published Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

5-at-10: All-Star spanking, NBA free agent frenzy and the 40-yard puzzle

We are moving quickly today because we have an early morning dentist appointment.

From the "Talks too much" studios, here we go...

  • photo
    American League's Matt Harrison, left, of the Texas Rangers, reacts after giving up runs as pitching coach Mike Maddux speaks with him during the fourth inning of the MLB All-Star baseball game, Tuesday, July 10, 2012, in Kansas City, Mo. (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)
    Photo by Associated Press /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

All-Star spanking

The All-Star game was a beat down, and it had nothing to do with the National League destroying the American League.

No, we were beaten down by the on-and-on-and-on-and-on that is Tim McCarver. Sweet buckets of ear blood, that dude is brutal. And on the slowest days do the sports calendar, if Chris Berman is going to do Monday night's main event and McCarver was hogging the mic on Tuesday night's All-Star game, should we expect Carrot Top to be the emcee at tonight's Espys?

Here's just one of the shining examples of McCarver's wisdom: "The National League has hit for the cycle in the first 2 2/3 innings." We were waiting for him to tell us the National League power group of Giants starters of Pablo Sandoval, Buster Posey, Matt Cain and MVP Melky Cabrera were four folks who had never been in McCarver's kitchen. Thanks Tim.

Then, with the NL holding an 8-0 lead, McCarver and Joe Buck started discussing reasons for viewers to stick around. No thanks.
 We had long since turned to the Auburn-Utah State replay on ESPNU (don't act like you didn't do it too).

  • photo
    In this Jan. 27, 2012, file photo, Dallas Mavericks' Jason Kidd (2) surveys the court in the first half of an NBA basketball game against the Utah Jazz in Dallas. It was believed Kidd would return to the Mavericks, especially after they missed out on Deron Williams. But reported Thursday July 5, 2012 that anonymous sources said that Kidd had decided instead to join the Knicks for a three-year deal worth about $9 million. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez, File)
    Photo by Associated Press

NBA free agent frenzy

NBA teams can make free agent acquisitions official today, and a slew of the big names will come rolling off the market on day one.

Two of the new developments have created a clear plan for two of the big-name franchises.

The Heat have agreed to terms with Rashard Lewis, another 3-point specialist. Lewis and Ray Allen will give Miami a couple of long-range gunners that will help spread the floor.

The Knicks agreed to terms with aging defensive-minded center Marcus Camby. New York will add Camby and Jason Kidd to a roster that is obviously gunning for gold at the 2014 Senior Olympics.

The 40-yard puzzle

Did you see UTC football ace John Frierson's interesting story on times in the 40-yard dash? Read it here

There are some well-known myths out there. The Loch Ness monster. A compassionate Red Sox fan. Sasquatch (although the Jack Links Beef Jerky folks have all but proven his existence).

Here are the two biggest faux numbers in sports — 4.4 and 90, as in 4.4 40 times and 90 mph fastballs. Gang, they just don't happen very often. And know this, if someone says they run a 4.4 just smile and nod. It's the speed version of catching a fish — extend your hands — thiiiissssss big.

A 4.4 40 is flat trucking. Emmitt Smith ran in the 4.6s. So did former Alabama Heisman winner Mark Ingram. And neither of those guys were caught from behind very often. In fact, the 4.4 fallacy has distorted every speed rating. We think 4.4 is the flatline for fast when it's actually upper end fast. Sure the 4.3 and the very rare 4.2 guys are blurs.

And don't get us started on Uncle Mitchell's tricked up radar gun saying little Timmy is touching 90 with his fastball. After 30 years of spending springs and summers at ball parks across the South, want to know how we know if someone is throwing in the 90s? We listen. Fastballs in the 90s sound different, and when you hear it you know.

This and that

— Was it us or did about every third player that appeared in last night's All-Star game be a former Brave? And when did Melky Cabrera become Rod Carew?

— It was cool watching the All-Star game fans in K.C. give Chipper Jones a standing ovation before his pinch-hit single on Tuesday. In the grand scheme of things, the way Chipper has handled his retirement — announce it early and enjoy the ride — has been spot-on perfect.

— Congrats to Catherine Nelly, who will be inducted into the National High School Sports Hall of Fame tonight.

— And while there's not much to watch sports-wise on TV tonight, the Chattanooga Lookouts welcome Pensacola and Billy Hamilton to town. Sliding Billy Hamilton has 104 steals in roughly 80 minor league games so far this year and is arguably the fastest player in baseball. Here's saying Billy does run a 4.4 40. Earlier this year in a 0-0, Hamilton walked, stole second and third and scored on a fly out. To the second baseman. 

Today's question

One thing that was enjoyable about the All-Star game was the commercials.

The bits about the players were good and while some of the segues back into the broadcast were heavy-handed at times, it felt like we were watching the future of sports broadcasting/advertising in some ways. Plus there was a movie trailer for "The Campaign" with Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis in which those two clowns are running for office. (In the trailer, Ferrell tries to take a swing at someone who side-steps the punch and Ferrell ends up slugging a baby. This movie will either be hilarious or terrible — there is no in between.)

That said, the other commercial that got our eye was the new remake of "Total Recall" and that got us thinking (yes, Spy, that's a dangerous spot).

What is the Rushmore of movies that need to be remade? With the bevy of new effects and technology, "Total Recall" — which was way ahead of its time back then — could be boss.


about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
chas9 said...

Remember when the AL used to dominate the All Star game? Yeah, me neither. Thus ends the myth of AL superiority. Get out of here with that trash. What? It's only an All Star game? Never mind.

Did Kinsler try his hardest to rob Larry of his tear-stained base hit?

I like that Jones is going out while he's still strong. We should all quit while we're ahead. I'm not sure McCarver's ever been ahead, but he should go before it gets worse.

Best wishes and congrats to Catherine Neely, my sister's volleyball and basketball coach.

July 11, 2012 at 10:35 a.m.
fechancellor said...

Ten Ring, I did not watch a minute, but I'm commenting anyway. McCarver's been running that yapper for too many years. Hell, even Seth MacFarland has taken a mean spirited shot or two at the punch drunk catcher.

I generally hate to watch any all-star game geared to the general public instead of the fans. The announcers somehow believe they must explain every nuance of whatever game is being played. Even coverage of golf's majors to a certain extent. ABC being rock bottom with the strength Mike Terico's weakness.

The Superbowl is many times guilty on this count, where explanations of how the game is played take up the whole first half. However, I do relent to muddle through for this one sporting event.

Remakes, just a couple: "The Battle of the Bulge," HO scale train going into the tunnel and never coming out is horrid as are the snow capped Spanish mountains in the back drop. All the seeds of a good movie are here. Somebody needs to plant them.

"12 O'clock High," no need to remake. The acting is too good. Horrors of horrors, Batman, This is movie is a candidate for colorization.

No more Robin Hoods, please. Yes, to more Horatio Hornblower. Forget "Master and Commander."

July 11, 2012 at 12:36 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

I didn't see a second of the All-Star Game. It's not that I didn't want to - but I had a documentary film crew in my office last night until 11:30. And I am not making this up (and the documentary is not about me in the least - I'm just one of the interviewees. With whom they spent six hours. Yay.)

Agree the new FX could lead to a great "Total Recall" remake. "The Running Man" would be a cool remake, too. Alas, Richard Dawson can no longer reprise his role.

July 11, 2012 at 12:40 p.m.
chas9 said...

AP reports that former heavyweight champeen of the world bankrupt Evander Holyfield is being evicted from his 109-room Atlanta mansion. Wait, that can't be right. Lemmee check. Yep, 109 rooms. Of gloom. Wow. Seems like boxers never quit while they're ahead.

Remake Jaws, African Queen, and The Birds. And you wouldn't have to remake them, but re-dub the Jimmy Stewart movies to take the stuttering out.

July 11, 2012 at 1:04 p.m.
ChattanoogaVol said...

The Braves trade for Mark Texiera (who lasted the last half of one season and 1st half of another with them) may be one of the worst of all time. The Braves gave up the following for Texiera (and reliever Ron Mahay): Matt Harrison (who pitched in the All Star game last night), Elvis Andrus (who played in the All Star game last night), Neftali Feliz (who won the Rookie of the Year award for the Rangers a couple of years ago) and Jarrod Saltalamacchia (who has 17 homers at the break for the Red Sox). I guess Braves fans should be glad that Beau Jones, the other player the Braves gave up, hasn't done anything in the majors...yet.

July 11, 2012 at 2:21 p.m.
jgreeson said...

We're still a little fuzzy from the laughing gas, but here goes.

9er —

You're correct, Kinsle was not making a Web Gem appearance for his slow-motion attempt to stop Chipers 43-hopper from getting to right field.

And yes, we meant to include the sad news about Evander, who with his troubles having so many tots with so many women, may be one of the few that needed a 100-room pad. (Of course he apparently was not one of the super-few who could afford a 100-room pad.)

FE to the C —

Want to know the definition of good umps and TV announcers — you never discuss them. They inform and patrol the game and never get in the way or try to be the reason we're watching.

And it's hard to blame the folks at the Super Bowl considering they have something like 144 hours of TV time to fill. It's not unlike the Olympics.

Spy —

We contend they already remade "Running Man." It's called the "Hunger Games."

ChattaVol —

We concur 100 percent. Granted we always are in favor of trading for talent if you think you have a legit chance to win the whole thing, but that one blew up in the Braves' face.

In fact, with your permission, we're going to spend this into the worst trades of the modern era for Friday's mailbag. You cool with that?

— 5-at-10

Battle of the Bulge is a nice choice.

July 11, 2012 at 3:03 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

"Midway" with today's effects ... that would be awesome (and no, "Pearl Harbor" does not suffice).

I would love to see a remake of "Stalag 17." But in today's environment, it would be Jack Black in a Tim Burton-directed film. In the words of Colonel Kurtz ... "the horror ... the horror ...."

And if before the season you had Melky Cabrera going to the All-Star Game AND getting three hits ... um, you wanna, um, go to Vegas or something?

July 11, 2012 at 3:14 p.m.
ChattanoogaVol said...

Fine with me Jay. A good trade for the Braves was nabbing a very young John Smoltz from Detroit for a very old Doyle Alexander. Of course, the all time worst trade (actually he was "sold" maybe not a "real" trade) was the Red Sox sending Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Bret Favre from the Falcons to the Packers for a 1st rounder wasn't pretty if you are a Falcons fan.

July 11, 2012 at 3:50 p.m.
LaughingBoy said...

Remakes: There are dozens of horror remakes now, everything from Prom Night to Amityville Horror but they're missing out on some of the best ones:

The Changeling (early 80s, subtle ghost story with George C Scott, you have to love that wheelchair); Dementia 13 (60s, one of Francis Ford Coppola's first movies actually, murder and mayhem in a castle); Prince of Darkness (80s, had the devil, time travel, zombies, and even Alice Cooper but John Carpenter made it work); Night of the Comet (80s, virtually everyone in the world bites the dust after Haley's Comet passes through, among the few survivors are a pair of valley girls who still enjoy the mall. Good surprises and the infrequent, proper amount of comedy).

All of those originals are worth getting via the mail, movie delivery service or picking up used for probably a couple of bucks at a local, large, used media warehouse.

You could say Jaws has been remade as Alligator, Piranha, even Mega Shark vs Giant Crocodile or whatever such piece of nonsense they're showing on the science fiction channel this weekend.

I will offer a few non-horror remakes later. The one that popped up immediately was Nighthawks with Stallone and Billy Dee Williams chasing a terrorist around New York.

July 11, 2012 at 4:43 p.m.
fechancellor said...

Spy, Midway's special effects are a bit rustic but stand the test. Besides where are you going to get some vintage US Carriers and planes in this day and age. Such a production would look like JAG.

What I don't want to see is anymore of this "Thin Red Line" shat. Who else other than Sean Penn and associated other cameo lefties could tar and feather the US effort in Pacific in WWII.

July 11, 2012 at 5:09 p.m.
please login to post a comment

Other National Articles

videos »         

photos »         

e-edition »


Find a Business

400 East 11th St., Chattanooga, TN 37403
General Information (423) 756-6900
Copyright, Permissions, Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy, Ethics policy - Copyright ©2014, Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc. All rights reserved.
This document may not be reprinted without the express written permission of Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc.