When she slides out of childbearing years, when her soul mate has been secured, when she still feels sexual, what are a mature woman’s breasts for?
Performer Ann Law, who has battled breast cancer, danced toward the answer to this questions last week, in “The Passion Flower Project” at Barking Legs Theater on Dodds Avenue.
“I don’t know if I survived this cancer, but part of my healing from breast cancer is participating 100 percent,” she said in a documentary video made by Chattanooga videographer Jarrod Whaley.
In June 2006, Ms. Law was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had no symptoms. A tiny mass was discovered during a routine mammogram.
Twelve days later, she underwent a radical mastectomy of her right breast. Seven weeks later, she removed her left breast preventively.
She decided not to use a padded bra or seek reconstructive surgery. Padded bras made it difficult to dance. Reconstruction required balloons to be inserted under the skin, then slowly pumped up, skin stretched for weeks, a gel bag placed under the skin.
“I’d already been examined, tested, cut and sewn up. To go through another process where my focus was going to be on reconstruction for many, many, many months did not make sense to me,” Ms. Law said.
Scars across her chest, Ms. Law pondered the purpose of breasts for months. Searching for clothing, she found no fashions for her new “look.”
“Never naked” had become her mantra.
“I never stepped out of the bathroom without a T-shirt or towel around me. I never got into the bed I had shared with the same man for 27 years without covering up,” she said.
Last October, she’d decided she’d had enough.
Artist Mary Petruska, a longtime friend, drew a picture of a passionflower vine. Skip Cisto, a former dance student, tattooed it across her chest.
The tattoo wasn’t designed as a cover-up, Ms. Law said. It was an artistic statement — a stylish, polite way to say: “I will not let you get the best of me. I am here. I am powerful. I am strong. I am still, and always will be, beautiful.”
“The very interesting thing was the day after the tattoo I cried for hours. I thought it would be just this art on my chest, and it was so much more, it was so much more,” Ms. Law said.
“It was the first time since the loss of both of my breasts that I felt whole,” she added. “It was the most amazing healing process I could have ever wished for.”
Chattanooga photographer Virginia Webb took pictures of the tattoo session. Whaley created a documentary.
Ms. Law wrote 10 monologues. Then, she danced.
The complete work, “Passion Flower,” including photos and video debuted last week.
A portion of the proceeds from the show was donated to the Chattanooga affiliate of Y-ME, a national breast cancer advocacy and assistance group.
Ms. Law opened with a sword dance and closed with a statement of “thanks” to cancer.
Lynn Harding, president of the board of the Chattanooga affiliate of Y-ME, said the work captured her own experience as a breast cancer survivor.
“Once you’ve gone through breast cancer, or any cancer, it strengthens you. It makes you see things differently. She portrayed that very well,” Ms. Harding said.
Tabbi Bilbrey, a massage therapist, applauded the piece.
“It was wonderful. She took the fear out of it, she embraced it. Her passionflower is just gorgeous,” Ms. Bilbrey said.
“From the male perspective, it was enlightening,” agreed Steve Walker, a financial planner from Maryville, Tenn. “I don’t want to say it was beautifully done, because it’s not a beautiful thing to happen to a woman, but this is a great way to get the message out to people who should hear it.”
Mindy Haworth, a Flintstone, Ga. dancer and friend of Ms. Law’s, said the performance renewed her love of dance.
“It was the most powerful dance I’ve seen, it blew me away. I want everyone who’s ever had cancer or known someone with cancer to see this because it’s so powerful,” she said.
In the end, Ms. Law said her understanding of breast cancer grew, like a passionflower vine, from malignant seed to radiant flower.
“At the beginning I felt betrayed by my body, having something so dangerous living inside of it and not being aware of it. But by rehearsing this work, creating this work and practicing this work, I heal every day,” Ms. Law said.
Though many questions remain unanswered, one, she said, is known: “How can we ever heal alone?”
