GOING TO CHURCH doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

EASY RULE of thumb: If the sun isn't shining, your headlights should be.

WON'T SOMEBODY please open a nice German restaurant here before the VW plant opens? Huntsville is too far to go for schnitzel.

I TALK ABOUT my dog in glowing terms: He knows his place and gets the job done.

DO WE REALLY stop traffic in NYC for Muslims to bow East yet we can't display Christian scenes in public places in a Christian nation?

WHEN I WENT to school, the principals didn't need assistants because the Board of Education left them alone and let them do their own jobs.

THE RECALL efforts were just too good to be true. I guess the old adage is correct, "You can't fight city hall!"

IF YOUR THINK Republicans will improve the job market, you must have forgotten they're the ones who love cheap labor!

WE CAN always be sure legislators will find the money to stuff in their own pockets even when there's no money for anything else.

IT'S INTERESTING that no matter how long unemployment benefits last, most recipients are able to find a job in the last month of benefits.

PEOPLE ARE afraid to eat seafood from the Gulf but have no problem ingesting drugs, alcohol and tobacco.