published Friday, April 15th, 2011

5 at 10: Friday Mailbag

And we're off with another mailbag. By the 5-at-10's calculations, this is a new record 12th consecutive day with a 5-at-10, and yes, we're running on fumes. Thanks for your patience and for your participation, which is big part of the fun around here.

Nice to see a mix of new and familiar names in the mailbag, and here we go...



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    In this file photo, Jay Greeson tees off on hole 10 during the practice round of the 2007 Chattanooga Classic at Black Creek Golf Course Tuesday. Official play for the Chattanooga Classic will begin Thursday and end Sunday. Staff Photo by Dan Henry/ Chattanooga Times Free Press

From CelticVol

Hey 5@10,

I have to say that I’m super SUPER jealous of you playing Augusta National. Playing Augusta is one of the items on my bucket list. Did you ever catch yourself thinking, “Man this is where Jones, Sarazen, Arnie, and Jack played.” Can you comment on how hilly the course is? I’ve always heard that watching it on TV doesn’t do the terrain justice. Also, were the pin placements the same as Sunday?



CelticVol,

It was an awesome day, there was no denying it. This was actually our second time to play Augusta National. In our first trip to cover the Masters in 2003, they pulled our name out of the hat of the more than 500 working media members there. Once you get picked you have to wait seven full years to be eligible again, and this was our first year being back in the drawing and they pulled our name again. Crazy, huh?

It absolutely is a bucket list-type thing, along the lines of running with bulls or climbing a famous mountain or whatever floats your boat. It's definitely an attention getter at parties when you start a story, "When I played Augusta National..."

As for your question, absolutely you look around in awe of the cathedral in which you're standing. In some ways it would be like playing a practice game at the Old Yankee Stadium, especially with monuments in the outfield. At Augusta National, they do such a great job of highlighting the history. There are plaques and monuments on the course and in the clubhouse. It's so familiar like the azaleas on No. 13 or Rae's Creek that everyone sees every year. It's also so personal like where were you when Tiger chipped in on No. 16 or when Phil won his first major. And it's all there close enough to touch.

Let's do a quick, 10-word-or-less, top-five list on the chill-bump moments from Monday:

  1. Attention to every detail: The range had a bin for every golf ball imaginable.
  2. Walking over the Sarazen Bridge: Plaque honors legendary double-eagle on 15th in 1935.
  3. The experience that is No. 16: Be it Jack ('86) or Tiger ('05) or whomever — special memories there
  4. Touring the clubhouse and champions locker room: History drips from the walls and the silence speaks.
  5. Looking through the shoot on No. 18: The tree tunnel that has produced 75 Masters winners.

As for the grounds, well, let's just say the assistant greens keepers are "studying a lot of this stuff so they know it ya know, like Chinch bugs, ya know... Manganese... a lot of people don't even know what that is." (Because the 5-at-10 can not remember a round of golf where "Caddyshack" was not quoted at least once.)

The course is hilly — one of the caddies said the green at No. 18 was roughly 300 feet higher elevation than the tee box. The reverse is true on No. 10, which is a huge drop, unless of course you hit it in the cabins. There are a lot of mounds and subtle hills throughout, too. It's an amazing piece of landscape architecture, there's no doubt. And yes, the pins were in the same spot as they were on Sunday.



From Falcon Follower

Hey,

Rumor has it the 5@10 likes the draft. Who’s going No. 1 and who do you think the Falcons should be looking at?

Thanks,



Falcon Follower,

The rumor is true, the 5-at-10 loves the draft. You know this.

The debate is picking up steam about the top pick, and there has to be a clear distinction of the question: Is it "Who is going No. 1?" or "Who should go No. 1?"

Most of the gurus have started to signal that the Carolina Panthers are going to take Cam Newton with the No. 1 pick. The 5-at-10 believes the signals. We also believe that in five years, former LSU cornerback Patrick Peterson will be the best player from this draft.

As for the Falcons, the mock drafts have them looking at a pass-rusher such as Adrian Clayborn of Iowa with the 27th pick of the first round. It's tough to project who will still be there that late in the first round, but that's not a bad projection. A name like Kyle Rudolph, the mega-talented former Notre Dame tight end, has started to pick up steam, too. (Hey, Tony Gonzalez is not going to play forever.)

Here are three quick thoughts about the Falcons draft:

One, for the first time in a long while the Falcons do not have an overwhelmingly glaring need, which means they can draft from a position of strength.

Second, the Falcons' second-round pick could be a high impact guy — there's a lot of talent in this draft that is falling for one reason or another, and let's say the powers that be in Falconland would love big-upside receiver like a Leonard Hankerson, a Titus Young or even a Randall Cobb to be there to late in round 2.

Third, and this is just the 5-at-10 spit-ballin' here, it would be awesome if the Falcons made a big-time shake-it-up-move. Let's say Patrick Peterson's still on the board, and the Falcons offered their first, second and fourth round picks to Cleveland for the No. 6 pick overall. The Browns have a load of needs to address, so they're willing to talk. Pull the string Falcons, and make the move. (Don't know if you can tell or not, but the 5-at-10 believes Patrick Peterson is going to be a star.)



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    Matt LeBlanc and his monkey costar in 'Ed' (1996). (Univeral/The Kobal Collection)

From Al C.

A couple of months ago, you wrote about the best sports movies. You had the Natural and Hoosiers and a couple of others (wondered why there was no Slapshot, but that’s a personal choice I guess). My question is what are the worst sports movies? Is there anything worse than CaddyShack 2?



Al C(zervik),

Ding, ding, ding. Here's the weekly winner of the question that the 5-at-10 spent entirely too much time on. But, so it goes.

There are so many great sports movies, but in turn there are so many awful sports movies. Each distinction can be put into a dozen classifications — best stories, best acting, best real-life and the worst of each, too.

Let's roll out the red carpet and do this reverse Academy Award-style:

The Worst Sports Movie screenplay

"Ed" — whomever was sitting at the keyboard and developed the idea that, "Hey, we'll get a monkey to play third base, put him with one of the dudes from 'Friends' and call it a day," is now looking for gainful employment outside the movie industry. How do you pitch this idea to producers, "OK, remember the Disney classic, 'Gus, the Field Goal Kicking Mule' that had a silly animal and a TV sitcom star (Don Knotts), well, let's do it again except with baseball, a monkey and Matt LeBlanc."

The Worst Sports Movie acting

Kevin Bacon in "The Air Up There" — Bacon, who has a litany of big-time movie credits on his resume was cast as a former college hoops All-American/turned assistant after a knee injury. Bacon had a tough time dribbling with his left hand for Pistol Pete's Sake. If you can't believe the lead has some athletic chops, the movie is doomed.

The Worst Sports Movie picture, sequel division

Nominees are: "Caddyshack 2", "Rocky V", "Major League III: Back in Minors", "Bad News Bears Go to Japan", "Slapshot 2."

"Caddyshack 2" — Each of these was bad in its own way, and they're made worse because the original of each series was so good. There are only a few sequels that are comparable to the originals ("The Godfather" and "The Godfather II," "Star Wars" and "Empire Strikes Back," are a couple of the most notable), but there has never been a bigger divide between original and sequel than the "Caddyshack" clan. And that has every bit as much to do with "Caddyshack 2" being as awful as "Caddyshack" being awesome.

The Worst Sports Movie picture

"Ed", "The Fan", "Amazing Grace and Chuck", "Slugger's Wife", "Air Bud"

Gotta go with "Ed" here — and it's not that close. Want to know what was hard? Cutting the list to five, there are some really bad sports movies out there — seriously, there was no room for some of these stinkers such as "Summer Catch," or "Mr. 3000," or "Juwanna Mann," or "The Sixth Man."



From unsigned

When’s your next contest and what can I win? I like the free stuff.



Unsigned,

Thanks for your support. Not sure what the next one will be, but we made a commitment to come up with something for the Kentucky Derby, so maybe there. That said, we'll see and if we come up with something, you'll be the first to know, unsigned.



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    Cleveland Cavaliers fans taunt Miami Heat's LeBron James in the fourth quarter of the Cavaliers' 102-90 win in an NBA basketball game Tuesday, March 29, 2011, in Cleveland. (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)

From Mark D.

NBA playoffs, who you got? If you ask me, the Celtics are done, the Bulls are young and the Heat is ready. Miami's going to win the East, but can they beat the Lakers? What do you think?



Mark D.,

Maybe because of where college basketball is right now (it's just not that much fun to watch lately), the 5-at-10 is pretty excited about the NBA playoffs.

The 5-at-10 thinks you have your finger on the pulse of the East. The Celtics look cooked right now, and the fallout from the Kendrick Perkins trade has been somewhat stunning. The Bulls-Heat would be strong, the only way either one of those two can win it all, though, is for someone to down the Lakers before L.A. can get out of the West. The Lakers have too much size for any of the Eastern Conference teams other than the Magic, which won't get out of the East because their best player (Dwight Howard) can't shoot free throws and their point guard (Jameer Nelson) is 5-foot-7. So it goes.

Here we go with the quick 5-at-10 NBA playoff picks:

EAST

Bulls over Pacers

Heat over Sixers

Celtics over Knicks (but it goes the full 5 games)

Hawks over Magic

Bulls over Hawks

Heat over Celtics

Heat over Bulls

WEST

Spurs over Grizz (closer than most may expect)

Lakers over Hornets

Blazers over Mavs

Thunder over Nuggets

Thunder over Spurs

Lakers over Blazers

Lakers over Thunder (in the full seven)

Lakers over Heat (and David Stern gets exactly what he wanted)

— That is unless Whoopi Goldberg comes out of the crowd to coach the Knicks (like she did in "Eddie" — another really bad sports movie), then all bets are off.



Until Monday.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

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Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Eustice_Chase said...

First off...Its not a secret Im a big time 5@10 Supporter...I make my monthy donation paid to Chatt-Publishing and in the Memo it says "5@10..BooYah" but I am seriously re-thinking these donations seeing that Rocky V was listed as one of the worst Sports Movie sequels...That hurts me to the core...kind of like when Tommy Gunn showed up with George Washington Duke at Rocky's house on Christmas....the way Rocky felt when Tommy sped off..is now how I feel... I was in the process of making a foam finger for the 5@10...(please insert suggestions here_)

anyways enough about me, I'd like to go on record that if there was an award for best middle reliever that faces less than 3 batters per game and throws side arm...Peter Moylan should be the front runner... Any word on the MMA insdie the TFP ??? Insert Florida marlins as possible Braves Philly spoliers...they have what it takes...

April 15, 2011 at 10:53 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

I kinda have to agree with Cinco/Diaz...Rocky V is not one of my favorites...now grant it its not in my top five due to the fact that there are sooooo many bad sports movies that this category could just keep going and going...like the Scream Movie Franchise...i would have to say every Air Bud movie ever made...the sequels to the Sandlot...shouldnt have ever done one for that one...Angels in the Outfield...Rookie of the Year...I could keep goin...but alas time does not permit nor doth the impending doom from the storm system moving in...everybody around me is in a panic again...And I am having a hard time putting the Heat into my finals...i dont want them there..i want the bulls there..so Cinco stop it. I cant take the heartache any longer.

April 15, 2011 at 11:30 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

The Bulls can do it OSO!!!! They have what it takes to send the Heat Packing and Crying to their Momma's...as long as they arent out partying till 4am...

April 15, 2011 at 11:49 a.m.
5_at_10 said...

EC - the Rocky franchise is gold, but Tommy Gunn and the Don King character's "Go ahead pug and I'll sue" line at the end made it too much. That said, Rocky Balboa was better than expected. As for the foam finger, well, let's just move along. And buckets can you imagine the South Beach shindig at LeBron's Mama's House if the Heat win it all. Or the Terms of Endearment tearfest if they don't.

Oso - got nothing against your Bulls and D-Rose is going to be a stud for a long time. But who other than Rose is going to make shots in crunch time?

April 15, 2011 at 12:35 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

KEMBA COULD.....IF HE WAS THERE.......

April 15, 2011 at 1:04 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Oso...let it go man...just let it go...

April 15, 2011 at 1:11 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

No love/hate for The Fish That Saved the Pittsburgh?

April 15, 2011 at 1:22 p.m.
kburgess1013 said...

Thanks 5 at 10 for the Rocky V nomination. It took me nearly 3 years to get Sylvester Stallone and Talia Shire's inane dialogues in that movie out of my head, and I fear it may now take another 3 years to get it out again.
And I think by sticking to films featuring more traditional sports you have neglected to mention extreme sports cinema that is so bad the films on your list look like they should have received academy awards in comparison. For example, Matthew MacConaughey in the 2008 film Surfer, Dude. (I don't understand the need for a comma after Surfer, but that is the least of Surfer, Dude's woes.) If you can survive all 85 minutes of that film and still have a functioning brain, consider yourself lucky.

April 15, 2011 at 1:35 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Oso —

Kemba could, if was there. In fact, here's hoping the Bulls trade up and find a way to add Kemba to the fold. That would be spectacularly spectacular. If that happens, we'll find a way to get you a Kemba Bobblehead. Deal?

BIspy —

The Fish is on the shortlist for best acting turns for a real-life athlete. Quick top 5:

  1. Brett Favre in There's Something About Mary

  2. Kareem in Airplane

  3. Dr. J in the Fish that Saved Pittsbugh

  4. Bernard King in Fastbreak

  5. Reggie Jackson in Naked Gun

Kburg —

The realm once you go beyond the mainstream sports is so far outhere, it would be nearly impossible to put really bad into context. You mentioned something called "Surfer, Dude" and that sounds truly awful, and that's not even moving into the neighborhood where debacles such as "Hot Dog the Movie" or "Over the Top" (Stallone's tour de force about arm wrestling) or any number of surfing, skiing, (fill in the blank) movies live.

— 5-at-10

April 15, 2011 at 1:36 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

What about Shaq and Penny Hardawy in Blue Chips??? Honarable Mention at least i hope? Right ? Or Shaq in Kazzam?

April 15, 2011 at 1:41 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Must ... kill ... queen. You know, I didn't bring that up with Mr October the night I sat next to him at a "gentleman's club."

April 15, 2011 at 1:46 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

DEAL ON THE BOBBLEHEAD...I LIKED MR OCTOBER BETTER IN BENCHWARMERS....FUNNY MOVIE....HAVENT SEEN THE SURFER MOVIE AND BY ALL MEANS IT SOUNDS LIKE I WANT BE MAKING AN EFFORT TO WATCH IT FO SHO NOW. MY VOTE IS FOR DARYL STRAWBERRY IN THE EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS....SHOWED REAL ACTING CHOPS SHOWING THE PAIN IN THE OUTFIELD.

April 15, 2011 at 1:51 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Holy Neon Bordeaux's High Tops that's a great, Great GREAT call. Simply great. Shaq may get his own category for crying out loud.

BIspy4 —

When we saw Reggie, we didn't mention it either. Of course it was near the beginning of our newspapering career, and we were standing at the urinal at Turner Field and in walks Reggie.

5-at-10: "Hey, you're Reggie Jackson."

Reggie: "Yeah."

Not exactly our most clever conversation. In the men's room no less. So it goes.

Oso —

Loved that Simpsons. Loved it. Let's see across the diamond went Mattingly, Sax, O. Smith and Wade Boggs. The outfield was Strawberry, Canseco and Griffey Jr.. The battery was Scioscia and Clemens. That's two MLB managers (Scoiscia and Mattingly), three current or soon-to-be Hall o Famers (Griffey, Smith and Boggs) and two of the big players in the steroid era (Canseco and Clemens). Who would have though Daryl Strawberry would be the quiet one in the bunch?

— 5-at-10

April 15, 2011 at 1:54 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

MLB Network is showing Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. I will now gouge out my eyes. Even the old man said after the 9th, "This won't end well. I'm going to bed."

April 15, 2011 at 2 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Nobody could drain the J quite like Ricky Roe...whose father was Southern Baptist..of course!

April 15, 2011 at 2:27 p.m.
wcole777 said...

I'd like to go ahead and toss the somewhat recent ping pong movie, Balls of Fury, or Fire (or something like that) with Christopher Walken and the chubby dude, in the mix for being one more terrible film on fringe sports. Conversely, Dodgeball was a fringe flick that made the cut. Not too bad. ESPN the Ocho, classic.

April 15, 2011 at 2:38 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Yeah Cotton, Remember the 5 D's Dodge Dip Duck Dive and Dodge! Where can I find a "my dodge ball coach just gut crushed by 300lbs of irnoy" card?

April 15, 2011 at 2:40 p.m.
jgreeson said...

BIspy,

Who knew that the 2003 ALCS was just the beginning of the headaches that Aaron Boone would cause. Dude is a brutal baseball announcer. Like Joe Morgan bad, but without the playing credentials. Hey, Oso, that's another one to add to the summer list — Worst announcers that were former good-to-great players (Morgan, Aikman, etc.).

EC —

Ricky Roe, from French Lick, no less. Sad tail for all you boys and girls out there.

WC-triple7s —

Never saw "Balls of Fury" (shut up BIspy). Don't see the 5-at-10 clan renting that one in the near future either. That said, Dodgeball was every entertaining and quite funny. The Ocho. Cotton. Patches. The whole gang. In fact, the 5-at-10 was about to go into a quote-fest, but let's just say that Dodgeball will be prominently featured at some point next week. And to tie into a previous list, Lance Armstrong and Chuck Norris make strong appearances in "Dodgeball" — Pepper needs new shorts.

Well played sir.

— 5-at-10

April 15, 2011 at 2:59 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Of course, Hasselhoff’s turn in “Dodgeball” is beyond compare. And let’s not forget another sterling performance from Milton Waddams/Jimmy James, aka Stephen Root. Hey, “The Replacements” was on the other night. What a juxtaposition of acting talent — Gene Hackman and Keanu Reeves, though, you know, Reeves was kinda likable in his role. Is there a “B” level of sports movies, not great (ala “Hoosiers” or the original “Bad News Bears” … boy, talk about needless remakes) but you watch if it’s on, such as “The Replacements” and “Unnecessary Roughness”? I still say “The Longest Yard” is second only to “Hoosiers” and Adam Sandler needs to be brought up on criminal charges for even attempting a remake. The original had Burt Reynolds at the height of his appeal — every man wanted to be like him, every woman wanted him — whereas The Sand Man … well, it’s hard to get the image of the “Stud Boy” from “Remote Control” out of the mind. Plus, Eddie Albert in a fine, fine job as the heel warden after years of playing the good guy. And howsbout Joe Kapp and Ray Nitschke in their roles? Is anything better than Capt. Knauer going “Game ball” to Warden Hazen at the end? If only followed by “Stick this in your trophy case, Warden.” Besides, BIspy4 knows the 5@10 can recite Paul Crewe’s sideline speech by heart, no? “We’ve come too far together to stop now. For Nate. For Granny. For Caretaker …. Let’s do it.”

April 15, 2011 at 4:22 p.m.
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