Taking Sides

MARK KENNEDY: My first-grader is beginning to have enough homework to make study time an issue at my house. He usually has a 15-minute writing assignment and a short book to read. We work homework around dinner, bath and team sports; but every night it’s a negotiation as to the order of things. I’m thinking we might be better off having a set time for homework, say the first 30 minutes after he gets home each day. The rules we set for our 7-year-old will set the pattern for our 2-year-old later on. Any thoughts?

KAREN NAZOR HILL: I learned by trial and error, but, more importantly, I learned that each child is different. What works best for one child may or may not work for the other. My four children had very different schedules, so there was never a set rule of study time. What I did learn, early on, was that when a child walked through the door after school or sports, he or she needed a break, whether it was 15 minutes or an hour, they just wanted to relax — just like I do today when I get home.

MARK: That makes sense. It’s often 10 hours or more between the time my children leave for school and day care and the time they arrive home in the evening. That’s a long day for adults, much less little guys.

I actually enjoy helping my first-grader with homework. Listening to him read aloud is one of the high points of my day. My 2-year-old son brought home some paper one day last week and energetically announced that he had “homework.” He’s already emulating big brother.

KAREN: I loved helping my children with homework, too. It helped me to learn their strengths and weaknesses in all areas of studies. When they did have a weakness, we worked on it at home. What’s funny though, three of my children excelled in the sciences — my weakness. Today, two are scientists, and when they update me on their projects (one is a “mad cow” scientist, the other works with stem cells), they have to explain it to me in a way that I can understand. What goes around comes around. And, by the way, I’m one mighty proud Mama.