Our 3-year-old son is suddenly afraid of fire. Last month he backed away from his birthday cake, wide-eyed and trembling, terrified by a 1-inch flame on a candle.
His mother and I know from parenting experience -- and from reading books about childhood development -- that 3-year-olds often go through a fear phase.
We first noticed our younger son's fear of fire on a family vacation last month when he leaped into my arms at a Cracker Barrel restaurant. "I don't like this place," he announced, transfixed by an open fireplace. Two nights later, he cowered in a booth at an Italian restaurant in Destin, Fla., after he saw flames leap up from a grill.
We would probably be more concerned if we hadn't seen our 8-year-old son cycle in and out of fearful moods when he was 3 years old.
Today, our older son is a bold second-grader -- a sturdy ballplayer who is more courageous that I was at his age. Last Saturday in a soccer game, he caught an elbow in the face and staggered to the sideline holding his nose and sobbing gently. After a couple of minutes to gather himself, though, he whispered to me in an even voice, "I want to go back in."
A big chunk of being a parent is helping your kids work through periods of fear -- whether it is brought on by a fire phobia or a flying elbow. A hug followed by a gentle push urging them to face the fear seems to be the right formula.
Truth be told, teaching our children how to shrug off fear is hard. At 51, I have a permanent knot in my stomach. Some days it's all I can do to cope with my own nerves.
I was thinking about this last week when it occurred to me that we, as a nation, are working through a fear phase. For the first time in decades, the ambient emotion in America is anxiety. (Frankly it feels like the 1970s: "Jaws" meet "2012.")
We are in this mood for good reason. We have learned the hard way to be fearful of excess debt, risky investments, unemployment and enemies at home and abroad.
It's important, though, that we view our current circumstances as a phase. After all, those who embrace fearfulness as the norm are doomed to diminished lives. Over time, healthy fear dissolves into prudence.
As a nation, we are bleeding from the nose and searching for a hug.
Raise your hand, though, if you don't think Americans will man up and return to the game.
When that happens -- fear, say your prayers.
Kennedy is the content editor of the Times Free Press Life sections and writes the “Life Stories” column. Previously, he was the first Sunday editor of the Times Free Press. Before Chattanooga’s newspapers were merged in 1999, Kennedy was the coordinating editor of the Chattanooga Times, where he had previously been an education reporter, feature writer and team leader. His first newspaper job was as sports editor of the Cleveland (Tenn.) Daily Banner. Kennedy’s human ...
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