PDF: Darren Epps Bracket

Well, that was a disappointing first set of games. No upsets, no last-minute tension, no Gus Johnson call that you’ll search for on YouTube later. There was no reason even to call any friends except to tell them I saw a dude sing Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” — the first line is “I’ve been a bad, bad, girl” — at a karaoke deal last night. And he was totally into it. High comedy.

ANYWAY, here I am with three CBS channels and no good games. That’s right — the regular CBS and two HD CBS channels that are both different. I will not be leaving the house today.

I’m back again with the tourney picks we’ll be following the next three weeks. You might remember last year’s bracket — you know, the one with George Washington in the Sweet 16 and Texas A&M winning the national title. Impressive, I know. I haven’t looked it up, but I’m pretty sure GW fell behind 64-3 in the first 10 minutes of that first-round game against Vanderbilt.

Much better start this time, missing only Kent State. Who were those guys playing, the Ohio National Guard? They were just getting ki...I’ll just stop there. Big upset pick of this tournament is Cal State Fullerton over Wisconsin (I have no idea why) and Vanderbilt in the Elite Eight. Yes, that GW game last year left quite an impression on me.

I thought Georgia proved once again that Dennis Felton is a superb coach with a talent issue. The Bulldogs’ offensive sets worked well against a superior team, but no one could make an open shot. They did a great job screening, but the shooters couldn’t convert from behind the 3-point line and they were pretty open. Xavier is very difficult to guard, but Georgia really frustrated those guys in the first half.

Kentucky looked awful. Just awful. And now Joe Crawford will probably miss some NBA workouts because his back hurts from carrying the team. To be fair, that’s a totally different game if Kentucky has Patrick Patterson. The Wildcats just didn’t have enough guards to stop Marquette from penetrating.

Other highlights:

Craig Bolerjack talking about the SEC tournament moving from the Georgia Dome to Georgia Tech and saying, “They had to pack those fans in tight.” Really? Because I saw people give dirty looks to others who dared to sit within six seats of them. How could Craig Bolerjack call the Georgia game and not watch the SEC championship or even the semifinals? Did he mean to say that? I am perplexed.

Dave Bliss dunking on C.J. Anderson. Poor C.J. Anderson. He’ll be on the walls of every kid with a Dave Bliss poster.

UNLV coach Lon Kruger’s unibrow.

I thought Kent State would be like the cab driver: Neither can break 20.

Sadly, that’s about it. I literally fell asleep after the Kentucky game (I’m battling some sort of sickness). I can’t remember that happening ever during the first round. Let’s hope the night games are better.