Secret ’stache just the ticket

LISA DENTON: Barry, did you notice anything different about my picture today? That’s not menopause setting in. That’s me getting ready for ’80s and Moustache Night at the Chattanooga Lookouts game on Wednesday. I guess I could have gone with ’80s attire, but “Dynasty”-size shoulder pads won’t fit in a half-column head shot.

I like the ’stache so much I might leave it on for Used Car Night on Saturday. The cars they give away often have that golden-oldie vibe, so my new look could carry over to getting detail work done on my new wheels if I should win. Pimp my ride. Pimp my face.

BARRY COURTER: See, this is awkward. Am I supposed to say the ’stache looks good on you? Wisdom tells me I lose either way on this one. It does bring out the color in your eyes. How’s that?

That should be a good time at AT&T Field. Owner Frank Burke has a flair for fun, for sure.

LISA: I have been assured that fake facial hair is OK, so I’m good to go Wednesday. Anyone who dresses in ’80s-era attire or sports a mustache will get a discount on general-admission tickets. The Lookouts are basing this promotion on the mustache first-baseman Scott Van Slyke wore in 2010. Some have described his as “epic.”

And not to change the subject, but Kenny Rogers is coming to Siskin StarNight on Saturday, and he’s rocked facial hair for as long as I can remember, so it must be a good thing. Which reminds me: Somewhere I have a button that says “I spent the night with Kenny Rogers” from a concert he did in Murfreesboro back in the early ’80s.

BARRY: That’s better than the “I ate Kenny Rogers’ chicken” button I have somewhere. And it’s good they are basing this on Van Slyke’s mustache and not Brian Wilson’s beard. I don’t know if you’ve seen this guy. He’s a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, and his beard has been known to frighten grown people.

Rogers is a replacement for Kenny Loggins, so kudos to the Siskin folks for being able to make such a change. Attendees will be able to sing along to “Lady,” “Lucille” and “The Gambler.” I’m not sure if he does “Just Dropped In,” which got new life after “The Big Lebowski” came out. Right, Dude?

LISA: I love them all. Kenny (I can call him that since I spent the night with him) is one of my favorite singers.

Oh, and I have just discovered that Wilson’s beard has its own baseball card. That is pretty wild and woolly.

I’ll stick to the ’stache, but only through game day. When all is said and done, I still like being a girl. And the longer I study that mug shot, the more I’m convinced the mustache makes my butt look big.