On any given day, many parents are in a perpetual state of exhaustion trying to keep up with their children. So imagine trying to keep up with 12 kids. That is exactly what Toby and Brenda Willis do on a daily basis.
"Toby comes from a family of nine children," says Brenda. "I, on the other hand, have one sibling and my parents are divorced."
Before they were married, the Willises decided they wanted a large family, partially because the boys in Toby's family were wrestlers; he was a state champion wrestler and a wrestling coach. Toby imagined it would be awesome to have a huge family with lots of wrestlers to carry on family tradition.
"We decided to have 12 children, however, we didn't count on having eight daughters," says Brenda. "We had to rethink the whole wrestling thing. One evening, Toby surprised me with tickets to Riverdance. During the performance, Toby turned to me and said, 'This is it. This is what our girls are going to do. Our girls can take dance lessons.'"
The rest is history. The Willis family took dance lessons and started performing. The kids are internationally ranked Irish dancers and singers, national swing dance champions and state wrestling champions. They have been around the world, performing from Dollywood to the World Championship for Irish music in Ireland, which they won. Many were introduced to the Willis Clan on the TV show "America's Got Talent."
Both Toby and Brenda seem amazingly calm about managing a household of 14. They describe a day in their life as managed chaos. Make no mistake, though. They take their parenting mission very seriously.
"I think there is a beautiful charm at each age," says Brenda. "I don't want to miss any of it. I have learned it isn't the end of the world if one of our kids says or does something wrong. You just have to laugh. When really bad things happen, I look at Toby and say, 'It's just going to make the book better.'"
The Willis' life has not been without pain. In 1994, when they were expecting their third child, Toby's parents were in a horrific car accident that killed his six younger siblings.
"That was a very difficult time for us," recalls Brenda. "I don't think there is anything worse than losing your children. It is emotional and debilitating. We found that you have to look at situations like this and ask, 'Will we be the victim or the hero?' We intentionally made the decision that, in spite of tragedy, we wanted to move forward and live life."
The Willis' have no idea what is coming next, but they aren't afraid.
"I love adventure," says Brenda. "I grew up in a single parent home where extracurricular activities were not an option. When Toby and I married, we agreed we wanted to live life to the fullest, and we wanted to pass that sense of adventure along to our children. From rock climbing and rappelling, to horseback riding, wrestling and performing, we're on a journey."
The Willis' have claimed "epic" as the word to describe the way they live and embrace life. What word will you claim to describe the way your family lives?
Julie Baumgardner is the president and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at julieb@firstthings.org.