published Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

5 at 10: NFL rules, NCAA hoops and 1980's rap

Remember that Friday is the mailbag, and there are still a few open spots available. OK, show-regular Bigbearzzz issued the "80's hip hop rap song quote day" challenge Tuesday. And, well, if you know anything about the 5-at-10, it's that we love a good challenge. (After completing this, the 5-at-10 can't believe we did not include some of the slam dunks of the 1980s, and we're embarrassed that Whodini is not included. So it goes. Great idea, Osograndeee, simply great.)

Here we go...

"They're plaaaaayyyyiiinnnnn, Bas-ket-ball" — Kurtis Blow

The Sweet 16 is complete for the men's and the women's NCAA tournaments.

There are four athletic programs that have teams in both: Ohio State, Duke, North Carolina and UConn.

Consider the 5-at-10 impressed.

Now let's go a step further and include football success, and it's easy to see that Ohio State may have the most successful and balanced athletic program around.

And please save that "Stanford has won the all-sports trophy in six of the last eight years," or whatever the numbers are. The NCAA all-sports trophy (it used to be the Sears Trophy) is a combined number of points for success in each sport, and Stanford and its Pac-10 brethren have like 245 sports.

In the high-profile sports, the power rankings start with Ohio State — that is until the NCAA gets their hands on Jim Tressel for his antics of the last 10-12 months. And if the NCAA doesn't turn its focus to Columbus pretty quickly now that the Bruce Pearl stuff has been settled, there will be a lot of folks in East Tennessee who will want some answers.

Rap song reference: As a youngster the 5-at-10 loved, Loved, LOVED the Kurtis Blow classic, and at that time "Basketball was my favorite sport, I liked the way they dribbled up and down the court."

"It takes two to make it outta sight" — Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

Carmelo and A'mare are struggling together in New York (The 5-at-10 almost picked, Sir Mix-A-Lot's "My Posse's on Broadway," but alas).

LeBron and D-Wade are plodding along, and the Heat have made progress and have not cried in the locker room in roughly a month.

It looks doubtful that either of those super-duos will be ready to hoist the title this spring and summer. As for the best duo in the NBA, sorry folks, but it's still in L.A., where Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol helped the Lakers survive three OTs last night in a win against Phoenix.

There may be better overall teams in San Antonio and/or Boston, but the best duo still is Bryant and Gasol — amazingly between the two they have been traded by the then-Charlotte Hornets, the Atlanta Hawks and the Memphis Grizzlies.

Rap song reference: This may be rap's all-time one-hit wonder. This song was through-the-roof popular, but the 5-at-10 asks if anyone knows another Rob Base and DJ Rock song? Yeah, us neither.

"Fight the power; fight the powers that be" — Public Enemy

Did you see the NFL rules committee changed the kickoff rule, allowing teams to kick off from the 35 and increasing the likelihood of touchbacks by a multiple of at least 2.

The rules committee said the change was done in an effort to increase player safety.

The 5-at-10 says "Hogwash."

If this was a move to improve player safety, then why was a move to improve the language about rules to clarify hits on "defenseless players," — a matter of real safety that happens throughout the game — tabled until an unannounced date.

If player safety is a concern, then why is there a labor stoppage that one of the big hang-ups is adding two games — a stipulation that will add more physical stress to every player, not just those on the kickoff teams.

Plus, the new kickoff rules may increase the number of high, lofted kickoffs that allow the coverage team to swarm the returners, which could create more dangerous situations for the returners.

No, the 5-at-10 believes the kickoff rule was a hidden move about rosters and expenses. The days of a third kicker as a kickoff specialist are now done. The days of paying a kickoff return specialist like Devin Hester, who now may get one kickoff return a game, are coming to an end.

Rap song reference: Saw Public Enemy in the Georgia Dome — they opened for U2 and it was an awesome, Awesome, AWESOME show, and PE was better than U2 that night. Chuck D was the man and that was before Flav-a-Flav became a reality TV cartoon character. As for the NFL labor dispute, there is no winner. And the great PE line, "Plymouth Rock landed on us," goes out to the NFL fans, who are wondering when football will return, and when it does now it will have fewer kickoff returns — which at times can rank among the most entertaining plays in game. Alas.

"The Fat Boys are back, and you know they can never be wack" — The Fat Boys

(Also known as Braves update, Volume 2, Chapter 3)

What has happened to the barrel-chested Atlanta Braves reliever? No Charlie Kerfield. No Terry Forster (that wonderful "fat tub of goo," as David Letterman called him.) No Juan Berenguer. In some ways that's sad.

Other than heft and maybe experience, though, this Braves bullpen looks pretty respectable and could be pretty special.

"Everyday" Johnny Venters has yet to allow a run this spring. You know what you're going to get from Peter Moylan, five or seven strong outings in a row and then one game that will be along the lines of: 1 IP, 3 H, 1 BB, 4 ER. Craig Kimbrel is going to be a star. The Scotties — Linebrink and Proctor — and George Sherrill may be the best middle relief options this club has had in a generation. This is a strong collection.

They just don't have a fat guy. Maybe reserve outfielder/first baseman Eric Hinske can pitch an inning or three — that wonderful fat tub of goo.

Rap song reference: How about those Fat Boys, huh? They had the huge, neon shoelaces. They had maybe the best human beatbox of all-time. They had a couple of huge albums. They even starred in the single worst movie of all-time — "The Disorderlies" — and this is not open for debate. Let's just keep going.

"L.L. I'm bad, and all the rappers know; when I enter the center, they say yo, yo there he goes," — L.L. Cool J from "I'm Bad"

(Also know as This and That)

— Derek Rose gets the "L.L., I'm bad" shout-out. (Side note: The 5-at-10 went through at least three cassettes of L.L.'s classic "Bigger and Deffer.") The 5-at-10 expected Rose, the former Memphis point guard, would be a star in the NBA, but dude is the best player on the planet right now. Wow. He went 30 points-10 assists in the Bulls' destruction of the Hawks last night. He's averaging 24-plus points, almost five rebounds and almost eight assists, plus his efficiency (a stat that calculates how your team does when you're on the court) is a staggering plus-22.69. For what it's worth, if Rose had stayed, he'd be a senior at Memphis this year.

— Eazy E said, "The boys in the 'hood are always hard." Barry Bonds' lawyer said he did not know he was taking steroids. Those are close to similar. Or not.

— Run-DMC supported "Myyyyy AAAAA-didas, walking on the hardwood floors." So does the University of Tennessee, which started spring practice Tuesday. (The 5-at-10 will start the Vols' position breakdown Thursday.)

— There are too many to name from the Beastie Boys' album of "License to Ill," which ranks with GnR's "Appetite for Destruction" atop the 5-at-10's top debut albums of all-time. So how about the NFL pro days? (A stretch, yes, but the 5-at-10 loves the draft. You know this.) A.J. Green showed out at Georgia's pro-day on Tuesday. Former Calhoun High star and Georgia receiver Kris Durham may have opened some eyes with a time in the 4.4s in the 40-year dash. (Side note: SportTalk's Dr. B — he is a doctor and all — and the 5-at-10 are in complete agreement that Patrick Peterson is the best player in this draft. Will he go first? Not likely. In three years, will we be asking, why did the Panthers pass on Patrick Peterson? You bectha.)

— We can't leave this morning without a tip of cap to "Rapper's Delight," the Sugarhill Gang classic that may have started it all. So here, we'll announce the tie-breaker for the Underrated/Overrated Bracket challenge. After much consideration, each of the teams tied for first needs to submit three players that combined score the most points in the next two rounds. In an effort to limit duplicate entries, you can select either Jimmer Fredette or Kimba Walker, but not both. And if there are duplicate entries, the first one received will get the tiebreaker edge, so either be quick or be creative.

Here are the people we need players from, and we have to have them by 5 p.m. Thursday. If anybody else wants to play, you're always welcome, it's a "Rapper's Delight," after all:

scole023 — Pitt/Tennessee

EC — Pitt/Georgia

Bigbearzzz — Pitt/Georgia

Pretend Al Davis — Pitt/Oakland

5-at-10 — Pitt/Wofford

BIspy4 — Pitt/Utah State

OTWatcher — Pitt/Old Dominion

ThatIdoKnow — Pitt/Missouri

Charlie S. — Pitt/Princeton

Chris Goforth from "The Show" on Fox 1310AM — Pitt/Belmont

Quake from SportTalk on 102.3 FM — Pitt/Belmont

Dr. B (He's a doctor after all) from SportTalk on 102.3 FM — Pitt/Utah State

Darrell Patterson, Channel 9 sports anchor — Pitt/Utah State

Until tomorrow.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
Eustice_Chase said...

So three players ehh?

How about The Morris Twins and Nolan Smith

March 23, 2011 at 10:49 a.m.
bigbearzzz said...


March 23, 2011 at 10:58 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

Well its like this, like that and like this and uh...What happened to the Hawks? They have made a habit of being blown out!..At home none the less...I know they thought getting Kirk Hinricht would be a good idea...but c'mon...with 2.7 left in the half you dont let D-Rose walk up to the 3-line and put it in your face like that...Rose and the Bulls could be playing for all the Marbles ! No question GNR put out the BEST debut album ever...but all time Favorite wouild be...Dr.Feelgood by the one and only Motley Crue!!!!

5@10 did you hear Hester's comment about putting up nets like the AFL? He couldnt be more correct with this can forget about seeing a kickoff ran back for 6...unless they are kicking into a 100mph wind.....

March 23, 2011 at 11:19 a.m.
jgreeson said...


You're in the O/U Shootout with Morris squared (that's Zac and Mercury, right?) and Nolan Smith (nice, Nice, NICE pick by the way). Like how you eschewed Jimmer, too. Gutsy.

The 5-at-10 is done with the Hawks. They smell like feet.


Strong idea about the 80s rap references, thanks again. Thanks for the kind words about SportTalk last night — Dr. B, Quake and Cowboy Joe are super fellows, and it's always a blast.

The 5-at-10's music memory bank is a little frazzled after this morning's rap-recall marathon, but Oso's album list looks pretty strong as were the Crue (and Dre's Chronic was in the 1990s, though, it will have to be in the next episode, EC).

— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 11:22 a.m.
jayrock2004 said...

If Derrick Rose were a senior at Memphis, can you imagine how good college basketball would be? That is why i would LOVE to see the NBA impose a Three year post-high school rule. At least a 2 year rule. It would make college basketball's regular season at least watchable. I love the hip-hop references.. way to think outside the box 5@10!!

March 23, 2011 at 11:28 a.m.
BIspy4 said...

Wondered if you would get around to "Disorderlies." You, sir, did not disappoint. You still got "in jail, because we fail" in your pocket to use at some point as a reference, no? And yes, Mr. Hargis is truly an ace.

March 23, 2011 at 11:29 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

well you have to take into age...I love the 80's but i did not get enjoy them like you fine fellows did seeing that I was born in 85....

March 23, 2011 at 11:31 a.m.
jgreeson said...


It's scary to think about this tournament with the guys that have left early in the last two-three years. How nasty is Kentucky if those five underclassmen who were first-rounders last year came back? Or what about Ohio State with Evan Turner (although Tressel very well could have found a way to get him involved in the Tattoo-for-gear shenanigans)? Or Butler with Gordon (Chitwood) Hayward? This will be its own 5-at-10 topic sometime in the near-to-immediate future.


Hargis is an ace, there's no doubt. And yes, the 5-at-10 PAID to see the Disorderlies in the theater. Not our best day.


You get a complete pass, my good man — did not know you were such a pup. Keep your mind on your money, and your money in your pocket (that's a combo of logic from the two prophets that are Snoop and the 5-at-10's Pop).

— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 11:51 a.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

a pup? C'mon...Im a Man..Im not 40..but Im a Man!

March 23, 2011 at 12:08 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Disorderlies or dotcom stocks? Dotcom stocks or Disorderlies? Yeah, the loss in assets and time was less significant with the Fat Boys movie — except for the two hours of immediate and excruciating pain. If last year's class had stayed at Big Blue (somebody hose down Weeds right now), we'd have never known this year's class and perhaps Josh Harrellson's development would not have been as pronounced.

March 23, 2011 at 12:25 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

as far as duos go...Kobe and Gasol are leaps and bounds above anyone else...but I think Durrant and Westbrook are going to do some special things in OKC...maybe something like Stockton and Malone special bc it they may never win a ring....

March 23, 2011 at 12:26 p.m.
jgreeson said...


Spot on analysis about Durant and Westbrook. You know you some NBA, fella. Is Durant the best player in any sport that does not get the big-time star treatment because of his location? Who else is close? Calvin Johnson maybe? Do we call that team the All-Duncan team, in honor of Tim Duncan, who is arguably the best power forward ever but does not get the credit because he spent his career in San Antonio?


The 5-at-10 believes the UK fan base (especially Weeds) would be willing to sacrifice the personal growth of Woody Harrelson for another year with the accounting their money firm of Wall, Cousins, Bledsoe, Patterson and Assoc.

And dude, we thought for sure you'd have something to say about the big-bellied Braves bullpen and the Terry Forster shoutout by now.

— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 1:28 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

I love the idea of an All Duncan team...Let me do some studying and I will submit a list of players for the All Duncan Team!

If you want to teach a kid how to play the game of basketball...tapes of Tim Duncan banking it off the glass is what you want to be showing in High-DEF...nuff said... as for the Braves Bullpen...I wouldnt call on them to have my back in a bar fight...but I think they are gonna get the Braves through a Hot summer and in to the cooler nights of October ...nice alliteration..."Big-Bellied Braves"

March 23, 2011 at 1:44 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Quick updates on the tie-breaker (in the order in which they were received):

EC — The Morris Bros. (Zac and Mercury), Nolan Smith

5-at-10 — Jimmer Fredette, Nolan Smith, Harrison Barnes

Charlie S. — Jimmer Fredette, Brandon Knight, Jared "Tiger Blood" Sullinger

Pretend Al Davis — Kenny Stabler, Lew Alcinder, DITKA




BIspy4 — Pitt/Utah State



Chris Goforth from "The Show" on Fox 1310AM

Quake from SportTalk on 102.3 FM

Dr. B (He's a doctor after all) from SportTalk on 102.3 FM

Darrell Patterson, Channel 9 sports anchor

PS — Thanks for the alliteration kudos, and the All-Duncan Team could become a 5-at-10 staple with the All-Stan White Team.

— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 3:15 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge I'm tryin not to lose my head Sometimes it's a wonder how I keep from going under.

Hey, Forster was a dependable reliever. And also could be depended upon to put a sheer hurtin on the clubhouse spread. (Remember what he made on the Letterman show?) Magic Juan was another great reliever. Don't let the size fool ya. He had some good years with the Tigers and he and Alejandro Pena were a nasty combo out of the pen for the Bravos. Kerfeld ... well, he was entertaining. And he wasn't as bad as Dan Kolb.

March 23, 2011 at 3:22 p.m.
Eustice_Chase said...

How about the time Alejandro Pena, Kent Mercker and Mark Wohlers combined for an Atlanta Braves No hitter ! Mercker and Wohlers...some true Mullet Mania!

March 23, 2011 at 3:26 p.m.
bigbearzzz said...

Go ahead and put Tyler Zeller down as one of my contimplating the other two right now...i wanna throw down the fredette card...but i dont think BYU is getting past perplexed...I'll go with Nolan Smith as well. I'll get you the third pick tonight or tomorrow morning.

March 23, 2011 at 3:35 p.m.
jgreeson said...

EC — That no-no trio has been blocked from memory for way too many hair violations. EEEE-Gads, unless Rocker or Randy Johnson could some how get an inning or two in there that's some prime-time mulletts.

BIspy4 — Dan Kolb? Really? Dan Stinkin' Kolb? That's so far outta left field that Gary Coleman (star of the bad 1970s "The Kid From Left Field") didn't see it coming. Of course, Coleman is dead now, so hope you're happy with yourself, BIspy.

OsoGrandeee — You're down with Nolan and Zeller, but you're entry is not official until all three are cast. You, too, BIspy.

Dan Kolb. Wow.

— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 3:37 p.m.
jomo11 said...

Tenn just leaked to Mike Griffith the "wish list"....Jay Wright, Jaime Dixon, Anthony Grant, Marke Turgeon and Gregg Marshall.....this is a calculated leak on Hamiliton's part....Greeg Marshall will be the coach......Hamilton knows that the other 4 have NO interest, it just covers his bases....look for Marshall to be named coach as soon as Witchita State is eliminted from the NIT

March 23, 2011 at 4:09 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

V@X, you're just mad that one of Mercker's two no-hitters came against the Dodgers in a 10K performance one night at Dodger Stadium. It was almost as impressive as Ramon Martinez's 18K whiff fest of the Braves. Mercker and Wohlers had great Mullets. But Ramon, lil bro Pedro and the great Pascual Perez ruled the Jeri-curl market.

March 23, 2011 at 5:17 p.m.
jgreeson said...


Hearing similar stuff. If there was a betting board, Marshall would have to be no worse than an even money pick.


That's a fine, Fine, FINE collection of Jheri Curls. Not quite the level of the Soul Glow family or "the man you know better as Joe the Policeman from the what's going down episode of 'That's My Mama,'"... the one and only Mr. Randy Watson from "Coming to America." Michael Cage had a big time Jheri Curl, too.

Worse hair in the front court, Michael Cage or Dwayne Schintzius?


— 5-at-10

March 23, 2011 at 5:40 p.m.
bigbearzzz said... rushing on the picks here Cinco a las third pick is Kimba Walker. Thats it second guessing this done

March 23, 2011 at 5:47 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Wow. A true conundrum. Cage vs. Schintzius. A fight to the last follicle. Gotta go with Big D. That was a grade A mullet. But I also hear Marshall also can be, ummm, abrasive? And with his record at Winthrop, why didn't get more interest from Clemson and South Carolina when those jobs were open.

March 23, 2011 at 6:53 p.m.
ThatIdoknow said...

Here are my picks: J Sullinger, N Smith, K Walker

March 23, 2011 at 7:46 p.m.
OTWatcher said...

My choices are: J Sullinger, K Singlar, Jimmer Fredette. Enjoyed your article. The prophet quote was nice as well.

March 23, 2011 at 7:51 p.m.
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