published Friday, April 26th, 2013

5-at-10: Merry Draftmas mailbag

Wow, it's been a great week, capped by a crazy, history-making first round of the NFL draft. We got inspired and played on The Twitter (@jgreesontfp) last night during the draft. We likely will do some more of that again tonight.

Let's get to as many mailbag questions as we can.

From the war room deep inside the "Talks too much" studios, let's turn and burn, right Mav?

From Joey C.

What's the worst movie you can't help but like? Thanks.

And a friend of mine got me into the 5-at-10 -- it's good stuff. Keep up the good work.

Joey C. —

Thanks for the kind words, and feel free to swing by any time — don't cost nothing.

Let's do a quick top-five list in 10 words or less on Joey's question. Yep, this is a little something we call the 5-in-10 from the 5-at-10 for those newcomers, and it goes a little something like this, so hit it.

1) Road House: The Babe Ruth of so-bad-its-good movies

2) Top Gun: You know the movie is blah, but a great drinking game*

3) Red Dawn: Starting to see the 80s-action-cheese relation?

4) Necessary Roughness: We're a sucker for bad sports movies anyway

5) The Notebook: (Just making sure Joey C's paying attention).

• Side note: One time in college, a few of us tried the Top Gun drinking game. There are several — take a pull off your beer whenever they use a call sign or whenever they say a slang word for their aircraft or whenever there's a bit too much guy-on-guy bonding (not that there's anything wrong with that) — and we tried the call signs game. We didn't make it through the movie, but everyone swears we had a good time.

————

From P-Davi

Boomer teaching how to build a Lego fort was free of charge to those tuning in, right?

P-Davi,

Thanks and great point.

Our man P-Davi is speaking of the nonsensical Chris Berman blather about Legos during the first round of the NFL draft.

Man, has he run his course.

We spoke about this with our man David Paschall on our radio show on Thursday on ESPN 105.1.

Berman is now the ultimate distraction in regard to commentators.

Think of it the way Bill Simmons reviews basketball players.

Good ones bring things to the table.

OK ones — and guys who can be good teammates — may not bring anything to the table, but they sit there and don't spill anything either.

Bad ones take things off the table.

Berman is getting to the point that he is spilling the gravy bowl and breaking dishes, especially when he speaks over Kiper or Gruden at the draft.

Pass the biscuits.

————

Big Hitter,

Man, you really do love the draft. Those carols (Thursday) were awesome. How long does it take you to do the 5@10 and we know you are fond of the draft, but who had the best first round?

Thanks, and thanks for the 5@10.

Big Hitter,

Long the Llama.

Thanks for the kind words. As for the 5-at-10, well, we do it every morning. Some days take longer than others of course, but we generally start about 6:15 — and between making coffee and a chocolate milk for the lil' 5-at-10 — we're normally done by 8:15. The carols kind of just flowed yesterday. Sometimes it works; sometimes not. (Raye Anne, right? That's a beautiful name. Is that Greek? That Raye Anne. I don't know. It's a beautiful name, though. There's a great song by Motley Crue. Do you know it? Raye Anne, she's a stayin'. Anyway, a good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball. You hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while.)

We had several folks want our first-round review.

So let's do this:

WINNERS

St. Louis — The Rams moved up to get the guy they wanted in Tavon Austin and restocked picks by moving down and getting Alec Ogletree — a guy with an extremely high ceiling.

Minnesota — Wow, the Vikings turned three picks in the 20s into what a lot of people thought were the best defensive tackle (Sharrif Floyd at 23 — best value on the board), the second-best corner (Xavier Rhodes) and the second-best receiver (Cordarrelle Patterson). Well-played indeed.

Falcons and 49ers — Each team is on the short list of Super Bowl contenders. Each had big singular needs, and each moved up to address those needs rather than waiting and getting the best player at that position when their turn came. We love Eric Reid, the former LSU safety San Fran moved up to get; the Falcons wanted Desmond Trufant and made it happen. We like that approach.

Downtown Patrick Brown — The TFP ace UT beat reporter went a perfect 5-for-5 in the Feeling the Draft contest. Well-played sir, well-played indeed. Plus, his Grizz won last night. Here's saying he had a few of those fancy dark, $7 beers to celebrate.

LOSERS

Ryan Nassib — If your former college coach and college offensive coordinator pick a quarterback that's not you — as Doug Marrone and the Bills did with E.J. Manuel — that's a bad sign, right? The question now is how far will Nassib fall?

Buffalo — At least they traded down, but E.J. Manuel at 16? Dude would have been there when they pick tonight in round 2. Heck, he may have been there tonight when they pick in round 3. Plus, we believe Jarvis Jones — the player taken one spot behind Manuel — will be a star in the league.

Houston — DeAndre Hopkins over Cordarrelle Patterson? Really? REALLY? This could be the wide receiver version of Tony Eason over Dan Marino for the next generation.

Big Ten — Yep, the Big Ten had one more player drafted in the first round as the SoCon did. Enjoy and stay plodding.

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From Titantic

  • photo
    UT coach Butch Jones signs autographs before the Orange and White game at Neyland Stadium.
    Photo by Angela Lewis /Chattanooga Times Free Press.

Hey five, yes Butch is a bit of a reach but GM's draft a lot on potential and having a big upside, don't they? Side note to my earlier post, the Colonel Slade reference was because Al Pacino turned 73 today. How about a little love for his work someday?

Titantic —

We love the fact that UT fans are starting to get excited about football again. Let's face it, the football season is more fun around here when Tennessee's in the mix. And Butch has won the spring by getting Johnny Vols Fans excited.

Great Col. Slade shoutout, and we're going to honor Al Pacino's 73rd birthday with our five favorite Pacino roles, and notice most of these are from earlier in his career when he was doing a range of things as opposed to taking roles where he could be Col. Slade from Scent of a Woman in every movie, whether he's a police officer (Heat), a football coach (Any Given Sunday) or what have you.

1) Michael Corleone. And while we encourage debate around these parts, this one is non-negotiable. In fact in acting circles, we can make a case that Pacino's Corleone is akin to Don Larsen's perfect game in the World Series. Biggest stage, huge moment and he was absolutely perfect. Well-played? Heck, it was perfectly played.

2) Tony Montana in Scarface

3) Pacino in Glengarry Glen Ross

4) Col. Slade in Scent of a Woman

5) Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon

The guy was a hit machine for a while. In the last decade, though, he has let loose more stinkers than a toddler who eats canned chili.

————

From Believer

Thanks for talking about the draft so much. I watched the first round and it was pretty interesting.

Who do you think is the best players still out there?

Thanks and thanks for the 5@10 -- it's a fun part of the morning.

Believer —

There are a slew of players still on the board that could contribute right away and be stars in the (cue Ron Jaworski) NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

Guys like Eddie Lacy, Kevin Minter and a slew of quarterbacks who are better suited for round 2 than round 1. We also love the fact that they separated rounds 1 and 2. Now there is a full day for teams to contemplate trades and make moves. It only adds to the event. (Side note: Here's hoping the league examines the 10 minutes between first-round picks. It's too long. These guys have months to get ready, three fewer minutes between picks should be fine and it would trim 90 minutes off the process, which lasted until close to midnight last night.)

Here's are three things we are intrigued about today:

How do the quarterbacks shake out? Jacksonville has to take one and we believe it will be Matt Barkley. From there, the dominoes start falling.

Where does Manti Te'o go? Dude is falling head over heels, even in an imaginary draft. (Too soon?)

Finally, which teams land a guy that makes you go, "Hey, that's a really good pick."

Here are three teams/picks in tonight's second round that would fit that bill.

Detroit taking Lacy at 36. An offense of Stafford-Megatron and Eddie Lacy would be nice.

Tennessee taking former Vols receiver Justin Hunter at No. 40.

Any team that gets Margus Hunt, the SMU freak who is 6-8, 270 and runs a 4.6 40. He's like the guy in "The Longest Yard" that breaks the guy's freakin' neck. Only faster.

Plus, when do the wide-ranging question marks of former SEC stars Tyrann Mathieu, Tyler Bray, Da'Rick Rogers and Marcus Lattimore become worth the risk?

We love the draft. You know this.

Here's another prediction: With Kevin Minter, a difference-making middle linebacker, still on the board, here's saying the Ravens will do everything short of dealing next year's No. 1 to move up and get him. If that happens, it would mean the Ravens added a stud safety in Matt Elam in round 1 and Minter in round 2 to try to replace departed future Hall of Famers in Ed Reed and Ray Lewis. That would be well-played indeed.

————

From Mr. Spud

I hate the draft....you know this. But since it's free and I could win a prize...I'm in.

I prefer to call my favorite adult beverage by a more appropriate name, Spud Light. Speaking of beverages, here is a mailbag submission:

What is your Rushmore of all time great beer commercials?

  1. Miller Lite: Bob Uecker...."Must be in the front row"
  2. Miller Lite: Tastes Great, Less filling spots
  3. Bud Light: Spuds Mckenzie (what else would I pick)
  4. Dos Equis: The most interesting man in the world.

I don't always enter online contests, but when I do, I prefer the 5-at-10 contests. Stay online my friends.

Mr. Spud —

Excellent question and one that we spent entirely too much time on.

We're going to break this down a little bit.

First, we can all agree that the old-school Miller Lite ads were game-changers. From the bar room brawl to the Uecker in the front row spot to the "You can call me Ray" the whole campaign was ahead of its time.

Secondly, there are enough Bud Light ads in recent Super Bowls to have a Bud Light top 10. From the "Wazzzzz Up" to the frogs to the Clydesdales playing football, there are enough.

Let's face it, the big-time marketing folks do football commericials.

So the best four beer ads not in those two in our view are:

• The most interesting man in the world is a great ad

• The Coors Light commercials with the fake news conferences and real clips of coaches are good

• We really liked the "Brilliant" guys for Guinness

• As for the best, we can make a hard argument that the Corona ads on the beach looking at the surf are the best. Want to know why? It makes us want to have a Corona right then, and isn't that the goal of every ad.

Stay thirsty friends.

————

From New Listener

Hey,

I've read the 5@10 for a while and enjoy it.

Have listened to you and David Paschall on the radio, and I got to tell you, you guys are way better than I expected. Seriously.

What's going to be the future of that deal? I hope it continues because you guys know sports better than anyone I've heard.

Thanks and keep up the good work.

New Listener,

Thanks for the kind words, especially since we weren't sure where you were headed with that one.

(Side question for the group: What's the best/worst back-handed compliment you can remember some one offering? We were at a shindig in college and one of our buddies — we'll call him Weena — offers up to this girl: "Wow, you're nowhere as big as everyone said." Oh, Weena.)

The radio thing is fun — and much harder than it looks, which is major praise to those guys like Quake and Dr. B and Jim Gumm and Wells and the rest who make it look easy at times.

Not exactly sure what the future holds in that direction, but we think there could be some options on the horizons.

For those of you who want to check Paschall and the TFP sports editor out, we'll be talking a bunch about the draft and other goofiness on ESPN 105.1 from 1-3 p.m. We're also trying to land B.J. Coleman some time today. We'll let you know on that.

about Jay Greeson...

Jay was named the Sports Editor of the Times Free Press in 2003 and started with the newspaper in May 2002 as the Deputy Sports Editor. He was born and raised in Smyrna, Ga., and graduated from Auburn University before starting his newspaper career in 1997 with the Newnan (Ga.) Times Herald. Stops in Clayton and Henry counties in Georgia and two years as the Sports Editor of the Marietta (Ga.) Daily Journal preceded Jay’s ...

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Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
John_Proctor said...

TOTALLY off subject, but I just heard the news that George "Possum" Jones has passed away in Nashville. Take time out from following the draft and hoist a glass of your favorite beverage, adult or otherwise, in his memory.

April 26, 2013 at 10:39 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

Jaymeister-

Didn't follow a single bit about the draft. After work I had an audition for a small part in an independent movie (will find this weekend if I'm cast or not) followed by some serious at-home yoga (snicker all you want but that stuff is money and my balance and posture has never been better - even during my Wrestling/JROTC Ranger years). By the time I was eating dinner it was 10PM Dallas time where I watched WTVC streaming so I see any follow-ups on the hypnosis-hooker thingie (Loved the corner graphic for those who saw it XD )

Good Rushmore on bad movies we love to watch. One I like to add which plays on Comedy Central all the time is Zach and Mindi make a Porno. Not one of Kevin Smith's signature classics, but it has it's funny moments.

Loved reading how dumpster-boy didn't make the first round. And since you love the draft, I predict more fun DMN stuff. This morning on the front page of the sports section, the 'Boys selections in the first round apparently were a very EPIC faaaaiiilllll!!!!

But you can read all about it next week.

on Al Pachino-WHO-RAA! Getting some tail on the tail (actual movie quote).

"The guy was a hit machine for a while. In the last decade, though, he has let loose more stinkers than a toddler who eats canned chili."

Bonus points for the "Mr. Mom" reference. Well-played.

BTW, who on the SoCon got selected in the first round? I'm guessing Boone-country but surprise me.

April 26, 2013 at 10:39 a.m.
ordinaryguy said...

Some observations from last nights draft coverage hosted by the THREE STOOGES, Gruden is an IDIOT, and to think some many wanted him as the coach of the clorox orange, and some lead us to believe that was a done deal...could not help but laugh all night at the continued fall of Geno Smith...you talk about Namath being overrated?...Geno is the turnover king...Namath is a HOF'er enough said...ESPN has found someone they can kiss up to just like Jordan and James and that is Geno...what a joke!

JG despite your youth you are spot on with Pacino...Michael Corleone but let us always remember that riviting performance in one of the worst movies of all time: Dick Tracy.

April 26, 2013 at 10:53 a.m.
Todd962 said...

Bringing the A game on the mailbag today. Good stuff all around. Missed most of the draft due to my trivia obligations, but we got 3rd, which is a free pitcher, which is our ultimate goal anyway, cause we cannonball it and everyone goes home a winner. So thanks for the review.

If you ever have the urge to regress to your "where are my pants, why is my truck in the neighbors flower bed, who put my phone in the toilet bowl" self, you should try the Dodgeball drinking game. That is one that will put hair on your chest, most of that hair will have come from the eyebrow your "buddy" shaved off after you passed out, but its hair all the same. Everytime someone says "dodge" or "ball", you drink. Everytime someone says "Globogym", you drink. Everytime someone gets hit by a ball, you drink. Everytime some gets hit by something other than a ball, you drink 5. Everytime Pepper says something, you finish your beer. They use to tell me I had a great time playing that one.

And now is time for Todd's Scent of a Woman Memory of the Day: Had an uncle that when getting pestered to the point of perturbed from the children he would slam his hand on the table and bellow "Im gonna take a flamethrower to this place!" We would all freeze and stare at him in a moment of bewilderment and then all have a good laugh. Good times.

Road House's Final Scene: "A polar bear fell on me!" So profound. Cinematic masterpiece. And I'm out.

April 26, 2013 at 11 a.m.
MocTastic said...

Has ESPN not read the feedback on Berman all over the internet? It is time for him to be retired to the pasture. The look of bewilderment on Kiper and Gruden's faces as he talked about leggos for seemingly five minutes and then asked them what they thought about the players as leggos. I was hoping some guys with white coats would walk up behind Berman and slip a straight jacket over him and escort him out.

April 26, 2013 at 11:13 a.m.
jgreeson said...

Johnny P —

We will certainly pour one for Mr. Jones this weekend. We were going to pour one anyway, but now we have a reason.

For everyone, If you're completely unmoved by "He stopped loving her today," well we have pity on your cold, stone heart.

JMC —

Mr. Mom is supremely underrated. Keaton had a big-boy run of comedies there for a while. Mr. Mom, Night Shift, Gung-Ho... good stuff.

OG —

Yes, Namath is overrated, and for the reason you state. He's threw 50 more INTs than TDs in his career. FIFTY!

Dude deserves to be in the Hall of Fame of Cool or the HoF of Charisma, but making the most famous guarantee in sports is not worth a ticket to Canton.

Check these numbers and tell us who is whom:

QB 1 — 13 years, 27,663 yards, 50.1 completion percentage, 173 TDs, 220 Ints

QB 2 — 12 years, 27,602 yards, 57.9 completion percentage, 154 TDs, 113 Ints

QB 1 is Joe Namath; QB 2 is Jeff George.

Todd —

The Dodgeball drinking game would cause Pepper to need new shorts.

Didn't Tiny from Roadhouse get the Best Supporting Actor nomination that year? It was because of that scene, too.

Best lines in cinema:

a) "Rosebud"

b) Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a...

c) A Polar bear fell on me

d) Fredo, I know it was you.

e) Of all the gin joints in all the world...

Discuss

April 26, 2013 at 11:22 a.m.
jgreeson said...

Moctastic —

Great point.

And here's the kicker — he probably thought of the Lego thing Thursday afternoon, and said, "This is gold, Jerry, GOLD. This will knock Kiper's socks off."

The look on Gruden's face was priceless. We were waiting for him to go all John MacLain from Die Hard when Deputy Police Chief DeWayne Johnson says the crowd was sprayed with glass.

Berman: "The players are like Legos, right Coach?"

Gruden: "Legos? LEGOS?!?! Who gives a hit about Legos? This is big boy football, not Play-Doh and rumblin' bumblin' stumblin' around. Either decide to be part of the solution or you're part of the problem, you know where I'm going with this?"

Berman: "I love Legos."

Gruden: Do you love the Legos are you just saying that because you're embarrassed?

Berman: I LOVE Legos.

And Kiper starts humming "Afternoon Delight"

Amen and pass the biscuits.

April 26, 2013 at 11:30 a.m.
JonathanMCook said...

OG-

Great call on Pacino's portrayal of Big Boy Caprice in DT. Seriously, when "Daffy Duck's" portrayal of Dick Tracy 67 years ago is "leaps and bounds" better then Warren Batty's that says something right there.

April 26, 2013 at 11:31 a.m.
ordinaryguy said...

thanks JMC...I stand by my Namath pick...if you are under 50 you weren't able to actually watch him play the game...

April 26, 2013 at 11:42 a.m.
LaughingBoy said...

Close but no cigar, had the first overall pick off by one (as did millions of others), got the Titans and Steelers right (those were fairly reasonable to guess), missed Bjoern Werner by two picks, and was off on the SEC count by 1. I had Justin Hunter and the guard from Kentucky in round 1, I thought the "character concerns" would hold Ogletree out of round 1.

Mr Irrelevant is no longer the last pick of the last round, it's the NFL running back.

April 26, 2013 at 11:53 a.m.
chas9 said...

Nothing's better than He Stopped Loving Her Today. I doubt anybody's ever tried to cover it, because it's impossible to hear it in any other voice and phrasing than No Show Jones. After he recorded it The Possum reportedly said "Nobody'll buy the morbid S.O.B."

I'd add Geno and Bray to the losers list, since the way QB's fared in round one means they'll slip considerably below expectations.

April 26, 2013 at 11:54 a.m.
GratefulDawg said...

With the talk of Berman stumbling, bumbling, and fumbling his way thru another broadcast I have to ask: Has the televised coverage of the draft become worse or do I simply have less patience than I once did? I can remember spending the better part of a Saturday watching the draft on TV back in the day. Last night, I made it thru the first hour and thought "I can't watch this." That little draft tracker doohickey on my phone alerted me when a pick was announced.

Staying on the topic of ESPN, I'm working from home today or at least that's what I'm doing in theory. I flipped on the TV and ran across that show with Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith...Jeebus H. Christmas! That show is horrible. Fifteen minutes of that dumpster fire and I can understand the mindset of Elvis that night he shot his TV.

I would also like to join the chorus and say rest in peace Possum. A voice like no other. The Grateful Dead used to include a cover of "The Race Is On" in some of their live sets. Everybody in the band enjoyed playing the song, but Bob Weir hated doing lead vocals. Some voices simply cannot be emulated.

The draft contest...Congrats to the winners. I went 0-for-everything. Time to get that crystal ball into the shop.

April 26, 2013 at 2:44 p.m.
MocTastic said...

Draft show could be improved by speeding it up..they dont' have to lessen the time in between picks, just go ahead and announce it when it comes in. You will see on the screen that the pick is in, then they take a couple more minutes of talking before they announce it. I guess they have to stretch to a certain time to sell so many commercials. In the old days when it was on one day it was boom boom boom, picks announced as quick as they came in, sorta like now with the last few rounds, but they did it for the first round also.

April 26, 2013 at 3:35 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

I consider myself lucky to have seen Merle Haggard in concert a couple of years ago at the beautiful Lucas Theater in Savannah. I had contemplated going to see George Jones on his most recent stop in Savannah but opted not to go, even though I thought to myself how many more times will I get this chance. Alas, no more. He wrote it; he lived it.

Didn't see a lick of the draft. Haven't really followed any draft coverage. Strangely, don't feel like I missed anything. They were drafted last night, and hey'll still be drafted tomorrow.

April 26, 2013 at 4:06 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

5,

I'd put Pacino's very studied, understated role as Lefty in "Donnie Brasco" above a "A Scent of a Woman," where to me, he played a guy playing Al Pacino. It took me a while to get used to it, but Pacino was great as Vincent Hanna in "Heat." It wasn't the sum of its parts, but it's still eminently watchable every time it's on.

And if you don't think Johnny Depp can act, watch "Donnie Brasco."

You know, 5, Pacino wasn't the first choice as Michael Corleone. In fact, the producers tried very hard to replace him.

April 26, 2013 at 4:26 p.m.
Stewwie said...

Agreed on ouch-standing coverage of the draft on ESPN. A couple of years back, I realized that I could only take so much of Berman and Kiper. Plus the draft unnecessarily takes too long. Good idea from Jay to trim the minutes more in the first round. And the very first pick should have only 1 minute on the clock to turn in their pick.

April 26, 2013 at 4:33 p.m.
BIspy4 said...

5, OK, one more thing and I got to go. Late with a project and then already behind schedule for something else that hasn't even started yet.

Many years ago, we went on a two-week trip around the Great Lakes to see baseball. We got to Milwaukee (great town). Went to the Miller Brewery and took its tour. Went to the gift shop. One member of our traveling party, now a professor of history somewhere, asked if they had the Miller Lite commercials for sale on a VHS (I mean, it was 1994). The gal behind the counter said, "Hmm. We've never thought of that."

WHAT??? THEY HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT? Oy. Vey.

April 26, 2013 at 4:36 p.m.
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