published Thursday, July 14th, 2011

5 at 10: THE Open, THE World Cup and THE IRS

Sweet passports and Europhilia, the first three 5-at-10 entries are from across the pond. Pass the tea and biscuits and hang on.

From the "7-Up Stinks Studios," here we go...

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    A grounds crew member prepares a green on the course in preparation for the British Open golf championship at the Royal St George's Golf Club in Sandwich, England, Wednesday, July 6, 2011. The Open Championship is to be held on July 14-17. (AP Photo/Sang Tan)

THE Open Championship

THE Open Championship is right behind The Masters on the 5-at-10's list of favorite golf tournaments. That's just how it is and how it will be.

The rolling hills and random bunkers. The gigantor greens that are part ski slaloms and part parking lot. The wind, oh dear lord, the whipping wind that if it's helping turns a 240-yard par 3 into a soft 7-iron or if it's hurting makes the game's best players stand on a 4-iron from 182.

There's a lot to like about THE Open — even their terms are more golfing: A good drive elicits a "Lovely" from a spectator at THE Open; A good drive anywhere else save Augusta draws a "Get in the hole," or "You da man." There's the challenge of the unexpected bounces and turns. There's the untenable lies in unforgiving bunkers — in fact Aaron Baddley had to play a bunker shot left-handed this morning. There's the fashion statements — be it Ian Poulter's style or John Daly's hunter's safety orange toboggan. Good times all around.

One down side of THE Open: Listening to the TV commentators (Yes, we're looking at you Scott Van Pelt) slide into their best British accents. Be it intentional or accidental, it's not good. At all. In fact, this is the only sporting event that draws that strange phenomenon. Think about it — were the guys doing the play-by-play at the Women's World Cup in German dressed in lederhosen and saying "Danka" and "Bereitschaft?" The answer, thankfully, was "Nein."

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    South Africa's Ernie Els watches as Northern Ireland's Rory McIlroy hits a shot off the 1st tee during the first day of the British Open Golf Championship at Royal St George's golf course Sandwich, England, Thursday, July 14, 2011. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)

THE Contest

Here are the updated entries for the "THE Open Championship contest that is so snobby we use all caps on THE THE just like THE Ohio State University." Good luck to all.

EC — McIlroy, Westwood, Schwartzel, Kaymer and Oosthuizen

BIspy — Rory McIlroy, Steve Striker, Luke Donald, Jason Day, Jerry Kelly

SportTalk's Dr. B (he's a doctor after all) — Westwood, McIlroy, Paul Casey, J. Rose, Donald

SportTalk's Cowboy Joe (he's a cowboy after all) — Westwood, McIlroy, Donald, Sergio Garcia, Graeme McDowell

SportTalk's Quake — McIlroy, Westwood, Graeme McDowell, Martin Kaymer, Donald

McPell — McIlroy, Westwood, Luke Donald, Martin Kaymer, & Sergio Garcia

CelticVol — Steve Stricker, Justin Rose, Miguel Jimenez, Lee Westwood, Paul Casey

TFP golf writer David Uchiyama — Rory McIlroy, Luke Donald, Lee Westwood, Martin Kaymer, Padraig Harrington

TFP UT beat writer Patrick Brown — Rory, Westwood, Stricker, Donald, Quiros

5-at-10 — Rory, Westwood, Donald, Mickelson, Jeff Overton

Mrs. 5-at-10 — Rory, Ryan Moore, Rickie Fowler, Luke Donald, Phil Mickelson

33wannabe — Donald, Kaymer, Westwood, Rory, McDowell

Tiger — Stricker, Donald, Garcia, Mickelson, Westwood

Believer — MA Jimenez, Westwood, Mickelson, Donald, Garcia

ShanksforNothing (Sidenote: Great name) — Rory, Donald, Fowler, Mickelson, Westwood

FiredUp — Ricky Fowler, Rory, Poulter, Westwood, Anthony Kim

Tom — Donald, Westwood, McDowell, Rory, Storm

Prowler — Snedeker, Mickelson, Stricker, Moore, Fowler

JordanRules — Jimenez, Sergio, Rory, Mickelson, Westwood

Swinging — Ryan Palmer, Mickelson, Donald, Sergio, Westwood

Weena (Chicks dig the long ball) — Angel Cabrera, Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Quiros, John Daly

OTwatcher — Mickelson, Rory, Kuchar, Martin Laird, Luke Donald

ThatIDoKnow — Sean O'Hair, Mickelson, Rory, Lee Westwood, Ian Poulter

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    US fans celebrate after their team won 3-1 the semifinal match between France and the United States at the Women’s Soccer World Cup in Moenchengladbach, Germany, Wednesday, July 13, 2011. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner)

THE World Cup

OK, we'll admit it. The 5-at-10 was late to the Women's World Cup party. OK, we're sorry. Glad that's behind us.

That said, the run to Sunday's championship by the Americans has been awesome in its awesomeness. In fact, the overall experience has been greatly entertaining — be it the dramatic tying goal in the quarterfinals or the spirited dominance in the semifinal win over France.

While it is not a complete stretch to say the 5-at-10 would have a tough time distinguishing between the finer points of soccer and a sockhop, the passion and energy and emotion that are driving Team USA are infectious and inspiring. And you know, that's more than enough.

Isn't that what makes for truly enjoyable sporting experiences? Be it high school football or World Cup soccer, emotion and pressure and stakes and skill set a stage for great sporting moments — and how players and coaches handle those moments determine success in all cases and can even define them as competitors.

Certainly winning cures a lot of ills, but competing and excelling, regardless of the score, has merit, too. And when you merge the two — like the U.S. women have — that's when legends can be forged.

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    New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter hits an RBI single off of Cleveland Indians' Chad Durbin in the eighth inning of a baseball game Sunday, June 12, 2011, in New York. Jeter hit two RBI singles during the Yankees' 9-1. (AP Photo/Kathy Kmonicek)

THE This and that

— Christian Lopez, the Yankees fan who caught Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit and returned it asking only for a handshake and an autograph, continues to reap the rewards of doing a good deed for the right reason. The Yankees rewarded Lopez's gesture with four tickets to every game for the rest of the season plus a bevy of Jeter memorabilia. After rumors of possible IRS implications of Lopez, Miller High Life has pledged to pay the tax bills. In answer to the stories about Lopez and his six-figure student loans, two sponsors of the Yankees have pledge $25,000 each to help Lopez. Well played all around gang.

— The fallout continues from Steelers linebacker James Harrison's explosive interview in "Men's Journal" in which he ripped NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and a couple of Pittsburgh teammates. While Harrison has already called play No. 1 in the spin control — allegedly he told Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, who Harrison ripped, that the writer took his comments out of context — here are two quick questions: One, how can Goodell be both a "dictator" and a "puppet" as Harrison claims; two, if things are so bad James, just walk away from your six-year, $51.175 million contract. We're sure a man with your "communication" skills can find a comparable job in any number of fields.

— NFL superstar quarterbacks Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees (who could possibly be referred to a as a friend of the 5-at-10; we did have dinner together at the Best of Preps banquet and all — let's just move on) issued a statement that the time has come to settle the NFL labor issues. Uh, you think?

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    Auburn coach Gene Chizik helps the referees in the first half of Auburn's spring NCAA college football game. (AP Photo/Todd J. Van Emst)

THE question

A story in the New York Times detailed an interesting exchange between Auburn football coach Gene Chizik and Julie Roe Lach, the N.C.A.A.’s vice president for enforcement, at the SEC meetings in Destin, Fla. Read it HERE.

After Roe Lach made her presentation, she asked if there were any questions. Chizik asked her several questions, according to several SEC basketball coaches that were in the meeting and shared the discussion with NY Times reporter Pete Thamel. Chizik continued to ask questions that centered around the NCAA investigation of Cam Newton and Auburn last fall. Apparently Chizik followed up a couple of times, asking Roe Lach when the NCAA was going to publicly announce that the investigation was completed.

“You’ll know when we’re finished,” Roe Lach said to Chizik, according to hoops coaches who talked to Thamel. “And we’re not finished.”

Whoa. Ok, question time: Of USC (which has already received its sentence), THE Ohio State University, Oregon, Auburn (since the NCAA investigation is obviously not completed) and North Carolina, rank these five in regard to the depths of where they will land in the NCAA doghouse. Whichever program you think will get the most NCAA penalties, rank them first, and go from there. Discuss.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Eustice_Chase said...

Ok so with all the "across the pond" talk Mr. 5@10 left out the biggest story here on the main land...but you knew that already..didn't you...and you are leaving it up to me to inform the people...well shame on you and thank you all at here it is... UFC 133 was saved last night... The Main Event of Rashad Evans vs Phil Davis was briefly canceled because of an injury suffered by Davis...Well guess who Stepped up...The Hunnington Beach Bad Boy Tito Ortiz...12 days removed from his beat down of 7th Ranked Light Hvyweight Ryan Bader...Tito Ortiz vs Rashad Evans will now headline UFC 133 on August 6...Anybody find it funny that after his UFC 132 victory..Tito Called out Rashad? About avenging the UFC 73 bout between Ortiz and Evans that ended in a Draw because Ortiz was deducted a point for grabbing the fence??? had the point not been deducted..Ortiz would have won..can we say "ask and ye shall receive?"...Its a good day to be a Tito Ortiz fan..

July 14, 2011 at 10:47 a.m.
BIspy4 said...

More annoying ...

Commentators slipping into false British accents at The Open (and if you've never heard the Drive-By Truckers "Outfit" ... well, it's one of the BISpy4's all time faves).

The local TV sportscaster using the word "nil" in giving a soccer score where one team failed to post at least one goal (which, in soccer, happens A lot).

The ESPYs.

I await your cogent and searing analysis, oh great 5.

July 14, 2011 at 11:31 a.m.
eljefe said...

O.k. A few things: 1. since I may have unintentionally offended him with some "rassling" comments I made I want to acknowledge EC on the "Man, that Hope Solo sure is purdy band wagon." 2. The "drama" of women's soccer is its unpredictability. Many times in both semi-final matches there were moments (like France's only goal) where you had to shake your head in disbelief. After that, the perfectly executed cross and "header" for the US to take the lead was amazing. Strange to think the "world's best" were involved in both plays on such opposite sides of the spectrum. 3. THE Open Challenge: I did not pick. I intentionally did not pick. The only thing I know about golf is Tiger (Excuse me, Eldrick) is not playing and most players wear funny pants. Put me down for the 400 I would have scored anyway! Where can I pick up my Turtle Wax? Finally, todays question: I personally think it should be, "Other than Clemens' Trial,is there anything on ESPN I care about less about than the ESPY's? Part deux: What the heck fire (family show) is wrong with Brian Wilson? sub a. Does he realize there is a fine line between "colorful" and "tool box?"

July 14, 2011 at 12:01 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Breaking NEWS: Judge declares mistrail in Clemens case. Yay. Boo. Moving on...

EC —

Speaking as someone who could not point out Tino Ortiz from a Tino's pizza, thanks for the MMA update. Legit MMA question here: That turnaround time seems pretty quick. If Tino gets messed up would there be repercussions from letting him fight so quickly?

BIspy —

Annoying in order:

1) Congress spending time/money talking about college football playoffs and or steroids. The country is broken, fix that. then we'll get to No. 12,345,678 on your governmental "Honey-Do" list and fix sports.

2) ESPYs

3) British accents during British telecasts (somebody who watches tennis — nerd — does this happen during Wimbledon?)

4) We're going to give local TV guys a pass because those folks are just trying to make a living, and while the playing/coaching/owning side of sports is quite lucrative, the sports media side is less so. By a lot.

Jefe —

First off, any time we can have a 5-at-10 and the phrase "tool box" is used coorectly, then our lives are better off. Second, we missed you in the challenge, but we respect your decision to abstain — abstinence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

As for Brian Wilson, whoa, that dude's cracked. Did he really have on the faux tuxedo shirt last night? Wow. Dude, the beard is one thing, but raiding Urkel's closet is beyond the line.

And great call on the soccer. After this weekend, the 5-at-10 will go back to ignoring soccer like the rest of America, but for the next 72 hours... ... U-S-A, U-S-A.

— 5-at-10

July 14, 2011 at 12:15 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Great Legit MMA question and to answer your question about Tito..very short turn around...but these fighters go through extensive medical checkups post and pre fight...The fighters also have to gain clearance from the Respective State Atheltic Commission to participate in any repercussion because they are crossing every t and dotting all lower case j's.. in the case that a fighter suffers an injury they serve a medical suspension and are forbidden to train...or compete without going thru the proper channel...very legit this MMA stuff...very...but not legit enough to grace the TFP..huh??? maybe next year... Jefe- no offense taken sir...we are gentlemen here participating a gentleman's discussion...but that Hope Solo just pushes all the right buttons for me (also reminds of the misses with the dark hair and blue eyes...insert brownie points here)and Im glad im not the only one.... Sunday @2pm I will be planted in front of the Tube...and its Summer time...thats huge! I dont submerge my roots in front of the TV until late August....(extract brownie points)

the ESPY's were on last night ?? and I missed it? Was Erin Andrews there ??? ahh...still dont care...perhaps I can catch one of the 38 replays...if im lucky

Brian from another planet...and baseball needs characters like my opinion...did anyone see his NL batting order intro for the all-star game ?? The 366 day old Beard + Brian Wilson= Winning

July 14, 2011 at 12:29 p.m.
bigbearzzz said... work junk goin on today...i know imagine that?!?! They think were actually supposed to work while were at work?!?! whats that about!?

The ESPY's....ill never get that 5 minutes back that i wasted watching what little bit i did. Athletes tryin to do humor with actors is ugly...simply put...UGLY. Women's Soccer...agh....thats about it.

Clements were right Cinco...this is the slowest week in sports and its getting more brutal. Whats next? An article on Bonds and the steroid scandal rocking the basball community?!

Across the pond...there are people with cool accents and thats about all i know about that. Sry....dont follow golf much.

In closing....SATURDAY IS GONNA ROCK!!! Have a nice day everybody.

July 14, 2011 at 12:41 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Good point about baseball needing characters, and closers have carte blanche to be as "colorful" as they want — and our man Brian is definitely taking full liberty. (Sidenote: If your shortstop shows up in that get-up, you got problems.)

Thanks for the MMA education.

Oso —

Don't go crazy on that work thing. Did you see who is putting on a concert at Turner Field on Saturday night after the Braves' game — which you won tickets for from your friendly neighborhood family-oriented, Web-based sports column? That's right the B-52s.

"Love Shack, Baby!"

— 5-at-10

July 14, 2011 at 1:33 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Oso- Enjoy yourself Saturday..and more importantly make sure then entire Bear Family has one hum-dinger of a time!

Im gonna get off my MMA soapbox for a minute and talk about some really important issues... Roger Clemens...and thats all I have to say about that... so moving on to the next most important issue..the NFL quote Bree's Manning and Brady, "the time has come to settle the NFL labor issues"...the first thought I have is...are they just now coming to this conclusion ? 2nd thought is...did they each file seperate statements that mirrored one anothers? or did they all get together in a secrect underground quarterback clubhouse and issue this statement together...if so then I think they could have chosen some stronger words to use...anyways..if the NFL doesnt start on time...then I will have a hard time tunning in...Can someone get Bud Selig on the phone...he is a labor issue genius !

So I am getting back on my soapbox...with a win on August 6th Tito Ortiz coud very well bu the #1 contender for the UFC Light Heavyweight title...which would be a huge story considering just a few months ago he was told by Dana White...that if he did not accept his next fight and win in impressive fashion..he would be that escalated in a hurry !

July 14, 2011 at 1:34 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Did the folks at Chase Field chastise Heath Bell for not getting the divot mix out after he pulled a me with a sand wedge from the fairway sliding near the pitcher's mound? He dug up enough turf to build a condo on.

And one of the best things at the Jim Rome Show is when Jay Mohr guest hosts. Mohr said Shawn Kemp Jr., one of many, who was academically ineligible at Auburn and Alabama but will be the new starting power forward at the University of Washington. Mr. Mohr is having a field day with that one.

July 14, 2011 at 1:39 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Spot on with the well-wishes for Oso and the Oso clan (or is it pack?) come Saturday. May the Braves win, may you catch a foul ball — and not fall while doing it — and may the heat index be under 1,200 degrees.

It's official: Tino Ortiz is the 5-at-10's favorite MMAer. Any athlete faced with the win-or-find-a-real-job proposition that delivers gets a big-time tip of the cap.

As far as Clemens goes, if we all pretend he doesn't exist can that make him disappear?

BIspy —

If Sir Nick Faldo was doing the All-Star game (and he can have a British accent during the broadcast, thank you very much) he would have said, "Oohhh. Heath Bell caught that one a little thick."

"He's the Cinderella boy — tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, he's got about a — its looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now — about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!"

And this particular Shawn Kemp Jr. was from Cherokee County, correct? Hey not everybody can get into Auburn or Alabama. "World needs ditch-diggers, too."

— 5-at-10

July 14, 2011 at 1:55 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Are we now allowed to discuss Roger Clemens worthyness for th HOF ??? or lack their of ? and! How long is the line to pay for Brian McNamee's services ???

so what am I hearing about oa hole in one on the 16th ??? please tell me its true !!!

July 14, 2011 at 2:07 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

and to answer your question..i feel

The Number 1 spot will go to The Ohio State, Followed by The USC, The Oregon and The North Carolina...Auburn is still a mystery...but if they were convicted of a pay for play deal...well they would be right up there with The USC

July 14, 2011 at 2:30 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

Thank you everybody for the well wishes on Saturday. Yes heard about the B52's! Just goes to show the level of awesomeness that the Cinco a laz Diez goes to when its time to deliver. Well played good sir....well played indeed! And i need to make a sign that reads "I won my tickets on the Five @ Ten "name of the draft" Draft contest!" Cant remember the name of the draft that we threw on that....need that to put on the sign!

July 14, 2011 at 2:44 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Fair question about the Clemens and the HoF. It will be interesting to see how Clemens and in some degree Bonds will be treaty by the voters. The only names with HoF numbers that have been black-listed for steroids so far have been guys that admitted to steroids. It may be time for a refresher course:

NCAA — tell the truth as soon as possible

Steroids — (first of all, don't do it) stammer and hee and haw but never admit to it.

Our list is THE Ohio State, USC, North Carolina, Oregon and then Auburn — with the same caveat that this list is on what we know currently.

— 5-at-10

July 14, 2011 at 2:45 p.m.
chas9 said...

5@10--Right on about local yokels saying "nil" to mean zero. And they screw up that big bike race, too. They could just translate it to "Tour of France" or "French Tour" and pronounce it regular American-like. But, no. "Tour" is the same in French or American English. But then most of 'em pronounce "de" the French way, and then "France" the American way.

July 14, 2011 at 3:54 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Nothing says baseball like Fred Schneider in his hot pants, Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson singing "Rock Lobster." Gotta admit. Love Kate Pierson's voice. Her collaboration with Iggy Pop on "Candy" remains one of my favorites.

Yes, EC, Erin Andrews (who wore a Red Sox cap during the celebrity (?) softball game aired after the home run derby) was there at the ESPYs, handling red carpet interviews. Didn't get to see if it got awkward between her and Aaron Rodgers because, well, you know....

Hope you get a good place to park Saturday, Oso.

July 14, 2011 at 4:27 p.m.
Livn4life said...

Regarding the Auburn Gene Chizik Julie Whatzernames' exchange. In the words of the evil flight attendant on the movie Flight Plan where the girl and a guy had tricked Jody Foster, trying to make Foster believe she had not brought her young daughter on the flight. When Foster began figuring things out the evil flight attendant stated emphatically "Gene, she knows!" Perhaps the same may be said of Julie Whatzernames regarding the Cam Newton, Auburn matters.

July 14, 2011 at 6:04 p.m.
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