There's an inner 9-year-old in us all, dying to get out, to laugh at pratfalls, slaps, eye-pokes and fart jokes.
That's what Fox and the Farrelly Brothers are counting on. That's why they've revived "The Three Stooges," those princes of the puerile, champions of the childish.
And from the moment Larry David appears, in full nun's wimple and habit, as Sister Mary-Mengele (ha!), this updating of the Stooges works. (Or should we say "woiks"?)
We meet them the day they're hurled, in a bundle, at the door of an orphanage. They grow into troublesome orphans with bad haircuts. Even as 10-year-olds, Moe (Skyler Gisondo), Larry (Lance Chantiles-Wertz) and Curly (Robert Capron of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid") just say "Nyuck" and are accidents waiting to happen.
"No wonder (adoptive) parents didn't want youse," Sister Mary-Mengele hisses. But Mother Superior (Jane Lynch) and Sister Rosemary (Jennifer Hudson) tolerate them. For decades.
So that when, 35 years after arriving there, their orphanage faces foreclosure, the sort-of adult Larry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) are there to save the day. Sort of.
But it's going to be impossible to raise $830,000 through ineptly performed odd jobs, even if Moe is "startin' to get half a brain in my head." Fortunately, they run into a femme fatale (Sofia Vergara, at her Vergara-iest) who wants them to smother her "dying" husband.
Little does she know she's hired mayhem in high-water pants for the job.
The Farrellys, who have fallen off raunchy comedy's cutting edge in recent years, manage the right tone. Sound effects amp up the laughs, and they've scored with their casting.
The new Stooges are affectionate homages to the originals: Moe and Curly Howard and Larry Fine. Hayes (of TV's "Will & Grace") is the most mannered, and the only one you see giving a performance. Not that he isn't funny as all get-out. But Sasso and Diamantopoulos ARE Moe and Curly.
The Farrellys cleaned up their act for a kiddie audience. They even appear on camera for a "don't do this at home" disclaimer at the end, because the Stooges are for kids.
Not that plenty of grownups won't get a kick out of what Moe does to "The Jersey Shore." Because they have it coming.
'THE THREE STOOGES'
* Running time: 1 hour, 32 minutes.
*Rating: PG for slapstick action violence, some rude and suggestive humor including language.
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