Audio clip
Randy Thomas
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Staff Photo by D. Patrick Harding
Chris Delaney, head of Joseph's Coat Ministries, helps council people with same-sex attractions who want to change. Delaney, who was once gay, decided to change after years of being unhappy with his life.
After 12 years of boyfriends and gay bars, Chris Delaney decided he was miserable as a homosexual and ready to change.
“I realized I didn’t even like that behavior. I more so needed male affirmation,” said the 38-year-old resident of Ringgold, Ga. “So I decided I was willing to give faith another chance. I told God, ‘I’ve run my life for 12 years, and it’s been a mess. I’m going to hand it back over to you.’ ”
Fifteen years later, Mr. Delaney now proudly labels himself an “ex-gay,” having undergone what he describes as a lengthy spiritual transformation in which he was sexually reoriented. Since 1996, he has ministered to hundreds of others through the nonprofit evangelical organization Joseph’s Coat Ministries.
Mr. Delaney, who said he has found true happiness in ministry, six years of marriage and two children, is part of a contested movement in the United States: sexual conversion, or “reparative” therapy.
Conservative Judeo-Christian religious groups applaud the strategy for its adherence to traditional religious beliefs in a “sexually broken world” that has become too accepting of what they say is sin disguised as diversity.
Members of the gay community and the traditional psychotherapy profession criticize such efforts, arguing they target vulnerable individuals and force them to deny natural tendencies in the name of religious dogma.
But the “reparative” movement is catching on locally. Harvest USA, a Pennsylvania-based ministry whose Web site states the group aims “to transform the lives of those affected by sexual sin,” opened its Mid-South Regional office in Chattanooga in 2001.
And Exodus International — whose 230 member agencies in the United States and Canada make it the largest Christian organization in the country focused on conversion therapy — held a training session in Chattanooga in November for 28 ministry leaders from Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina and Alabama.
“Because of the current cultural climate and political climate surrounding this issue, I think there’s more attention coming around it,” said Exodus Church Network Director Jeff Buchanan of Nashville, who conducted the seminar. “It may be more of an awareness, in conjunction with the issues we’re facing as a nation.”
LONG-STANDING debate
The concept of conversion therapy, couched within decades-old debates about science versus God and nature versus nurture, isn’t new; experts say it has been around since at least the 1970s.
The American Psychological Association in 1973 removed homosexuality from its list of treatable disorders. The APA, American Psychiatric Association and the National Association of Social Workers have ethics policies discouraging the use of conversion therapy on the grounds that it is has not been proven effective and might cause more harm than good.
“It doesn’t make sense on any level,” said Richard L. Pimental-Habib, an openly gay, Chattanooga-based clinical therapist. “The ultimate result is that it doesn’t work. It flies in the face of how a person is born and who they are to the core.”
Mr. Delaney said he doesn’t have specific data to track his clients’ outcomes, but acknowledged some people don’t respond to the therapy and return to the gay lifestyle.
In 2007, the American Psychological Association put together a task force to evaluate its position on reparative therapy in light of new research. Results are expected to be released within the next few months, said Clinton Anderson, director of the organization’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Concerns Office.
The question of whether someone can choose to be gay is at the heart of all gay-rights issues, Mr. Delaney explained. By saying that a homosexual is genetically born with gay tendencies in the same way a black person is born with dark skin, gay rights advocates are trying to bolster their arguments for equal treatment of gays, he said.
“What I do flies in the face of their agenda,” said Mr. Delaney, who noted that he periodically is the target of hate messages on his Web site and threatening voice mails.
But Mr. Delaney and Mr. Buchanan say they aren’t going to let resistance interfere with their work. Mr. Buchanan said he believes the ex-gay movement will not only continue but will expand.
“I work with a network of about 115 churches. It’s continuing to grow, and I have reason to think it will multiply into the thousands,” he said.
“A broken, fallen world”
Professional therapists argue reparative therapy lacks proven benefits and may harm patients by increasing unnecessary self-hatred and guilt.
These therapists point to studies showing that genetics play a significant role in sexual development and say that, based on such evidence, there is no way to sidestep the conclusion that people are born as homosexuals.
“Of course we know there is a genetic component to homosexuality now,” said David Kaplan, chief professional officer of the American Counseling Association.
“We do not know of any situation where a homosexual has been converted to heterosexuality,” Dr. Kaplan continued. “What you can do is you can change behaviors. You can force somebody to stop eating, but they’re not going to stop getting hungry.”
Those who support conversion therapy counter that these scientists’ evidence is biased and flawed. But even if it weren’t, they say, whether someone is born gay is irrelevant to whether that person should act on it.
“Some people are born with a genetic disposition to become alcoholics,” Mr. Delaney said. “Does that give them permission to live that way?”
Dan Wilson, director of Chattanooga’s Harvest USA, said God states through the Bible that homosexuality and other types of sexual sin are wrong and that people need to struggle against committing that sin.
“We inherited a broken, fallen world, and we inherited a propensity to sin,” he said. “We need to be aiming life toward repentance and change.”
The issue goes beyond Christian doctrine and into morality in general, said New Jersey-based Arthur Goldberg, executive secretary of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality and co-founder/co-director of Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality.
“We have this whole political-correctness philosophy now, in terms not only of language but just the way we function,” Mr. Goldberg said. “Part of it is a breakdown of church and family, and part of it is a breakdown of overall morality in the communities. There’s this greater philosophy of whatever feels good is good.”
Association therapists use secular science to support their view that anyone who wants to choose to live a moral lifestyle should have the right to seek treatment to change, Mr. Goldberg said.
“HERE TO HELP”
Harvest, Exodus and Joseph’s Coat advocate for the rights of those who want to change, yet officials with each group note that the organizations are not out to judge or condemn those who embrace the gay lifestyle.
“We’re not in the business of forcing somebody to change, but if they do come to us, we are here to help those who desire change to accomplish their goal,” said Mr. Delaney, who does not charge for services and depends on donations to provide therapy, support groups and seminars through Joseph’s Coat.
Still, Dr. Anderson of the American Psychological Association contends conversion therapy is rooted in subtle criticism.
People who decide to turn to such therapies “are often people who are involved in social groups that have a high level of negativity toward homosexuality,” Dr. Anderson said. “They are seeking such therapies not necessarily because they’re going to benefit from them, but because they are trying desperately to fit into communities they seek to fit in.”
Randy Thomas, executive vice president of Exodus North America, said he resents that attitude.
“The media and gay activists want to make it all about some sort of fight between us and them, and that’s just not true,” said Mr. Thomas, who says he has not identified himself as a gay person in 16 years. “Yes, we do have moral disagreements, but we don’t exist to oppose the gay community.”
To Mr. Delaney, homosexuality is a complicated mix that includes many environmental factors, and he trusts that God offers guidance for true change.
As for himself, he believed “something better” was possible.
“I trust Him that those issues will never control me again,” Mr. Delaney said. “Once you mature in the Lord, I’ve seen that your feelings can change.”
When will the christobots notice that whenever they take a stand against science they lose? So sad.
I would like to comment on the above statement. Science has NOT proven anything. This is typical of the "pro-gay" agenda. They put out a lot of information that is not supported by science nor faith.
This article simple confirms what many of us have known for a long time: You can get ANYONE to do ANYTHING if you succeed in threatening them with the Fires of Hell.
If Chris Delaney is genuinely at peace with himself, I'm not going to second-guess him. But if thinks it isn't possible for someone to be a happy, well-adjusted Gay Christian, he's just wrong.
The 2nd paragraph says it all: "I realized I didn’t even like that behavior." Homosexuals always LIKED that behavior for themselves. Bisexuals like it sometimes and at other times they don't. Heterosexuals never liked that behavior for themselves.
This guy seems to be a bisexual who thinks his behavior - not his thoughts - made him unhappy. His narrative falls apart if looked at:
He says he was GAY, but DISLIKED sex with men.
He says one act - sex - somehow caused ALL the misery in his life placing himself in the psychologically pleasing role of "victim".
Truths:
No real gay person is a victim of their sexuality - they like it.
No real hetero person is a victim of their sexuality - they like it.
No real gay person can become hetero.
No real hetero person can become gay.
Bisexuals can DECIDE to go either way.
Delaney is a whiny bisexual fraud who enjoys a payoff for being a victim of his so-called gayness. His 'I didn't make my life bad, it was sex, which makes me a victim who triumphed over my victimizer' drama seems to require constant validation from others. He seems to have set up his life to do only one thing: reinforce his dramatic personal narrative.
Real heterosexuals can't turn themselves into real gays and real gays can't turn themselves into real heterosexuals. While it hasn't been 100% proven, scientific indicators point toward sexuality and gender identity being hardwired into our physiology. (BTW the theory of gravity isn't 100% proven.)
Also, I hope people can spot the irrational 'a baseball is round, so is an apple; therefore I can eat a baseball' logic: “Some people are born with a genetic disposition to become alcoholics,” Mr. Delaney said. “Does that give them permission to live that way?” He is literally saying that being gay has a genetic disposition and so does the bad thing called alcoholism; therefore being gay is bad.
People like him seem to use a lot of logical fallacies, fear and shame. "Therapies" that are built upon these things are inherently harmful to people. Telling people that their suffering comes from their sexuality and not their perspectives/narratives/dramas is distilled BS.
thanks for the story. it's always encouraging to hear of individuals who are willing to make tough decisions contrary to cultural dogma. chris, thanks for your courage! God Bless!
This illustrates more clearly than anything else how this "ex-gay" thing works. Instead of dealing with actual evidence and actual data that contradicts your position, you can just dismiss it all as "political-correctness" or "a breakdown of church and family," and blame it on an agenda.
After all, it ignores the fact that gay people can and do lead full, productive, loving lives. It ignores the potential damage done to individuals by this "reparative" therapy (which the article only briefly touches on).
Finally, it assumes that homosexuality is always bad, without exception, when, to paraphrase the minister Frederick Buechner, that makes about as much sense as saying that heterosexuality is always good.
It shouldn't be about whether it's okay to be gay or not. It should be about how much your relationships, gay or straight, depend on equal and mutual love, trust, friendship, joy, and selflessness, and not just whether it "feels good."
I believe the statement that conversion therapy can harm more than it can help is largely inaccurate based on other studies and my personal experience. It can be more harmful to remain in the homosexual lifestyle based on certain health-related statistics and therefore unethical to not offer conversion therapy to those who are motivated to change for their own personal reasons.
I also agree with the following information:
“If it has been demonstrated that to offer clients healing through reparative therapy is harmful to them, then the authors would be correct in saying that the ethical standards of competence, integrity, respect for people's rights and dignity, and social responsibility have been violated. However, reparative therapy as it is currently practiced today, has not been demonstrated to harm clients.
There is an abundance of clinical data that suggests reparative therapy can help clients achieve more responsiveness to the opposite sex. There is also empirical data, albeit flawed, in that direction.
To not provide clients with what they request when the request is a reasonable one is irresponsible and unethical. It is also our social responsibility to let people know that the development of homosexuality as we know it today has not been proven to be a genetic inevitability, and that alternatives to embracing the homosexual lifestyle do exist.” http://www.narth.com/docs/unethical.html
“We conclude that, contrary to conventional wisdom, some highly motivated individuals, using a variety of change efforts, can make substantial change in multiple indicators of sexual orientation and achieve good heterosexual functioning. Subjects that made less substantial changes still believed that such changes were extremely beneficial.” New Study on Sexual Orientation Therapies by Robert L. Spitzer, M.D. is Professor of Psychiatry and Chief of Biometrics Research Department at the New York State Psychiatric Institute in New York City, USA May 9, 2001
"There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles..." March 6, 2008 American Psychological Association (APA) http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html#whatcauses
I'd just like to point out that being gay isn't all about sex anymore than being straight is all about sex. Being gay is just like being straight, only the person that you fall in love with, buy a house with, have a family with,(yes, it's possible) and grow old with happens to be of the same sex. The reason that I mention this is because of a statement where Chris Delaney said that reparative therapy should be recommended to gay people because of the health related statistics associated with being in the gay lifestyle. There are no negative health statistics that have anything to do with the gay lifestyle. It is the PROMISCUOUS lifestyle that can cause health problems and there are promiscuous people in both the gay and straight communities. Promiscuity causes health problems, not being gay.
Pardon me but this whole field of "reparative therapy" is a load of hogwash. Why don't you check around and find out what men's room Delaney is trolling while "happily" married. Denial, Delusion and Self-deception are part and parcel of this religious bogeyman. Lots of straight people are unhappy too. Shall we try and convert them to homosexuality and see if they feel better? I guess you wouldn't say that was possible. Neither is the reverse. Delaney may live a straight public live but his inner life and his sneaking around life are still Gay and will always be Gay. Let me know if he's still married in a couple years. Chances are his wife will catch him fooling around with guys by then.
How many more lives are to be ruined before people face the undisputed and scientific fact that sexual orientation is inborn? Religion may have a place in our society (it still eludes me though), but as soon as it enters the picture, all reasoning and tolerance are gone.
It's not my quote, but it's a good one: "Being gay is not a choice- being ignorant is."
Mr. Delaney is a genuine Christian who leads his life according to the Word of God and who had the courage to admit that living in sin can never bring true self-fulfilment, peace with God, and a healthy emotional, physisical, and spiritual balance. I am sure there are many gay people who love God and think of themselves as being good Christians, but the pro-gay theology is not Bible-based. We cannot sugarcoat the truth spoken by God to delude people into thinking that living a life of sin (ANY SIN - whether it be heterosexual adultery or promiscuity or homosexuality or stealing, or lying, etc.) and having fellowship with a HOLY God can happen at the same time. God's message about homosexuality is clear in the Bible, and the purpose of our lives on this earth is HOLINESS.
ANY PERSON that chooses to accept Christ's sacrifice on the cross as the passport to salvation will desire holiness and will strive to be like Christ regardless of the type of sin that person lives in. It is only natural for anyone approaching God to want to live a holy life, and this is true of Mr. Delaney.
On the other hand, we live in a democratic society in which people lobby for the rights of any group. Why is there so much opposition against ex-gays? Why are their statements met with so much hatred from gays in the first place? Such reaction can only come from people who "do not know the Scriptures nor the power of God," as Jesus said; people who doubt that God is the author of science can only doubt that God can actually radically change the mindset and behavior of someone who decides to live with and for Christ. People who do not have spiritual eyes cannot fathom the power of God to heal and restore.
I see here a man who does not force anyone into anything, but many of these comments are a direct attack to Mr. Delaney's beliefs and personal life. That is not democratic or ethical, and that is not done in the spirit of political correctness or fairness.
I am working with people who choose to step out of homosexuality and with the families and friends of gays and ex-gays. I know their pain; I know their struggles. I know walking in faith and striving for holiness are not easy, and this is why many people prefer not to ever question the theory that they were born gay. It's easier that way short-term, but it never leads to genuine happiness or safety. I can only testify that God is the only best way to heal their wounds, to restore peace and wholeness to their minds and bodies.
I can only commend people like Chris Delaney for their courage and dedication. He needs our prayers and encouragement. His work is blessed by God, and if God is on our side, who can be against us?
Mr. Delaney, may God continue the powerful work He is doing through you, and may your spirit be ever strengthened by God's promises and by His visible intervention in the lives of those to whom you minister!
A fellow-servant of Christ
To "Standingfourtruth" - Although your response may be genuine, your allegiance to misinterpreted Old Testament scripture is only exceeded by your misunderstanding of what it is truly like to be at odds with your God-given sexuality.
Mr.Delaney's courage and dedication is in simply convincing himself he is something he is not. That is the real pain you profess to know.
You speak of gays' hatred towards so-called "ex-gays." I suggest that YOU are the one who sees hatred when someone contradicts your beliefs. It's amazing to me how Christians like yourself can even use the contradictory term "God hates." Watch out when someone says, "God is on our side." What usually follows is innocent people suffering.
As a gay Christian, who loves the Lord and who believes God in his infinite wisdom made me the way I am, I must say this article offended me. Do you realize how many suicides result from so-called "gay-reparative therapy"? I'm not so closed minded as to think there aren't people out there who are heterosexual, who somehow got caught up in homosexual acts, they are the ones who can be helped. But, it has been proven time and time again that if a person is truly homosexual no amount of prayer, faith or therapy can change the way God made them.
This article did NOT belong on the front page of the paper! At least it belongs in the Religion and/or Lifestyle section. It just proves that Chattanooga is a true-blue "Bible Belt" city, where some Christians tend to pervert the Gospel of Christ into a theology of hate and intolerance.
I just hope Mr. Delany can hang on to his "conversion"...I would hate to see him online looking for men to have sex with after his kids are grown and he's grown tired of his wife!
"Practicing homosexual Christian" is a contradiction in terms.
Homosexuals and their empowering headshrinkers in the APA will NEVER accept that homosexuality can and is being cured. To accept that FACT would be to accept that what homosexuals do in the bedroom is NOT inherited but is their choice and that their sexual appetites are also neither inborn nor normal in our society.
Homosexual group-leaders continue in their desperate attempts to compare themselves and their "struggles" [read demands] for social acceptance with the race-based civil rights fight for the specifically-recognized Constitutional right to racial equality in all things. Just as if their CHOICE of a same-sex partner is the equivalent of the non-choice of genetically-passed skin color. They compare apples and bears [sic].
What a pathetic article. The most damaged gay men I have known have been destroyed by religious folks convincing them they were sinners and could be "prayed-straight." No reputable medical professions believe in the garbage of reparative therapy. Sexual orientation is something you are born with- there are plenty of scientific studies that have proved this, and anthropological studies have indicated that homosexuality worldwide.
I'm sure Mr. Delaney thinks he is straight. Well good for him and the nice paycheck it gets him.
Still, I wonder how many readers of this newspaper would want their daughter to marry an "ex-gay."
Chris is quit correct. What I hear in many of the comments is the pap of the pro-gay mantra that "science supports gay" (a falsehood), and "He is really Bi" (another falsehood).
Human sexuality is fluid and not fixed. The gay crowd has NOT found the fabled "gay gene", which is confirmed by the now completed Human Genome Project.
Human sexuality is awash with complexities and is poorly understood. Broken primary relationships in our narcissistic world are more true-to-cause, and this is an unbearable notion for those who demand gay-rights-first.
Chris' ministry, and many like them around the world, are worth a look - especially for those who are "questioning" their heterosexuality and being sold a sack of lies that the should explore gayness as some kind of birthrite.
Here are some links that support what this courageous man has to say:
www.zacchaeus.ca . . . . . . . . . Anglican www.redeemedlives.org . . . . . Episcopal www.pfox.org . . . . . . . . . . . . . families/friends www.jonahweb.org. . . . . . . . . Jewish www.peoplecanchange.com . . gen. info. www.pathinfo.org . . . . . . . . . . gen. info. www.narth.com . . . . . . . . . . . . science/research/law www.comingoutstraight.org . . gen. info. www.oneby1.org . . . . . . . . . . . Presbyterian (excellent links page) www.couragerc.net . . . . . . . . . RC www.exodusglobalalliance.org . parachurch counsel www.newdirection.ca . . . . . . . . parachurch counsel www.regenbooks.com . . . . . . . . resource link www.exodusbooks.org . . . . . . . .resource link http://tinyurl.com/7f2na . . . . . . . medical issues & gay sex www.becomingreal.org . . . . . . . Christian youth www.freetobeme.com . . . . . . . . faith neutral youth site www.stonewallrevisited.com . . .includes over 80 testimonies www.dawnstefanowicz.com . . . effects of same-sex parenting
Yo rolando,
My wife married an "ex-gay" man some 14 years ago, and two daughters later. Her parents were aware. Time to re-think your world-view.
As a lesbian with a wife and two kids, I do not hate ex-gays! I pity those who are lying to themselves. But I cannot look into their hearts and tell what is truth for them. I DO know that if they are finally happy who am I to deny them that?
I gave up caring whether I "chose" my orientation in childhood or not. Homosexuality has exists in nature.
The argument boils down to religion, as usual, and whether you believe in dogma. I do not know if there is a god but I can tell you the worst thing that came from my being gay, the worst that was done to me was at the hands of my Christian family.
At the heart of this discussion are two factions fearing that the acceptance of one side or the other will bolster the damage done. Christians who do not turn the other cheek to it, fear their children will be corrupted. Homosexuals who protest the ex-gay movement fear the suicides that come from denying a central characteristic.
But to both, you've got to say, what will be, will be. Only the strong survive in this world. Let your friends and family chose their own path. All you have to do is love them.
Peace
Sorry rolando. I was responding to homerth.
I'm gay. Let's get that off the bat now. However, I've been on Delaney's side of the ex-gay movement too. I came out of the closet in January 2006. In September 2008, some circumstances that I'll explain later had religion telling me I couldn't be gay, so I "went straight." All it did was brought more unhappiness with myself. I understand the importance of religion to some people, as in their need for a religion. However, to assume homosexuals don't have religion is ludicrous and completely absurd. It was the feelings of inadequacy towards a religion that led me to potential suicide. God made me who I am. I don't have to answer to any man. He loves me EXACTLY as I am. If it weren't true, then how could we trust a simple principle of "Jesus Loves Me." It's not "for God so loved those who the church deems worthy." It's "for God so loved the world." PERIOD. Those websites listed above...I looked at them. However, I've yet to read anything that I haven't heard, one side or another. Just a lot of contradictory comments and statements with one another. My attraction to men may stem from nurturing or it may stem from the fact I've known I liked boys since I was 5. Who knows. Whatever the cause, I'm happy. Being gay and being unhappy doesn't coexist. In the minds of some religious people it does. I've been there, too. Anyone that I felt was different from me, I knew they had to be unhappy because they were living in such a sin. When I finally came out of the closet, I realized that I was actually happier. I wasn't holding anything back. As I mentioned above, religion started roaring it's ugly head into my life again. I knew that I needed to be straight in order for God to love me. When in all actuality, it was the fact I was so distant from friends that I took drastic measures. People that hadn't spoken to me in years gushed over my "overcoming of sin." When I was living as a gay man, where were they? Is their friendship so closed that I have to fit their standards? If that's the case, then I don't need their friendship. One of the websites listed above had "scientific" proof that gay sex is harmful to the body. They didn't exactly mention that condoms help prevent some of those diseases. Then, I noticed it was a catholic website. (I have nothing against Catholics...just their policy regarding condoms) Do people really assume only gay men have anal sex? Sex is a good segue way. I've only had sex with one person. I don't need sex to survive. I think a very common misconception of homosexuals is that we go out every night and party and have all kinds of promiscuous sex. I'll be the first to tell you that it's just not the case. Sure, some do. The same way a lot of straight folks do the same. If Delaney is happy, great. I would be curious to know whether or not the temptations and lusts towards men are completely gone. I know when I was "straight" they were stronger than ever. I'm not calling him a liar. It's purely out of curiosity. Interesting article.
Thank you, joietothemax. You make some powerfully poignant comments.
Debate and controversy exist because people do try to communicate important experiences with others. But is this 'truth'? Subjective truth, maybe. It is a part of human nature that we seek to justify our own positions. I look for truth in my faith and in my conscience - important markers for anyone.
General information for everyone out there (gay or straight): Latex condom's contain natural pores 10 microns in diameter. The AIDS virus can pass through a 1 micron opening. That is precisely why "safe-sex" became known as "safer-sex" by our social engineers. "Double-bagging" and the use of spermicidal agents during sex became popularized, while reducing sexual sensation, as well. (And why "sexually transmitted diseases" became "STInfections" - pass the antibiotics, and all will be well... NOT!
While I have to respect Chris’s choices in life history tells us there is no longevity as an ‘ex-gay’. I claimed the same for 22 years which included 16 years of marriage and two children. As high profile preacher for much of that time there was enormous pressure to conform and maintain the façade. Eventually though I had to be totally honest with myself and others. I was actually still gay at the very core of my being. Here are some questions for Chris and other éx-gay’ leaders. http://exgayaustralianewzealand.wordpress.com/5/ 20 Questions for “Ex-gay” Ministry Leaders
I'll tell you a little about myself. I am not bragging nor lying. It is very possible for GOD to change your sexual orientation. I am not going to tell you what you need to do other than read what delaney says. It doesn't happen overnight but it can happen in spurts. I am in the process of being less and less gay over time. I can get excited by women now and occasionally even more than that. All you who call christians lunatics are wrong and will sadly regret it. Christ came for all of us and we can do no better than to at least respect him.
I'll answer the post by avennbrown as well. I was totally gay not even a shade of excitement in the opposite sex. Now I'm bisexual and I have faith I will be totally straight in the coming years. So, i'm not an ex gay yet. But I know! I really know! it is possible to change.
Nicely crafted puff piece for a "movement" that is motivated by fear and ignorance and has caused terrible damage to both gay citizens and their families. So the Chattanooga Times/Free Press will soon start running positive, gushing coverage of gay teen suicides connected with this destructive movement, right?
It's also a fact that discriminating against gays on the basis of the belief that their orientation is a "choice" is a very tricky proposition. Religion is a choice as well; and with that logic all special legal protections for religious groups should be eliminated.
One set of vital voices missing from this article are the voices of the ex-gay survivors, the vast majority of people who once were ex-gay and are no longer. These are people who spent time, money, energy attempting to go ex-gay to find it did not work, but more importantly that it caused much more harm than good.
In the past few years these survivors has been speaking out, not primarily to bash ex-gay ministries, rather to speak out as public witnesses and warnings about the potential harm of attempting to change and suppress one's sexuality.
I believe people should have informed consent. What we don't hear in the glowing testimonies of those who are currently ex-gay is what happens to the many people who have been through these programs only to find themselves nearly bankrupt emotionally, spiritually and psychologically years later.
Not only are the people who attempted to go ex-gay harmed, but the spouses they married and the parents who too often become scapegoats.
-To read about the various types of ex-gay harm, visit http://beyondexgay.com/article/harm1 -To see how ex-gay treatment negatively affected my parents http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21xfgh... -To read narratives of ex-gay survivors, view art work, video, and more visit www.beyondexgay.com>
In this video I explain the reasons I attempted to go ex-gay. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMPnxq...
I spent 17 years as ex-gay. I wanted it to work. I believed it would and also publicly gave my testimony. The reality I discovered for me is that change in orientation or an ex-gay life is not possible, necessary or healthy.
Instead I have found health, wholeness, peace and clarity in being honest about my sexuality and accepting it for what it is in spite of the opposition I felt in the world. Now I experience the fruit of the Spirit in a way I never dreamed possible.
The innate controversy with this topic notwithstanding, the anti-reparative therapy comments posted to this article seem to me to be defensive, emotional, and ill-informed as to much of the current research. Also, the pro-reparative crowd is naive to think that any and all gay men can or want to be "converted". Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, in his extensive work with gays, clearly describes certain parameters that preclude reparative therapy's effectiveness. There is no valid research that I have found that supports a genetic determinant for homosexuality, merely a possible predisposition. Like all behaviors, gay behavior likely has a "learned" component. But the real isse is that we haven't subjected reparative therapy to the rigorous research treatments that we afford other theoretical approaches.Organizations such as the APA who pander to political correctness extremists cannot always be counted on to render objective scientific guidance. Good solid research is needed from academia and practitioners, regardless of the implications of the results, and counselors need to respond accordingly.
The thing that concerns me is the way that most homosexuals vehemently deny that people can change. With only a few exceptions the pro gay post on this blog deny the possibility of change. They are so desperate to cling to their belief that they were "born that way," that they attack anyone who has chosen to attempt a change. And after attacking their own for trying to change, many will gleefully celebrate the failure of people who found that they were not able to overcome their homosexuality. If these people were so happy with their orientation and their lifestyle, why don't they just say, "Good riddance, we don't need them anyway," when ever someone seeks to leave their ranks? Instead, they turn on the poor individual and tear them to shreds like a bunch of ravenous wolves. Imagine if an alcoholic or drug addict sought to change and all of his or her former peers turned on them the same way. I wonder how many of them would ever be successful in escaping their old bonds either. No, when they fail, we try to help them get back up and try again. But the gay community tries to convince them that they are betraying what they are. It's no wonder that there are so many people who fail and commit suicide. And another thing, the gay community, as a rule want to deny the existence of those who have been delivered from this lifestyle. Why are they so afraid to admit that Ex-Gay people really do exist. Username "avennbrown" ask the question, "1. Do you know of anyone who was completely gay (not a bisexual) who has become completely heterosexual?" Yes, as a matter of fact I know several. Not that it matters because I have had homosexuals argue with me that my Ex-Gay friends were actually bisexual and at first they were just practicing homosexually and now they were now practicing heterosexually. Or they would actually argue that they were straight all along and were just living the gay lifestyle. WHAT A CROCK!!! Why can't we just agree to accept the facts and say that people can live which ever way that they choose. If men choose to be with men and women choose to be with women, then that is their choice. And if we who believe in the God of the Bible want to preach what God says, then that is our right. And if the homosexual chooses to ignore us, then that is their right. The most important thing for Christians to remember is that true Christianity is a faith based on choice. God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us, and yet He still loves us enough to let us choose to accept or refuse his love for us. 1 Corinthians 13:1 NIV If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
One of the strangest things about Chris is that if you ask him how he changed his sexual orientation, he can not tell you. I tried over and over to find out step by step how he changed his sexual orientation, and he will not tell me. He repeatedly told me that he would get back to me. But he never does. I then contact him again, and he says he will get back to me. He never gets back to me. He claims that we worked extremely hard for years to change his sexual orientation. And yet, he can't identify what he was doing to change his sexual orientation. Its clear Chris is obsessed with his religion. He has made it clear that he is less interested in helping gays than he is in fighting the "gay agenda".
Unfortunately, the people that are attracted to ex-gay ministries are frequently people who have serious emotional problems fueled by drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity and attempt to blame their problems on their same-sex attractions. They enter the ministry believing that by accepting a strong faith in a religion, they will eventually develop opposite sex attractions. You may want to take a look at Chris' testimonies page. It contains one entry and even this person does not appear to have developed opposite-sex attractions. Chris has had his ministry for 13 years and yet there is only one testimony. Not very encouraging. Pointing this out, I wouldn't be surprised if we suddenly see a slew of "successful" testimonies appear. It appears to me that Chris has made a career by calling himself an "ex-gay". In other words, his income comes from telling people he is "ex-gay". And the people who financially support him are frequently people who do not struggle with homosexuality themselves, but are people who oppose laws that will protect gays from discrimination and hate crimes. By supporting his "ex-gay" ministry they believe they make homosexuality appear to be a choice and therefore does not deserve protection under the law. If you want to understand the purpose of his ministry, on Saturday Feb 21, Chris is having a seminar titled "A Strong Delusion Understanding Pro-Gay Theology and How To Respond as a Christian". This seminar is clearly not intended for people who want to change their same-sex attractions. It appears the purpose of the seminar is to pander to his financial supporters who oppose gay rights and are determined that homosexuals will never be accepted in the church.
Is it not wonderful that we live in a country where we can have our own opinion! And freely speak it!!
We are each individual and unique created to respect and love one another [regardless of creed, race, religion or sexual orientation].
Respect: allowing those who have struggled with SSA and have made a choice to seek change and healing becoming who they are today AND respecting their choice; JUST AS MUCH AS THOSE WHO LIVE A LIFE OF SSA want to be respected for THEIR CHOICE.
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. --Janis Joplin
Disrespect is allowing inaccurate or misleading information to be given to vulnerable people. Disrespect is creating the illusion a person can choose to change their SSA into OSA through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Disrespect is portraying oneself as desiring to help people change their SSA into OSA when their real goal is to fight the "gay agenda".
When deciding where to get your information from, credentials matter. Take a look at Chris' credentials (he has none). And then, take a look at the credentials presented by organizations like The American Psychiatric Association, The American Medical Association, and The American Psychological Association. If you want information regarding SSA, visit their websites.
For additional information regarding sexual orientation, try the following website: http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts.html
Also, if you want more information about the claims of "Love Won Out": http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2004/apr/03/weekend.deccaaitkenhead
Finally, Chris is affiliated with PFOX. If you want to learn more about PFOX, here is a good starting point: http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2005/03/reacting-to-sca/
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