I have no theological training. I once tried, unsuccessfully, to quote Scripture. "As the Bible tells us," I said earnestly in Sunday school, "with great power comes great responsibility."
Somebody whispered: "Um, Mark, I think that's a line from 'Spider-Man.' "
OK. I knew that.
In that same group recently we talked about one of the hottest topics of the winter, the zodiac. At issue: Whether people of faith should read horoscopes.
I decided to get more information before I stepped on my tongue again.
Once or twice a year a newspaper article goes viral. It happened a few weeks ago with a report that suggested the sun signs reflected in the daily horoscopes are out of whack. A Minnesota Planetarium Society astronomer noted that because the Earth wobbles on its axis, people who thought they were Scorpios, say, might actually be something else.
That spark of controversy ignited a Roman candle of indignation. Within hours, the story exploded. Some people - who perhaps hadn't thought about their sun sign for decades - were distraught, as if their personality had been surgically extracted. Here at the Times Free Press, we ran a reaction article on Page A1 with a graphic on the sun-sign shuffle.
Much of the conversation was tongue-in-cheek and happened without much input from people who study the heavens to try to find meaning in daily life - actual astrologers.
I was put in touch with Lilan Laishley, a Chattanooga-area astrologer with a doctorate in religious studies. Laishley teaches college courses in theology and has a counseling practice. She is experienced in plotting astrological charts. Interestingly, she also believes in God.
Laishley explained, as have other astrologers, that:
A. The Earth-wobbling reports are old news to astrologers - like 2,000 years old.
B. Most Western astrologers follow a branch of astrology that tracks the seasons and the sun, not the stars within constellations. Both systems are valid in their own way, she said, sort of like Macs and PCs. At the end of the day, though, nothing much has changed, she said.
What happened as a result of all this chatter, though, is a renewed interest in astrology.
I invited Laishley to meet with me one day to talk about religion and astrology. I assumed they were mutually exclusive beliefs, but she believes differently.
"All religions attempt to help people find their place in the world," Laishley said. "Religion addresses such issues as: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? What is my relationship with the rest of the world? And how can I be in the world with meaning? Astrology addresses these same issues."
Laishley believes that the Bible actually talks about astrology. She says that the book of Genesis notes the heavens were created "for signs and for seasons." She also believes the wise men, who followed a star to Bethlehem to see the newborn Jesus, were 1st-century astrologers.
Decide for yourself if these references have meaning. (I'm sure there are Scriptures that point another way, and I expect most of them will be in my e-mail by noon.)
Laishley says that the horoscopes in newspapers are just "the tip of the iceberg" when it comes to astrology. Who really believes that everybody in the world fits neatly into one of 12 personality types, she says.
Real astrological charts take into account not only the date of birth but also the place and time. Using three variables, each person's astrological chart is complex and unique, she said. She showed me an actual chart that looked like string art.
"The place of each person in the world is literally mapped out in their horoscope ..." she said.
People generally don't disagree with their charts, she said, which is either proof of the power of persuasion or powerful evidence that the heavens contain messages as part of the intelligent design of the universe.
I'm of two minds about all this.
But then I'm Gemini, sign of the twins.