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Friday, Oct. 10, 2008 , 8:40 a.m.

Epps’ SEC picks: UT’s prehistoric offense may be enough

So, yeah, Arian Foster lifted his ban on only speaking pterodactyl during interviews (who knew “veeek!” was pterodactyl for fumble?) this week. But I think we can find some deeper meaning in Foster’s pterodactyl talk. I mean, Tennessee’s offense does seem like it’s from the Cretaceous Period, right? And it’s extinct, no? Maybe Arian Foster is way ahead of us on this one.

Also, did you know pterodactyls aren’t considered dinosaurs? I looked it up on wikipedia, so you know it’s true. And you wonder what I do all day. To the picks:

Tennessee (+12) at Georgia: I looked up “Phillip Fulmer” on Google’s 2001 index and a link came up stating, “Phillip Fulmer has agreed to a contract extension that will pay him between $1.25 million and $1.35 million annually.” That’s like seeing on old, closed-down gas station with unleaded for $1.39 a gallon. Also, this: “Before this season, Phillip Fulmer was known as Peyton Manning’s coach and the guy who couldn’t beat Florida. Now he can be known as the best college football coach in the country.” Those were the days, huh?

Pick: Take the Vols, even though they’re 1-4 against the spread this. Veeeeek!

LSU (+6) at Florida: LSU defensive tackle Ricky Jean-Francois, last weekend: “If we get a good shot on (Tebow), we’re going to try our best to take him out of the game.” Statement from LSU defensive tackle Ricky Jean-Francois, last Tuesday: “We never go into any football game trying to hurt a player from the other team.” Good work, LSU media relations! If the football team performs half that well, and I think it will, the Tigers should roll.

Pick: LSU covers

Arkansas (+18.5) at Auburn: Really? Steve Ensminger running the offense is an upgrade over Tony Franklin? Ensminger called the plays in 2003 and, with Jason Campbell, Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown, Auburn ranked 66th in scoring offense, 61st in total offense and 83rd in passing offense. If they only had more NFL players on that team...

Pick: Arkansas covers. Imagine what Ensminger can do with Chris Todd and whoever plays receiver for Auburn!

South Carolina (-1) at Kentucky: Football fields are 100 yards long, goal line to goal line. Ten yards makes a first down. Touchdowns are six points. Steve Spurrier beats Kentucky. Ahh, the rules of football.

Pick: Go with South Carolina

Vanderbilt (-2.5) at Mississippi State: Do you know who else doesn’t believe in Vanderbilt yet? Vegas! The Commodores are 5-0 against the spread this year and just a slight favorite against hapless MSU. These are the kinds of gambling notes I get: “Mississippi State is 0-6 against the spread in home games off a loss against a conference team over the last three seasons.” Yeah, someone looked that up.

Pick: I’m taking Vandy

Last week: 2-3

This year: 21-19-1

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