It’s 3 p.m. Tennessee is leading by 40. The games stink again. You’re trying to talk yourself into a close Georgia-South Carolina game, but flashbacks of the Vanderbilt game and the first half of the North Carolina State game continue appearing in your head. But then you perk up. Because, in 30 minutes, it returns: the CBS College Football theme music.

Daaaaa, da da daaa, da da da daaaa ... It doesn’t get much better than the CBS College Football music, does it? Every time I sit down to write a column, I listen to it just to get me going. Then I realize I’m hungry, so I go make a sandwich. I lose my enthusiasm, and you see the final product: a mediocre column. Sigh.

Say what you want about Urban Meyer’s decision to kick a field goal with 25 seconds left in a 20-point game, but a lot of Gator gamblers went home happy. If Meyer had just said, “I know a lot of our fans bet on our team, so I wanted to support them,” I would have been delighted. And hey, it was the difference between a winning and losing week for me.

To the picks ...

UAB (+30) at Tennessee: If we see another repeat of the 2005 game, a 17-10 win for the Vols, Phillip Fulmer should just keep running when he jogs off the field, Forrest Gump-style. This is not a good UAB team. If the Vols have problems here, well, remember what happened the rest of the 2005 season? Oh, that’s right. You’re a Tennessee fan, and that is the season you do not speak of. In fact, 2005 never even happened. What UAB game? Hmmm, doesn’t ring a bell (covers ears and yells).

Pick: Tennessee covers

Georgia (-7) at South Carolina: Somehow, rotating Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher doesn’t have the same ring as rotating Rex Grossman and Jesse Palmer. But I’m not picking against a desperate Steve Spurrier. By the time this game is over, people will think Les Miles is normal.

Pick: Take the Gamecocks

Western Kentucky (+28) at Alabama: I’ve learned to never pick the Tide to cover against a cupcake. Worked well last week. It’s funny, of all the teams that seem to struggle with the patsies, it’s the one whose coach seems to take no joy in wins because he’s concentrating on the next game. Weird. Or maybe Nick Saban is just too nice to blow someone out. Yeah, that’s it.

Pick: Western Kentucky covers

Rice (+7) at Vanderbilt: I like how Bobby Johnson said he didn’t understand why everyone was favoring South Carolina so much last week. Um, Bobby? You had not beaten a ranked team at home since 1992. Forgive us for being skeptical. That’s like Amy Winehouse not drinking on a Friday night and saying, “Why is everyone looking at me? What’s the big deal?”

Pick: Take Vandy

MTSU (+16.5) at Kentucky: MTSU only beat an ACC team, Maryland, by 10 points, so call me unimpressed. MTSU also counts the Blue-White spring game as a “win” on its Web site, and that’s dumb enough for me to pick against them.

Pick: Go with the Wildcats

Auburn (-10.5) at Mississippi State: I’m going with the Bobby Johnson line of thinking here and picking MSU because of last year’s win. Don’t let me down, Bobby.

Pick: Mississippi State covers

North Texas (+41.5) at LSU: You just don’t see lines this lopsided very often (I think USC was 45-point favorites against Idaho last year). I don’t know why anyone would bet on a game like this. Somewhere, Charles Barkley rolls his eyes and disagrees.

Pick: Take North Texas. Or whatever

Last week: 4-3

This year: 8-8

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