published Friday, June 24th, 2011

5 at 10: Friday mailbag

Let's get to the Mailbag. From the "7-Up Stinks Studios," here we go...

From Weena

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    NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver, left, poses with No. 35 overall draft pick, UCLA's Tyler Honeycutt, who was selected by the Sacramento Kings in the NBA basketball draft Thursday, June 23, 2011, in Newark, N.J. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

Dude, how about those suits? Better than expected, huh? What's the final verdict?


Well, here we go, and let's just say we feel a little silly from this point forward.

The 5-at-10 loves the draft. You know this. But this was a strange NBA draft. Just strange. There was the foreign guy named Jan making out with his girlfriend/significant other after getting picked by the Wizards. Kenneth Faried jumped up when Denver picked him and handed somebody the baby he was holding. Seriously. And every time any of the draftees put on the hats of the teams that just made them millionaires, they looked down right silly. When did we get to the flat-bill stage of hats and when do we get to leave?

The worst outfit was the sweater/funky hat combo that Jimmer Fredette wore sitting behind the drums in the ESPN clips with Kemba Walker that took us to commercial. But sadly, that ensemble does not count.

First things first for our "The Chas9 Feeling the Draft Free-for-All" contest: Most first-round picks by conference — the Big 12 and all other countries each had six. (The Big Ten had one player picked. Wow. SEC — 2, ACC — 5, Pac 10 — 3, Big East — 3, All other conferences — 4.) So everyone who had the Big 12 and all other countries goes into the tie-breaker rounds.

Best suit — It was between Derrick Williams and Kemba Walker. Walker's grey suit-shoes combo was sharp — and there's no doubting he's the coolest guy in the room. Williams, however, had on a power suit and a power, red tie. You stay classy, Derrick Williams, but cool rules. Walker by a nose.

Worst suit — Kawhi Leonard edged Brandon Knight, Jimmer (Suit was OK, but checkered shirt was an eye sore), Markeith and Marcus Morris (Again, the suits were OK, but the side items were awful. What was that thing coming out of their jacket pockets? It looked like a napkin caught the working end of an M-80.) Leonard's black velvet-y looking disaster with the white outline around the lapel was the Sex Panther of Thursday's festivities. (Sixty percent of the time — it works every time. It's made with bits of real panther so you know it's good.)

The results of "The Chas9 Feeling the Draft Free-for-All" ..... The winner — Oso edges ThatIDoKnow, McPell and EC, who correctly picked that each of the Morris brothers would be a fashion faux pas. Bonus points for Weena — who accurately picked the 5-at-10 for worst suit (we had on cut-off khaki shorts).

Sweet Mother of Irony, does this mean perennial runner-up Oso and Kemba finally get to win something together? Yes, yes it does. Well played indeed.

From Celtic Vol

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    Although he had his 715th career homer minutes, Atlanta Braves superstar Henry Aaron sat with Braves skipper Eddie Matthews in dugout at Atlanta Stadium, April 9, 1974. Aaron hit his homer in fourth inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Dodger southpaw Al Downing served up the historic pitch. (AP Photo/Charles Kelly)

Hey 5@10,

I got two questions for you this week. Who do you consider to be the greatest Brave of all-time, excluding Hank Aaron and Dan Uggla? Who do you consider to be the most famous fan/celebrity of all-time?

Well, since you took Dan Uggla out of the equation, that's tough. We'll give it a shot, though.

Best "Braves" player of all-time not named Hank Aaron is probably between Eddie Matthews and Warren Spahn. Matthews hit 512 homers in the days that 512 homers was a truckload of homers. Spahn won 363 games — more than any other left-hander ever — was a 17-time all-star, had an awesomely high leg kick and big-time schnoz (one of those noses that you can't help but stare at until you realize your staring so you stop looking then you realize your not looking at the person in the face so then you look and the next thing you know you're staring at their nose again and the cycle repeats).

But each of those guys spent most of their careers as Milwaukee Braves. As far as Atlanta Braves, well, that's a little more muddled. It's not Mike Lum or Roland Office or Pepe Frias. It's not Rick Camp or Rick Mahler or Rick McMurtry or any other less-than-good pitchers named Rick (sadly Rick Knapp, Rick Reuschel and Rick Aguilera never pitched for those awful 1970s and 80s Braves teams or they could be on the NOT list, too).

The only player that gets a look from the pre-1990s Braves is Dale Murphy, who not only was a possible First Team All-Tim Duncan pick (the team of stars that never got their due because they played on small-market teams and/or rarely made the big stage of the postseason) but an all-around good dude that was a two-time NL MVP.

That said, we'll take Chipper Jones as the best Atlanta Braves position player and Greg Maddux as the best Atlanta Braves pitcher (it was close with John Smoltz, but Maddux was so awesome and was never injured).

As far as the celebrity goes, well that one's a little tougher. First, Braves games are never going to be confused with Lakers games for fans in the stands. Plus, with Atlanta becoming a hot spot for rap music about the time the Braves started to become good, it's hard to know if the likes of Usher and Hammer and Ludacris and T.I. and those folks are wearing Braves' hats because they are fans or because they are showing love for the ATL.

We'll go with Dale Earnhardt, who was a huge Braves fan before his death and became very close with Bobby Cox. Jeff Foxworthy was a close second, but we have a feeling someone may come up with a celeb that makes us go, "Oh yeah, that's it. We're stupid."

Great question.

From SteelerFan

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    Staff File Photo by Tim Barber/Chattanooga Times Free Press Lookouts' owner Frank Burke sits in right field with an oversize glove during a game against the Birmingham Barons. "I do it for luck," said Burke.

I see that the Lookouts are having a contest for fans to come up with the final AT&T Field promotion of the season. I don’t know what it WILL be, but I do know some things that it WON’T be.

Top 10 Rejected Lookouts Promotions

10) Bloods vs. Crips softball game

9) Ferrets on the Diamond Day

8) Hard Liquor and Handgun Night

7) Dancing with the Stars: Myron Noodleman edition

6) Catch-A-Broken-Bat-With-Your-Teeth night

5) Take-a-ZOOperstar-to-Church Day

4) Redneck Bidnessman’s Special

3) Stolen Car Giveway Night

2) Smokeless Tobacco Kids’ Club

1) Tommy Lasorda’s Linguine Luau

Outstanding list SteelerFan. This was not sent in as a question, but we felt we had to share with the group.

Anybody got any others feel free to share. Here is our next Top 5 of rejected Lookouts promotions:

  1. Shave your back night

  2. First 500 fans wearing Speedos and Viking helmets get in free

  3. More Jorts; more fun

  4. Lucky fans gets to be the Trash Monster for a day giveway

  5. Learn-to-scratch-and-spit-like-a-major-leaguer night

From JordanRules

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    Miami Heat's LeBron James (6) and Dwyane Wade (3) walk off the court after Game 4 of the NBA Finals basketball game against the Dallas Mavericks Tuesday, June 7, 2011, in Dallas. The Mavericks won the game 86-83 to tie the series at 2-2. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Told you.

Told you that LeBron would choke.

Told you that the Mavs would win. And now maybe you and the rest of the James worshipers will see he'll never be MJ or anything close. He's not even as good as Dirk, who is light years from MJ.

Told you.

So, what you're saying is that you told us. Got it. Calm down, Francis, and step away from the life-size MJ poster.

Yes, LeBron's rep took a serious hit with his Finals fiasco. But let's not act like he's a reserve. And in regard to the MJ talk, the 5-at-10 never said LeBron or anyone was better than MJ, who was an elite athlete who transformed his game (he became a great shooter) because he was the world's most intense competitor. MJ sort of did the reverse career arc that it appears Tiger Woods has taken, but that's a conversation for another day.

As for LeBron, well, he has to find a go-to offensive option. Be it a post-up move or a spot on the floor that he can shoot 50-percent or better.

But as good as Dirk Nowitzki was in the Finals, if you think Mark Cuban (and the rest of the league for that matter) wouldn't trade Dirk and the rights to his next three first-round picks and his first born for LeBron, well, that's silly.

We don't think this loss (even as badly as LeBron played at times) will define his career. How this loss affects LeBron as a player and as a person will define his career.

From Thomas

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    Mississippi State coach Sylvester Croom celebrates with the Egg Bowl Trophy, given to the winner of the Ole Miss vs Mississippi State game each year. (AP Photo/Jim Lytle)

You asked earlier this which individual award would you like to win. (I'd take the Olympic gold medal, FWIW.) What do think the most meaningless award in sports is?

Thanks, and enjoy the 5-at-10.


Thanks for the question and feel free to come back any time. We like to think that our little group is like the Wally's buffet in East Ridge — just when you think you're full, there's always room for more here at the 5-at-10.

There are a lot of cool awards in sports and more "meaningless" awards than you may think. Masters' green jacket — cool; the gold jacket that Shooter McGavin was aiming for in "Happy Gilmore" or the plaid jacket at the Hilton Head tournament — not that cool. You get the idea.

There are also a lot of awards that we have no idea what they are. The Lady Bing Trophy comes to mind. So does the Platypus trophy, which is given to the annual winner of the Oregon-Oregon State football game.

As far as a truly significant honor that has been rendered meaningless, we'll go with being a starter in the MLB all-star game. This is not a debate on fan voting; that's a discussion for next week with the all-star game on the horizon. No, this is just to say that other than being flattered, if you're Derek Jeter, being voted as the AL starter this year is borderline embarrassing and would seem somewhat hollow.

So it goes.

Until Monday.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Eustice_Chase said...

For the love of Chaz Reinhold's Mother's Meatloaf, how can you not mention The Crime Dog...Fred McGriff...when you mention Best Atlanta Braves of all here is my list of Best Braves Not Named Henry, Eddie, Larry or Dale...

10- Jeff Blauser nobody threw the ball over the 1B's head quite like ol Jeff

9-Gerald meets Right Field

8- Mark Wohlers..high and to the right....

7- Lonnie Smith/ Otis Nixon (its a tie)

6- Swift Footed Sid Bream

5- Dave Justice..ROY Winner and Married Hallie Berry..enough said

4- Fransisco Cabrera..drove in Sid Bream to reach the post season

3- Kent Mercker...what a mullet!!!

2- Ronnie Gant..first 30/30 Man in Braves History

1- Prime Time, Neon Deon, ...Deon Sanders

Ok so twice in two weeks I have been so close to winning Braves tickets...and twice in two weeks I have lost them... this is pure madness!!! Thank you 5@10...and Thank You Sport Talk..for robbing me... ok so lats night instead of watching what was possibly the most boring draft ever...i watched a Sept 21 2001 Braves @ Mets in Shea Stadium...if Piazza's 2 Run..Go Ahead Homerun in the Bottom of the 8th wasnt the biggest chicken skin Moment in NY Met baseball history...i dont know what is...i stood up and said the pledge of allegance while playing my Toby Keith Record collection as loud as possible...good times!!!

June 24, 2011 at 10:23 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

ok so Im not sure why that is so darn big....i do apologize

June 24, 2011 at 10:24 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

My is really dusty in here today! I would like to thank my man...Kemba...for sticking with me during the rough times of coming in second, and third. Patience does pay off and so does persistance. I knew KW wouldnt let me down....again. Love the Wally's (ER) buffet reference, wouldnt mind me some fried chicken and yeast rolls right about now. Steerlers list was awesome in its awesomeness and i have to have your back on this never said LeChoke James was MJ...never that i remember and at my age its hard to remembe...what were we talking about? OH! And remember me stating several months ago how I've never been to a Braves game?!! Can i check that one off of my bucket list?!?!

And I'm really struggling to ignore the obvious "That's what he said" line above....Thank you EC for that one....

June 24, 2011 at 10:27 a.m.
patrickd said...

Congrats bigbearzzz.

June 24, 2011 at 10:41 a.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Great list, that was made greater BY SHOUTING IT. Well played.

Quick question, if you're Dave Justice and you cheat on Halle Berry, where does that rank in the worst calls of all-time? Like wow, man. Did you think there was something better out there? Really? It may not be as dumb as the guy who hosted the first season of American Idol, held out for more money, then was replaced by Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest only used that break to become this generation's supercharged DJ to the stars, a combo of Wolfman Jack/Dick Clark/Casey Kasem (who was the voice of Shaggy on the Scooby Do cartoons).

Gotta say, surprised Lonnie Smith made it after his base-running blunder in the 1991 World Series kind of cost the Braves the title that year. So it goes.

Deion gets to make any all-time Braves list for two reasons:

1) He's Deion

2) He threw the water on that windbag McCarver. Well played indeed.

(Great line about the Toby Keith records, by the way).

Oso —

We're all celebrating for you. And the fact that Kemba was able to bring it home for you was even sweeter. The lesson as always: Keep the faith. And don't do drugs.

— 5-at-10

June 24, 2011 at 11:32 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

Thats pretty close to the top...i mean like thats right there next to the moron dude who reached over and tried to catch the foul ball for the Cubs that cost them the series bad call. And what firend let him do it!!? What buddy went "Yeah Halle aint aaaallll dat!" And just to point out...i got put in timeout last week for using all caps and i didnt even go all Bold with All Caps with a 28 Times Roman Font....not sayin...just sayin.

June 24, 2011 at 11:40 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

As far as cheating on Hallie Berry...thats like Reggie Bush breaking it off with Kim K.... lets get real...note to all men...athletes and athletic supporters...if you find a woman that is out of your league by miles...and they love you anyways...dont mess it up!!!

Moving on...the ONLY reason Lonnie Smith made because as a young EC I got an Upper Deck baseball card of Lonnie Smith rounding third and LAUNCHING HIMSELF into Phillies Catcher Darren Dalton....this was my favorite baseball card of all time...worth its weight in gold to any Phillie hater....

I am going to exercise the option to not comment on any Ryan Secreast related material...unlike the Nationals...who did not exercise the option for Coach option for the newly unemployed Wriggleman??? The Marlins need a Coach..and ever since Chris Brown laid hands on Rhianna..Doublemint needs a new Spokesman..... was clearly an accident using the large font..i have no idea how it happened!!

June 24, 2011 at 11:56 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...

I know EC...or at least were gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. Ok, so i need suggestions: I wasnt even thinkin about it till Cinco mentioned it earlier this week. I of course have to take the kids to the Varsity while were there...any other ideas? Do and Donts for a Braves Game? I'll take all the suggestions i can get...

June 24, 2011 at 12:36 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Oso —

As of right now, the game on the 16th is scheduled for 7 p.m. I hear the aquarium is pretty awesome (not to offend the fine folks downtown here, but you know).

As for the "ALL-CAP" timeout, well, if you were in real trouble, we make you hang out with JordanRules for the rest of the evening. (Kidding JordanRules — mostly. Kidding.)


Deal on the Lonnie Smith baseball card. Wow, haven't thought about favorite baseball cards in ages.

We loved the Oscar Gamble card with the HUGE afro following under his hat. There was a bunch of cards that had mistakes — like Bump Willis hitting righthanded when he was lefty, guys in wrong uniforms, etc. There was a Glenn Hubbard card with a snake around his neck. Loved the old Dave Parker cards because he was such a stud.

Wow, Coach Riggleman... That escalated in a hurry, huh? Yeah the pitching coach killed a guy. You may wanted to lay low for a while because you may be wanted for murder.

— 5-at-10

June 24, 2011 at 1:13 p.m.
CVOL said...

Hey Eustice, you can't forget about Ozzie Virgil and the beard.

June 24, 2011 at 1:13 p.m.
jgreeson said...

CVol —

Ozzie Virgil's beard scared small children. It's hard to believe that the stability that Javy Lopez and now Brian McCann have given the Braves. Think back to that dreadful run of catchers from Biff Pocoroba to Bruce Benedict to Ozzie Virgil to Greg Olson to Damon Berryhill to .... just make it stop.

— 5-at-10

June 24, 2011 at 1:47 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

C-Vol -Yes Ozzie could I have forgotten...oh I know Because he was a PHILLIE! I'm sorry guys...i live by 3 rules... You dont stare down the Barrell of a gun, You dont pee in the Wind and you do not cheer for the Phillies (past or present).... thats it!

J-Bacon-Greeson, you make a great point about Catchers...those were some tough years before the Braves got a stud behind the plate...lets just hope it doesnt stop at McCann....

Oso- there are coupons available for a Buy One Get One Free Turner Field Tour... at50% off it sounds like a unbeatable price...

June 24, 2011 at 2:42 p.m.
chas9 said...

Told ya Jimmer was a fashion train wreck about to happen. And the other ugly sweater wearing Jimma was/is a great Braves fan/celeb, if you count Presidents as celebs. There's no arguing: Spahn for Braves, Mad Dog for Atlanta Braves. We know who the Braves most underperforming infielder of all times is. Who's their most underperforming outfielder? There have been so many.

June 24, 2011 at 2:53 p.m.
chas9 said...

In their day Ted and Jane got a lot of camera face time as celeb fans. Does a couple joined at the hip count as a single entry? Anybody got a Barbarella poster in fine condition for sale?

June 24, 2011 at 2:56 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC —

Respect your rules (Man's gotta have a code, after all), but where does that leave you with Dale Murphy?

And Oso, EC's right that the tour of Turner Field can be cool, especially if you've never been there before.

Chas9 —

Full points for calling Jimmer's fashion shortcomings. Not good. At all.

We're intrigued by your Braves question, but need some clarification: Do you mean underperforming as in there was some expectation of success but there's been little production (i.e. Uggla) or are you asking about a player that was just not performing at all and still was asked to play 150 games because the Braves had no other options? And each of those lists are full of potential answers.

That said, while Jane had some, shall we say assets, we're not a fan. Thanks but no thanks.

— 5-at-10

June 24, 2011 at 3:22 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Well... Dale Murphy is one of those interesting clauses in rule making...he was chasing number 400...hoping to punch his ticker to Cooperstown...sadly neither of those will happen...hes a good guy I am sure but leaving your go to a Division Rival...well thats like spitting in my face...and I dont take kidnly to being spat far as Dale Murphy goes..."Boo that man"

I might look differntly on this had I grew up watching Murphy...but I didnt..I grew up watching Gant, Justice, Sanders, Avery, Maddux,Smoltz Glavine, Jones,Lopez, etc etc

June 24, 2011 at 3:53 p.m.
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