes.

4. Every Sylvester Croom news conference. The man’s voice causes tremors in Pac-10 country.

3. LSU’s defensive line. Good grief. The beatings they’ll put on opposing quarterbacks might be illegal in some states.

2. Every time Phillip Fulmer says, “Fight like heck.”

1. All the phone calls and text messages — on the good days and the bad — exchanged by friends across the country on Saturdays. Very few sports brings old friends together like college football.

Enjoy.