All the girls walk by

Dressed up for each other

And the boys do the boogie-woogie

On the corner of the street

--Van Morrison, Wild Nights©

Allow us this momentary pause for a bit of brand-speak from Linda Yaccarino, executive vice president and chief operating officer of Turner Entertainment Ad Sales/ Marketing and Acquisitions, in the Jan. 29, 2009 issue of Broadcast and Cable (B&C) magazine within the Alex Weprin column headlined: “Can Product Integration Succeed? TNT Says ‘Trust Me’:

“We are marketers just like our advertising partners and understand the absolute necessity to have meaningful platforms to communicate to consumers effectively. Both powerful brands, Rolling Rock and Dove Hair Care, will have the opportunity not only to communicate their message through custom TNT marketing and promotions driving awareness for the series, but also to give viewers a glimpse into their branded objectives through compelling storyline development. It’s a unique way for viewers to emotionally connect with each brand on an entirely new level.”

So says Linda.

What are the odds that those words actually crossed her lips, extemporaneously, in the presence, telephonic or otherwise, of anyone at B&C?

Hint: The publication has been turning up in my mail box for years on end, even though it’s primarily intended for media planners and buyers. I’ve never subscribed, nor have I ever in my, um, twenty-ish years in advertising purchased an ounce of media.

Maybe I’ll get an invoice for $8,000 someday, but I suspect that anyone who turns up anywhere with an ad agency job title—especially if it contains the word “creative” or “director” or bears the rambling yaw and sheer “veepee-ness” of Linda’s—is a hot prospect for B&C’s comp subscriber list.

In fairness, B&C’s hardly alone in its “hamburger helper” approach to bulking up a subscriber base.

So, back to my point. I’ve never met her, and I’m not calling Linda Yaccarino a teller of untruths, or even disingenuous. I’d sooner do 50 single hand push-ups under my desk with her job title on my back.

I’m just saying, you can smell the spin and PR pro-crafting more than a few big city blocks away. (Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and suppose that maybe the quote was an e-mail response to a question from Mr. Weprin—allowing for internal TNT approvals—answered three days later.)

So, whether spoken, e-mailed or even tweeted, she’s got a meaningful communications platform to position and she’s darned well gonna position it.

That, we suspect, is just how Linda rolls.

This whole thing reminds me, unfortunately I guess, of a near lost deep cuts track from Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels’ LP “Breakout” titled “Shakin’ with Linda.” Around 1966-67, no greater white-boy-R&B-cum-rock-and-roll act could be found.

Van Morrison had abandoned Them to go all brown-eyed and solo under Bert Berns’ crafty direction. There were the Rascals and the Four Seasons—same ballpark, different packages.

But the Wheels were special. With consummate showman and definitive raspy-croaking vocalist Mitch Ryder out front, the Wheels were one of the few of that blue-eyed soul genre whose live act legitimately rivaled their inspirational sources: James Brown, Jackie Wilson, Ike & Tina and Otis Redding.

And among “Breakout’s” twelve tracks, not a one clocks in over 3:18, and eight take care of business in less than three minutes. Let’s hear it for concision!

(I’ll wait here whilst you check iTunes for a few shakes with Linda . . . Nice, huh?)

Speaking of concision, there’s the length of said quote from TNT exec Yaccarino—a whopping 84 words, 476 characters. More than triple the twitter limit. . . so it wasn’t a tweet!

Or maybe she triple-tweeted to get it all down the wire. Yeah, that’s it—the ol’ triple-tweet strategy.

With hopes of avoiding rampant “pot/kettle” commentary, I’ll close, and trust that you’ll return to this very spot on your Interwebs, about this time next week for more fun with Mason, Conner, Sarah Krajicek-Hunter and the rest of the “Trust Me” gang!