For anyone visiting the Chattanooga area's myriad haunted attractions during October, it may be wise to keep some spare pants on hand.
"We've had people lose control of their bodily functions," said Tim Green, co-designer of this year's Haunted Cavern at Ruby Falls.
Mr. Green and his partner, Todd Patton, are co-owners of the Fear Connection, a Hixson-based haunt company. The two have designed the Haunted Cavern for the past four years.
A new attraction this year is the Haunted House on Broad Street, housed in a former mortuary, Crombie's Funeral Service. Actual death equipment -- coffins, bodybags and an autopsy table -- are incorporated into the tour through the rickety, 100-year-old building.
"Here's where the fluids ran down through this hole into a drain," said owner and haunt enthusiast Dan Laymon, of an autopsy table seemingly covered in blood. The imitation-blood art is done by Chattanooga area artist Tommy Payne.
Mr. Laymon said the history of the building helps set the Haunted House on Broad Street apart from other Halloween attractions.
"Do you know of another haunt attraction within 500 mlles that's an actual mortuary?" he said.
Mr. Green and Mr. Patton strive to set themselves apart as well, by conjuring up a new terror scenario each year.
At the Haunted Cavern this year, visitors will descend deep into the vault of the Wyrmwood Asylum, where the area's most psychotic criminals were kept by Dr. Kilgore, according to an elaborate backstory. The doctor, Mr. Green said, would study the most disturbed inmates rather than try to cure them.
"(He would) remove their eyelids, just to see how sleep deprivation would affect them."
For each haunt they design, Mr. Patton and Mr. Green create a detailed story, but you won't see a lot of wandering skeletons or ghosts shouting "boo" from these two. They like keeping it real, so to speak.
"Someone who is in a straitjacket or a little psychotic is something that can happen every day, unlike vampires," said Mr. Patton. "A lot of people don't like crazies."
Enter at your own risk.
THE CHOPPING MAUL
* Bradley Square Mall, 200 Paul Huff Parkway, Cleveland, Tenn.
* The scoop: Are you afraid of the dark? You will be on this trip through the hidden haunts of a shopping mall.
* Hours: Open 7 p.m.-midnight every Wednesday-Saturday in October.
* Admission: $10. Buy-one, get-one-free deals on Wicked Wednesdays.
* Phone: 423-595-3718.
* E-mail: terrortainment@gmail.com.
* Web site: www.terrortainment.com.
CLOWN TOWN
* Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Road.
* The scoop: Not since Stephen King's "It" have clowns been so scary. Buried away since 2006, Clown Town is back with a vengeance. Watch out for Bumpertooth and his Gimp show. And stay away from Crack Baby, the cooking clown with the healthy appetite. You'll never want to sleep again; clowns will eat you.
* Hours: Open at 8 p.m. every Thursday-Sunday through Oct. 31.
* Admission: $15. Not recommended for small children.
* Phone: 423-314-7224 or 706-935-5428.
* E-mail: hauntedchatt@aol.com.
* Web site: www.haunted chattanooga.com.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S HAUNTED HOUSE
* Grand View Cabins and RV Park, 2406 Gap Road, Altamont, Tenn.
* The scoop: Take a ride in the electric chair, lose your head in a guillotine and watch Dr. Frankenstein's experiments in the lab while trying to avoid vampires, mummies and assorted monsters. New this year are a pumpkin patch and hayride.
* Hours: 5:30 p.m.-midnight, Oct. 16-17, 23-24, Oct. 30-31.
* Admission: $5.
* Phone: 931-692-3484.
* Web site: www.grandviewrvpark.com.
HAUNTED BARN
* 5107 McDonald Road, McDonald, Tenn.
* Sit by the bonfire, sip apple cider. It all sounds so lovely, but ghouls lurk in the shadows of the woods. Explore the maze if you dare.
* Hours: Open 7 p.m.-midnight every Friday and Saturday through Oct. 31.
* Admission: $15.
* Phone: 423-396-9790.
* E-mail: TheHauntedBarn@Comcast.net.
* Web site: www.thehauntedbarnchattanooga.com.
HAUNTED CARNIVAL
* Sir Goony's Family Fun Center, 5918 Brainerd Road.
* Enjoy CarnEvil, Revenge of the Vampires and 19 holes of Haunted Golf.
* Hours: Open 7 p.m., runs every Friday and Saturday through Oct. 24, Oct. 25, 28-31
* Admission: $20.
* Phone: 892-5922.
* E-mail: thehauntedcarnival@comcast.net.
* Web site: www.sirgoonys.com.
HAUNTED HILLTOP
* 8235 Highway 58, Harrison.
* Beware of rats, spiders and alligators in the haunted house, haunted maze and haunted hayride. While you wait your turn to venture into the terror, explore the on-site graveyard and pray discontented souls don't take over your body.
* Hours: Open 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday through Oct. 31.
* Admission: $15.
* Phone: 488-3956.
* Web site: www.thehauntedhilltop.com.
HAUNTED VILLAGE
* 3424 Keith Road, Ringgold, Ga.
* The scoop: Take a tour through the forgotten town of Carter's Grove, where ghosts and ghouls await in a butcher shop, morgue, funeral home and cemetery.
* Hours: Open at 7:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday through Oct. 31.
* Admission: $13. Not recommended for children under 10.
* Phone: 423-314-7224 or 706-935-5428.
* E-mail: hauntedvillage@charter.net.
* Web site: www.myspace.com/thehauntedvillage.
HOOTIN' HOLLOW
* The River Maze at Birchland Ocoee Farms, 173 Welcome Valley Road, Benton, Tenn.
* Not a haunted house, a chilling, thrilling walk through the Ocoee Valley. A new attraction for 2009
* Hours: Fridays 6:30 to 11 p.m.; Saturdays 6:30 to 10:30 p.m., through Oct 31.
* Admission: $15. Parental discretion advised
* Phone: 650-0710
* E-mail: dianne@therivermaze.com.
* Web site: www.therivermaze.com
HOUSE OF HORRORS
* 140 Edwards St., N.E., Cleveland, Tenn.
* "Haunting Cleveland since 1984, the House of Horrors is not for the faint of heart. Words cannot begin to describe the terror that will befall you. Witness the prime example of horror with over 10,000 square feet of madness, but don't come alone!" -- House of Horrors myspace.com page
* Hours: Open 7 p.m. Oct. 16-18, 23-25, 29-31.
* Admission: $9.
* Phone: 488-3956.
* E-mail: boo@wewillscareyou.com.
* Web site: www.wewillscareyou.com.
VOODOO BAYOU
* Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Road, Flintstone, Ga.
* The swamplands near Blowing Springs are a hotspot of paranormal activity. Fight for your life and your soul while encountering the spirits of mystics, zombies and man-eating plants in the cursed Forest of Fear.
* Hours: Open after dark every Friday and Saturday through Oct. 31.
* Admission: $15. Discretion advised for parents and parents-to-be.
* Phone: 706-820-2531.
* E-mail: maize@seerockcity.com.
* Web site: www.thevoodoobayou.com.
Holly Leber is a reporter and columnist for the Life section. She has worked at the Times Free Press since March 2008. Holly covers “everything but the kitchen sink" when it comes to features: the arts, young adults, classical music, art, fitness, home, gardening and food. She writes the popular and sometimes-controversial column Love and Other Indoor Sports. Holly calls both New York City and Saratoga Springs, NY home. She earned a bachelor of arts ...
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