published Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

5-at-10: Vols set to pad up, T.O. once more, Win tickets

Gang, we're going to move quickly because we're neck deep in football tab stuff. And don't forget about Friday's mailbag.

From the "Talks too much" studio, here we go.

  • photo
    Coach Derek Dooley watches his players take the field for a skirmish in April.
    Photo by Jake Daniels /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

Pads please

We all know football has started. We're all excited about this — well, except maybe some of those football widows out there that realize it's going to be Thanksgiving or so before things calm down.

So it goes. It's the South and football season. We're in.

Well, the Vols put the pads on today and start hitting. We know this because our UT beat ace Downtown Patrick Brown tells us. He also told us Monday that Vols coach Derek Dooley likes the word "twitch," which we kind of dig, too.

Quick twitch. Good twitch. Slow twitch. Son of a twitch... wait, sorry strike that last one since we're a family-oriented, Interweb-based sports column.

OK, on a scale of 1-5, with five being "supreme twitch" and one being "blah twitch," where do the following rank on the Vols' goals as the hitting starts and practices become physical and demanding.

5 — No injuries. This is mega-twitch-tastic. And yes, we made that word up. No team this side of Alabama has the depth to easily absorb injuries, but the Vols are extremely thin at quarterback, tight end, running back and at all levels of the defense.

2 — Passing game. The chemistry between Tyler Bray and his slew of NFL-bound wide outs is key, sure. But how much do the Vols get out of running scrimmage drills of the seven-figure passing catching firm of Rogers, Hunter and Patterson against a UT secondary that has an answer with Brian Randolph at safety and a slew of question marks? Be very careful boasting the scrimmage passing stats, Johnny Vols Fan.

4 — Pass defense. See above. That said, if the Vols' uncertain secondary can cover their teammates when UT goes 1s on 1s, that's a very good sign.

5 — O-line play. This may be the biggest swing category for the Vols this preseason. UT returns a ton of experience up front, but it was a group that underachieved last year. So will they be better? They have to be. Will they be great? They could be. Will they determine whether this talented offense is scary good or hair-pullingly mediocre? They surely will.


  • photo
    This June 5, 2011 file photo shows Terrell Owens watching during the second half of Game 3 of the NBA Finals basketball game between the Miami Heat and the Dallas Mavericks, in Dallas. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey, File)
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

Make the most of it

OK, Terrell Owens has signed a one-year, $1 million deal with Seattle. It sounds rather hum-drum, right?

Well, it's either going to be a steal or a colossal disaster. And there is no in between.

Owens has the second most receiving yards and the second most TDs ever. Numbers-wise, on the NFL all-time team, Jerry Rice is one wide out and T.O. is the other. Ponder that for a second.

OK, now ponder this: Despite crafting a Hall of Fame resume, Owens could not land a gig in the pass-happy NFL because he is that big of a prima donna. Think of the biggest prima donna you know or the biggest prima donna you've ever heard of, and know that T.O. is at least twice as prima donna-esque.

How else could you explain no team, looking at Owens for the last 16 months. Sure he had the knee injury, but name one team that has three wide receivers better than Owens? Other than Green Bay, it's tough, right?

So in the cut-throat, win-at-all-costs NFL, how big of a headache does a player have to be that the entire league puts him in timeout, even though he has the talent to help almost all of them?

We said it Monday, and we think it needs to be said again: Hey, T.O., make the most of this chance; we're not sure how many more you have left.


PGA sets up as major test

OK we're in. Or as StuckinKent said when asked about whether to have a PGA Championship contest — "ALWAYS. DO. A. CONTEST. Just sayin'." Not sure why he needed to yell, but OK, we're in.

Here's what we got: The PGA is a different bird. It's not the tournament you go win like the Masters or the one you survive like the U.S. Open (although the reports from Kiawah sound as if the course is going to be brutal), or the one steeped in tradition like The Open. But it's a major, and maybe the PGA and the Australian Open in tennis are the red-headed stepchildren of the majors in their sports, but they are still in the family picture.

Couple of things you need to know about the tournament this weekend.

— With the way the wind and the rain are predicted, know that par at the end of the day is pretty sound.

— Know that the greens at Kiawah are paspalum grass, which is grass that has a wax-like covering to protect it from the weather elements. It also can be very difficult to read because the grain — the consistent way other grasses grow — has no real rhyme or reason. (So yes, Tiger will miss a putt this weekend and look incredulously at the grass, then turn to his caddie and then cuss. Oh wait, how is this grass different again?)

— The course has decided to not treat the sand on the course as hazards, meaning that players can ground their clubs and remove debris and loose impediments. Somewhere Dustin Johnson just punched a spectator.

OK to the important stuff — our final golf contest of the year. (We may look back at the winners form our previous ones for Wednesday's 5-at-10.)

We have changed the rules since the PGA is a different major. Pick two players. The first name can be any one and can be picked by everyone. The second name must make you twosome unique. And since pace of play is an issue in golf, the quicker the better.

We'll take Matt Kuchar and Jason Dufner.

Anyone can pick Kuchar and someone or Dufner and someone, but not the pair. And remember time is of the essence. Questions?

We'll try to update as quickly as we get the e-mails, but the tie goes to those who post below, since we have time stamps.


This and that

— The Titans and Falcons stopped by Coahulla Creek High School on Monday. Apparently a good time was had by all. Here's our ace columnist Mark Wiedmer's report We think this is a boss thing and hope it becomes an annual boss thing.

— The Braves smoked the Phillies 6-1 on Monday night. Amid the beatdown was the storyline that the Phillies' consecutive streak of sell-outs ended at a shade short of 300. Something screams at us the Phillies, who may move Cliff Lee in the coming days, are about to become as relevant as the Orioles. Only higher paid. Quick name a Phillies outfielder, and no Bake McBride, Shane Victorino or Garry Maddux are no longer there.

— Side note: How good does the addition of Ben Sheets look right now? Wow. Dude has been awesome in his awesomeness, including allowing one run in 7 1/3 last night. Dude has allowed five total earned runs in five starts with the Braves and is 4-1 with a 1.41 ERA. Is he the Braves' ace right now? The guy that was watching on TV two months ago?

— Today is the 5-at-10's and the Mrs. 5-at-10 eighth wedding anniversary. We are a lucky dude, there is no doubt. Side note, we told our 4-year-old son today was our anniversary, and he said, "Good job daddy." How right you are son.


Today's question

Today is Wayne Knight's 55th birthday. We all know Wayne better as "Newman" from "Seinfeld." (He was also the dude that tried to sabotage "Jurassic Park" and tangled with the spitting dinosaur in the jeep. He lost.)

This got us thinking, which we admit is a dangerous thing. Newman was part of an excellent hodgepodge of characters and cast on one of the best shows ever.

What's your Rushmore of TV show casts? What four shows had the best collection of characters?

We'll take Cheers, Seinfeld, The Simpsons and Friday Night Lights. Discuss.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
sportsfan said...

Jay - Put me down for Stricker and Scott. Thanks.

August 7, 2012 at 10:21 a.m.
jgreeson said...

Here we go:

5-at-10 — Kuchar and Dufner

Sportsfan — Stricker and Scott

StuckinKent — Lee Westwood and Tiger Woods

Dawg747 — Kuchar and Els

For those confused by the rules, just pick two golfers that don't match any of the twosomes above.

As for the prize, well, we have some ticket options. UTC football tickets, Braves tickets. We're working on NASCAR and UT-NC State tickets.

— 5-at-10

August 7, 2012 at 10:31 a.m.
ordinaryguy said...

After watching the final round at Akron I have to take a flyer and say Tiger puts another major in the win column...My two picks would be Tiger Woods and (drum roll please)Bubba Watson....

As for the Rushmore of television casts...with all due respect to the young whipper snappers...this is a slam dunk, no contest, lock

MASH...Mary Tyler Moore (the icon Ted Knight and Capt Stubing)...WKRP in Cincinnati...Newhart (Larry Darrell and Darrell)

August 7, 2012 at 10:47 a.m.
dawg747 said...

Rushmore: Cheers, Seinfeld, Night Court and WKRP. In the PGA Jim Furyk should lead for the first three rounds and then someone else will lead at the end of the day on Sunday.

August 7, 2012 at 11:13 a.m.
mcpell3 said...

Tiger and Duffner

August 7, 2012 at 11:19 a.m.
fechancellor said...

The Andy Griffith Show, The Simpsons, I Love Lucy, The Jack Benny Program.

For the money:

Rory McIlroy, Keegan Bradley

August 7, 2012 at 11:38 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Rushmore: MASH, WKRP (Comedy), Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation (Sci-Fi).

Glad to hear Mother Knoxville is injury-free. Wish I could say the same for the other school. Reading Frierson's Extra Points stating Haynes is out of commission until further notice is a little unnerving. Will be interesting to read his actual Tweets* later this afternoon.

*I hate Twitter but will follow Frierson's during the season only because its the only source for how the team is progressing. T-minus 25 days to Central Florida and counting.

P.S. Still no love with UNT and SMU on the DMN. Gotta love North Texas alphabet soup.

August 7, 2012 at 11:44 a.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, I'll take Snedeker and McDowell.

August 7, 2012 at 12:19 p.m.
sportsfan said...

Jay - just checking in to see if anyone picked Sergio, yet. Noticed you toiled at the MDJ briefly. Someone showed me a copy of an MDJ sports editorial once where the writer called out Otis with the first letter of each line. That wasn't you was it?

August 7, 2012 at 12:22 p.m.
jgreeson said...

From friend of the show StuckinKent —

Responding to OrdinaryGuy- As someone who is a "young whippersnapper" but has watched all of those classic TV shows, MASH may deserve some respect, and Mary Tyler Moore and WKRP were great, but if I were going to pick one of the Newhart shows, it would definitely be the Bob Newhart Show. Much funnier overall cast. Larry, Darrell, and Darrell were great, but the Bob Newhart show had all of his patients at work and stuff. Hilarious.

MASH may well belong on the Mount Rushmore of great casts.

I amend mine that I sent earlier to include Cheers, MASH, Lost, and Friends. If someone reminds me of another one, Friends will be the next one to go.

August 7, 2012 at 12:26 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

Happy anniversary, 5. And congrats on eight years of outkicking your coverage.

Best cast? "Friends"? (I kid. I kid. I hate that show. Still, if Jennifer Aniston wants to call me back ... but I digress....)

I'll go Andy Griffith Show (Andy, Barn, Aunt Bea, Gomer, Floyd the Barber, the Darlings ... yeah, not bad).

The original Dallas. J.R. Bobby. Shoot, that right there is enough.

A personal favorite — Hogan's Heroes. Hogan, Klink, Schultz, Hochstetter (and all the guys who played the main Germans in the series I think were all Jewish in real life. Plus Robert Cleary as LeBeau had been a Nazi camp survivor).

Big Bang Theory. Smaller, tighter cast. But characters indeed.

I'll go Cheers for the finale. Sam. Coach (RIP). Woody. Carla. Norm. Cliff. And the peripheral characters were good too (Paul, Gary from Olde Towne Tavern).

MASH was great but the later episodes are now much more dated than the earlier ones.

August 7, 2012 at 12:35 p.m.
Stewwie said...

Durant put on a show in the second half yesterday with his barrage of 3s. Ended up 8-for-10 from downtown. A close game in the first half turned into a blowout quick. Team '12 is focused and all BID-ness.

Happy 8th Anniversary, Jay.

August 7, 2012 at 12:52 p.m.
jgreeson said...

OG —

Nice list and we concur with Spy that the early MAS*H is strong even today — Henry Blake and Frank Burns were gold.

Dawg747 —

Wow, an old-school Night Court shout out. Well-played indeed.

FE to the C —

We almost went Andy Griffith — and probably should have — and we tried to stay away from the variety shows, because if that's the case, the best cast of characters (and likely the worst too) is SNL.

Dallas —

We never were into the Sci-Fi stuff, but we'll take your word for it.

And Dean Haynes will help your Mocs big time if he can stay healthy.

Fan —

We did not do that column on Otis — it was before our time. But we know for a fact it is real; we've seen it.

And no, no Sergio. And no Mickelson yet either for that matter.

Stuck —

Never caught the Lost bug but have heard excellent things.

Spy —

Dallas made the final cut for us too.

And we had to include The Simpsons because we viewed this more as great characters more than great cast. Although in some cases above great casts made the characters better, and vice versa.

— 5-at-10

August 7, 2012 at 12:57 p.m.
BIspy4 said...


The writer in question was the late, great Ken Wynn, a personal friend of the Spy's and one of the nicest, most gentle people I've ever met.

August 7, 2012 at 1:01 p.m.
BIspy4 said...


I thought the story was the intrepid MDJ sports staff scoured the bound volumes looking for that column, after its existence was identified in a Creative Loafing issue, but it turned out that entire paper was missing from the 580 Fairground Street archives. Unless you have cast eyes upon it in some other fashion. Which I do not doubt.

August 7, 2012 at 1:05 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Spy —

Yes, Ken Wynn was the wordsmith that crafted that legendary column — arguably one of the five most discussed sports columns ever from the metro-Atlanta area and considering Grizzard's impeccable "I don't want to talk about it." is a runaway one of all-time, that's saying something.

And yes, we have laid eyes on that page. Once and we were sworn to secrecy about the place and the owner of said page.

Stew —

Durant is a freak. A 7-footer with that stroke and agility and ice water in his veins. Dude can play.

While we agree with Livn(Large) that the hoops was more fun/tense/dramatic when the U.S. sent the amateurs, it is super interesting to watch the alpha dogs jockey for position in the pecking order for this bunch.

— 5-at-10

— 5-at-10

August 7, 2012 at 1:39 p.m.

I'll take Zack Johnson and Vijay Singh. Vijay has been working hard on his putter. And he tends to play well in Hawaii. Taxi, Soap, Carol Burnett (Although you didn't want us to go with a variety gotta at least give this one it's kudos.) and Seinfeld.

August 7, 2012 at 1:51 p.m.
BIspy4 said...


Um, they're playing outside of Charleston. South Carolina. Kinda not Hawaii.

August 7, 2012 at 2:08 p.m.

Thanks Bispy. I had a brainfart with my fingers. My thought was he tends to play well on these types of courses.

August 7, 2012 at 2:15 p.m.
chas9 said...

Spy's a genius. It's a good thing to mention at least one show from this century (Big Bang) and I firmly believe that friends don't let friends watch Friends.

OG's list is super strong. Also in the conversation: Hogan's Heroes, All in the Family, Happy Days and Welcome Back Kotter.

From PBS, there's Keeping Up Appearances. Wait, 5@10 readers don't watch PBS.

August 7, 2012 at 2:43 p.m.
jgreeson said...

Addicted —

You're in whether they're playing in Hawaii or Hiawassee.

Spy —

You've always been such a stickler. Are South Carolina and Hawaii not part of the same Union. And we're not going to stand here and let you bad mouth the United States of America. Gentleman...

U-S-A. U-S-A.

9er —

You're correct.

Love the Taxi reference. All in the Family, too — especially considering the high quality spinoffs it produced (Jeffersons, Maude, etc.). Surprised no one has mentioned Barney Miller — very underrated — and personal fav Family Ties.

And what's this PBS of which you speak? Did you mean CBS? Versus maybe?

— 5-at-10

August 7, 2012 at 2:54 p.m.
Todd962 said...

Does anyone else want to get on the bandwagon with me for the "One Average Joe Per Event in the Olympics for Perspective" movement? Never going to happen, I understand, but how many times have you sat there watching the games and thought, "I could do that", or "I used to be able to do that." The fact for most everyone is "no you couldnt, couch jockey", but think how funny it would be to see people try. Last night for instance, I want to see Joe Blow get up on the men's rings in gymnastics and try to do anything but hang and flail. It just needs to be a brief cut away from the real action to humble the average viewer.

"An excellent performance by the competitor from Romania. And for you viewers at home, here is what it would look like if you wanted to give a shot."

"Help, I need an adult!" As the schmoe somehow frantically entagles himself further in the rings.

"Simply awful and humbling, back to you Tom."

You could run a contest through McDonalds for the spots, because in my mind, the people that eat McDonalds and think they could compete in an Olympic event are going to produce the best results for my viewing pleasure.

Jay, mail bag suggestion. What Olympic events do you think you could hang in (Handball, duh, I'd be awesome) and what Olympic events do you think you would forever be immortalized on Youtube from being so horrible in.(Platform High Dive. "In all my years as a broadcaster, I have never seen such a horrific belly flop from those heights. Lets hope the can sew his rib cage back up."

August 7, 2012 at 3:01 p.m.
jgreeson said...

962 —

Outstanding mailbag question, and it's tough not to answer right now. Really tough.

Forget the competitor getting to compete against the studs. Every four years we need an Average Joe Olympics that runs at the same time, event for event as the real Olympics. Watch some 5-foot-3, 120-pound ripped up Olympian doing gymnastics; then cut to Versus and watch the 5-at-10 at 6-foot-4, 220, run full speed into the side of the pommel horse. BLAM.

Awesome idea, all the way around.

And with all the junk that is on the 2050 channels we already ignore, there should be TV executives falling out of their chairs wanting to make this happen.

You could even overlay the actual footage of Usain Bolt running a 9.63 100 and some guy from the Bi-Lo running a 16.8 100. (And there is no athletic number overextended more than someone's speed. If you think you're fast, that's great, but we seriously doubt you can run a 5.0 40. And don't take it personally, it's just a fact. Dudes who run a 4.8 40 are moving. Quickly. And way more quickly than the rest of us. Personal speed is the "We caught a fish this big" of the athetic world.)

We're not sayin', we're just sayin' — you know.

— 5-at-10

August 7, 2012 at 3:48 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

And it's Ken Wynn was the wordsmith who, not Ken Wynn was the wordsmith that.

I hope Shirtless isn't looking over your shoulder. The good man might be appalled.

(I kid. I kid. But not about the righteous Mr. Bush. Just about me being a stickler. And that foot is me.)

And chas9, the last thing my giant ego needs is someone telling me I'm a genius. But thanks anyway.

I asked Ken one night about that column in question. The big man - he was at least 6-5 - just stood there and smiled and didn't say a word.

August 7, 2012 at 4:21 p.m.
Todd962 said...

Anybody have Steve Stricker and Zach Johnson in the first annual Hawaiian Championship Open Competition? Me? Ok, good.

I laughed at Spy's shocking revelation that Kiawah was indeed not in Hawaii, cause I hadnt completely ruled out that it was. "I wonder why they've never played a major championship out there before. Hawaii is beautiful.(Shut up brain, before I poke you with a q-tip)" South Carolina wishes it was Hawaii anyway, with its palm tree flag and its Hawaiian sounding island. Who cares if they're thousands of miles apart. Its a state. It touches an ocean. Pretty close if you ask me.

August 7, 2012 at 4:47 p.m.
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