DEAR ABBY: Must we shake hands at church?
DEAR ABBY: I take exception to your reply to “Minister’s Daughter, Cayucos, Calif.” who objected to the greeting and handshaking moment during church service that is dictated by the minister.
I happen to agree wholeheartedly with “Daughter’s” sentiments, as do many other members of my church. We feel that the moment is manipulated, interrupts the flow of the service and creates a false bonhomie.
None of us is unfriendly, ungracious or reluctant to make others feel welcome in our church. But we would prefer to do it spontaneously — before or after the service — when we actually feel moved to make the gesture. — LYN IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA.
DEAR LYN: I understand your sentiments. That said, I stand by my answer. I told “Minister’s Daughter” that I didn’t think it was too much to ask to reach out for a moment to ensure that everyone felt included. However, I received a ton of mail on this subject and opinions were decidedly mixed.
I'm also a 'former' pastor's daughter. I hate the SHAKE HANDS thing. It does interupt the flow of the service and talk about GERMS!! LOL!!! Either carry an anti-bacterial in your purse, or run for the ladies room when the hand shaking starts. (I notice our pastor disappers towards the men's room during that time every single time!!!???) It's hard for pastors to go against the long standing habits of the church without causing problems! They are not sincere hand shakes anyway, just token greetings, and our church is 'uproared' for like 5 minutes doing its handshaking thing. I think the santuary should be used for worship, and fellowship of each other should be before and after church, perferably out of the santuary area. Common sense alone tells you this is not the way to make a person feel honestly special. duh!
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