By Gina Bever
"OH MY God, that's so true!" my best friend laughed/screamed as we careened into the other lane of traffic.
Was it something I said? OK, it was something I said.
We were talking about things we wished men understood about women. And I innocently said: "We believe them when they say they're going to call."
Now, don't get the wrong impression here. My best friend and I don't tool around Chattanooga on Sunday afternoons dissing guys. We're actually big fans of the mans. But, you know, when we ladies get together, we talk.
So what do women wish men understood about them?
1. We believe you when you say you are going to call.
Let's dial it back to the discussion about the telephone.
We really do believe a man when he says, "I'll call you." It doesn't matter if you've said this to a woman 37,243 times and called her only 27 times. She will expect a call if you say "I'll call you."
I don't know why we can't see the pattern here. I think it has something to do with having two X chromosomes and is genetic. We can't help it, so please don't tempt our inner screaming banshee. Just say "Bye" or, if you really have to, "I'll talk to you later."
2. "Do I look fat in this?" has nothing to do with the outfit in question.
What?!?! Yes, I promise, the questions "Do I look fat in this outfit?" or "Does my butt look big in this?" have absolutely nothing to do with whatever your girlfriend or wife is wearing.
The real question you're being asked is: "Honey, do you think I look hot?" Really. It's that easy. And the answer is always "Baby, you look smokin'." Always. Extra style points for: "Honey, I think you need to hand me the phone so I can call the fire department and report you're on fire."
3. Even when you're right, you're wrong. And proving you're right is futile.
This is a harsh one (sorry, dudes!) and courtesy of a dear friend of mine.
Remember that time you got into an argument with a girlfriend, or maybe your wife, about the names of the characters on "The A-Team?" (Yeah, I loved that show, too.) And you said Mr. T's character's name was B.A. Baracus, and she said it was Apollo Creed? And then you, Mr. Smart E. Pants, had to Google it and prove that it was B.A. Baracus?
I'm really sorry that didn't work out better for you.
One of the harshest things to understand and accept when it comes to women is that even when you are right, you are wrong, and arguing your righteous case is futile. I told you it was harsh.
Of course, if you're into pointless pain and suffering, feel free to not accept this fact. Otherwise, understand that we're very sorry we just can't accept that you are indeed right (again, I think it's genetic), and keep Mr. Smart E. Pants away from all Wi-Fi hotspots.
Women really do want men to understand them, and to understand men. And I'd like to think that one day, we'll all understand each other, and men will call when they say they will.
But that would totally ruin the joke wouldn't it?