published Friday, July 18th, 2014

Hart: 'World Cup' doesn't runneth over; our borders do

By Ron Hart

The U.S. soccer team did the impossible — the players briefly got Americans interested in soccer. We Americans do not like a sport where the score seems to be always 0 to 0.

Most countries fervent about soccer take the day off for the World Cup, although they will shut down for pretty much anything at any time if it involves drinking and the possibility of a fist- fight. Most soccer countries have a riot-based economy anyway.

FIFA, the world soccer, tax-exempt organization that puts on the World Cup, is about as corrupt as the United Nations. Yet when our country is involved, even if it involves cock fighting, we patriotically care.

Obama pitched his Chicago to FIFA for the 2022 World Cup and lost to Qatar. He had brought in Bill Clinton to make the case for bringing this soccer event to the United States.

With Hondurans, Guatemalans and Nicaraguans just waltzing across our borders for free welfare, health care, education and to take our jobs, we are becoming a soccer-loving country more and more each day. Where are our goalies on our borders?

Fifteen million Americans watched the U.S. team in the World Cup, which probably corresponds to the number of illegal aliens now living in our country. All 15 million of these fans went to various bars and stadiums to watch the games, yet they only took 500 cars.

Germany played Argentina in the final game. The only folks who were more torn about who to pull for than we Americans were the ex-Nazis living in Argentina since World War II. Historically, the countries who played well in the World Cup were Germany, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil and Paraguay.

Iraq clearly had no chance of winning its matches. When play heated up, Iraqi players took off their American-made uniforms, threw them on the ground for the other team to take, and ran.

The United States barely grasps the concept of World Cup soccer. If we play Afghanistan, Korea, Germany, Japan or Iraq, we either have to win or go home. There is no option in soccer whereby we can spend $1 trillion dollars and occupy those countries for 10 years so that we might claim victory.

Germany won it all, after another exciting 0 to 0 tie in 113 minutes of kickball. There was a lot of pressure for Germany's players to win. If they did not, many of them had plans to go into hiding with their grandparents in Argentina until things cooled down.

Germany dominated three teams to get to the championship. Their fans, all pumped up about their conquests, united in a patriotic frenzy and started singing pro-German songs in the stadium. What could go wrong? I suggest we keep an eye on their Instagrams on Throwback Thursday. They might be frightening.

Germany and Japan topped the BBC poll of most popular countries. It is astonishing that we are firm allies of both Japan and Germany after two brutal world wars. I guess producing Heidi Klum and top-notch automobiles goes a long way toward mending feelings about past war crimes.

Germany does have its fiscal act together and is a great friend to the United States. Yes, it did lose wars with America, Russia and Britain that it started, but the country should be ranked in the top 10 just based on strength of schedule.

If you love your country's soccer, you will now have to wait four years. It will take as long to get World Cup soccer back as it does to make a doctor's appointment at our VA or to get the IRS to locate those lost emails.

Email Ron Hart at Ron@RonaldHart.com.

2
Comments do not represent the opinions of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, nor does it review every comment. Profanities, slurs and libelous remarks are prohibited. For more information you can view our Terms & Conditions and/or Ethics policy.
moon4kat said...

What a stupid, snarky column. Ron Hart is speaking only for his small-minded self.
We had a house-full of patriotic, native-born Americans watching the American Broadcasting Company's broadcast of the final game. Soccer is a great sport, although it takes some time and attention to learn the nuances that make the good contests fascinating. Too bad this column was written by a know-nothing who hasn't devoted any effort to learning about the great game. Maybe he got too many concussions playing the other football? Or, he just loves having commercial breaks spewing ads at him every 5 minutes.

July 18, 2014 at 10:17 a.m.
inquiringmind said...

ditto

July 18, 2014 at 6:06 p.m.
please login to post a comment

videos »         

photos »         

e-edition »

advertisement
advertisement

Find a Business

400 East 11th St., Chattanooga, TN 37403
General Information (423) 756-6900
Copyright, Permissions, Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy, Ethics policy - Copyright ©2014, Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc. All rights reserved.
This document may not be reprinted without the express written permission of Chattanooga Publishing Company, Inc.