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Sunday, Sept. 7, 2008 , 12:33 a.m.

Saying no to the knot: Young women delay marriage for career

By Laura Galbraith

Staff Writer

As more women go to college and embark on careers, many are putting off marriage, at least for a while.

The average age of first marriages for women in the United States is about 25.5 years, according to the most recent census report. (In Tennessee it’s 24.3 years and in Georgia 24.9.) Many women say they plan to wait even longer.

Katie vonWerssowetz, 28, is in her third year of medical school at East Tennessee State University’s Quillen College of Medicine. Because she stays so busy with her studies, Ms. vonWerssowetz said she won’t be getting married anytime soon.

“People outside the (medical) profession just have no idea the amount of yourself you have to give to this project, to this life you’ve chosen,” she said.

Ms. vonWerssowetz said that although she and her boyfriend have been together for four years, she believes now is not the time to get married because she needs to stay focused.

“When I get married, I want to make sure I put 100 percent effort into it, and right now, unfortunately, I’m putting most of my effort into medical school,” Ms. vonWerssowetz said. “And, you know, I may be able to do both, but I’m not willing to risk either at this point.”

Kimberly Pettyjohn, 29, is a first-generation college student in her family. While completing her master’s degree at the University of Tennessee of Chattanooga, Ms. Pettyjohn started working full-time at Unum, the Chattanooga-based insurance company.

Ms. Pettyjohn said that while in college, getting married was certainly not her main objective.

“I knew my parents had sacrificed a lot for me to have a good education, and I wanted to be able to make them proud and to do something that they had not really had the opportunity to do,” Ms. Pettyjohn said. “And so that was really kind of the main thing, to just work hard and get that education. And I knew other things would come later as a result of that.”

Although finished with school, Ms. Pettyjohn said the right person has not come around yet for her to consider marriage.

“To me, marriage is a big decision, and it’s a big commitment, and I don’t want to go into that lightly,” Ms. Pettyjohn said. “I guess I only want to do it once, so I want it to be the right decision when it happens.”

Ms. Pettyjohn said she believes that waiting has given her a chance to mature and learn more about herself.

“I just know in my early 20s, I wasn’t mature enough to be married, and some days I think that at 29 I’m not mature enough to be married,” she said.

Some young women adamantly believe that marrying young was the best decision for them.

Angela Simpson, 28, married when she was 20. She runs a business and Web site from home and is the mother of two young children.

Mrs. Simpson said one reason she got married right away was because her husband is significantly older.

“I thought it made more sense to go ahead and get married earlier instead of waiting and waiting,” she said.

Mrs. Simpson said premarital counseling with a pastor made her feel more confident in her decision.

“You have to make sure, whatever age you are, that you’re on the same page with the person you’re intending to marry,” she said. “I think that some people at the age of 20, like myself, might be able to make that decision and be OK with it.”

Amy Bearden, 22, met her husband of nearly one year at Lee University. She said that she does not feel like she is limiting her options by marrying so young.

“I guess I didn’t feel stifled or like I was settling,” she said. “I felt like I was actually moving into more opportunities because (my husband) is extremely supportive and encourages me and tells me he’s proud of me and that he wants me to achieve anything I want.”

Mrs. Bearden said that people should not be quick to judge those who decide to marry young.

“Not everyone has the same life experiences. Not everybody is at the same place in life,” Mrs. Bearden said.

“It’s not fair to lump everyone in (one category) and try to make them abide by some set time limit for marriage,” she said.

Ms. Pettyjohn said she is happy to focus on herself for now.

“Once a family comes into the picture and children come along, you know that child comes first,” she said. “So I just want to enjoy the time that I am single, because I may be blessed with the opportunity to be married and have a family one day, and I don’t want to have any regrets as far as, ‘Well, I wish I had been able to do this or I wish I had been able to do that.’ ”

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