Restaurant review: You'd be nutty to ignore the new Crazy Buffet

When my editor asked if I'd be willing to accept an unplanned assignment to do a restaurant review, my first thoughts were, "She must be crazy! I mean, I have an extremely busy social life! (OK, this is a gross exaggeration.) Did she really just assume that I will be free to do a last-minute assignment?" (She's painfully prescient.)

But seriously, when she told me where she'd like for me to dine, Crazy Buffet, I heard those four syllables as the sweet sound of serendipity. So I agreed to sample the spread at 5104 Hixson Pike. Previously occupied for many years by Ryan's Steakhouse, it's a location familiar to many.

Dessert sampler from Crazy Buffet. (Photo by Juliet Taylor)

Whether it was flattery or an insult that I came to her mind as the perfect fit to review a restaurant with "Crazy" in the name is beside the point.

So I quickly assembled a crack team of "culinary research assistants" - Juliet Taylor and the husband-and-wife team of Don and Rita Pack - and we descended upon Crazy Buffet like a swarm of locusts in the book of Exodus. And (spoiler alert!) our trail of devastation was most certainly of biblical proportions.

THE FOOD

It's the type of well-stocked, serve-yourself buffet with a heavy emphasis on Asian cuisine that I have come to expect these days when I see the word "buffet" in a restaurant's name. Row after row of salad ingredients, fruits, appetizers, vegetables, a wide variety of meats and seafood, and desserts galore.

This restaurant also gives patrons the option of choosing a selection of fresh meats and vegetables to be cooked to order on the hibachi grill. Also, the sushi bar received raves for its variety and freshness. There's something for practically everyone. If you don't see anything you like on the buffet, you can order Chinese cuisine off the extensive menu. One more thing: You can also order food to go by the pound: $4.99 per pound for items off the regular buffet, $5.99 for sushi, $7.99 all seafood items.

THE COST

This restaurant is, well, CRAZY inexpensive. With the all-you-can-eat lunch buffet being only $7.59 ($4.99 ages 7-8, $3.99 ages 4-6, $1 ages 2-3, free for kids under 2), feeding a family won't break the bank. The dinner price is $9.99 ($6.99 ages 7-8, $4.99 ages 4-6, $1 ages 2-3, free for kids under 2). Granted, ordering any soda or tea adds $1.89 to the bill for both children and adults, but the wait staff is terrific about providing as many free refills as you like, so you may not mind the cost.

THE ORDER

We all decided to order the buffet, and here's how it went down:

Don is primarily a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, so his main selections leaned heavily toward the traditional. Tried-and-true down-home offerings such as pork ribs, fried chicken, potatoes (both roasted and curly-fried), broccoli, other veggies and fruits caught his eye. Like the rest of us, he was impressed by the coconut shrimp.

Glancing over at his plate I remember thinking that both the rib portion and the piece of chicken sure could have been meatier. Sure enough, his honest assessment of his main meal was "It was OK." He didn't love it; he didn't hate it. Let's call it a draw.

The more-adventurous Rita was a maverick in choosing steamed crayfish as one of her proteins. While she never said this aloud, I found myself wondering if she had placed that ugly, beady-eyed, miniature lobster-looking creature of food frustration on her plate in an I-Want-To-Experience-This-New-Thing-in-the-Spirit-of-the-Late-Anthony-Bourdain moment of esprit de corps. She and Don are fans of his shows.

In the end, her struggle to manage that monster devolved into a way-too-much-work-for-so-little-reward epiphany, and the pesky crustacean was permanently pushed to the side of her plate.

Other than that, Rita seemed to enjoy her meal, particularly the fresh garlic-seasoned green beans and the coconut shrimp. Before we left, she was already making plans to return with family. She wants to try ordering from the hibachi grill next time, and that may very well be what I try next time as well.

Juliet is partial to seafood, so she chose her main proteins from the fairly extensive sushi bar before venturing off to find some fresh vegetables as sides. She was highly impressed by the quality of the sushi. The steamed, garlic-seasoned green beans and broccoli were her favorite sides.

As for me? I'll just say that I'm glad I had my culinary cohorts with me on this assignment because my plate was about as exciting as watching grass grow. A trusted colleague had suggested I try the coconut shrimp, so I did, and it lived up to my high expectations. We all agreed that was a fave.

For the heck of it, I also tried the fried butterflied shrimp (decent), then went with seasoned potato slices (good), some slightly thin but delicious sweet potato casserole, a couple of cheese-stuffed baked mushrooms, a slice of baked ham, garlic green beans and broccoli spears from the "beef broccoli" container in the Chinese entree section.

I cleaned my plate but, overall, there wasn't anything totally memorable on it outside of the coconut shrimp. In the interest of "research," we all selected multiple desserts from the ample fruit and dessert area. Everything was good - particularly the mini squares of coffee-and-cream cake - with the exception of the hunks of under-ripe pineapple.

THE SERVICE

Our server, Iris, was friendly and attentive to our needs. We all agreed that the service was above average for a buffet-style restaurant.

THE SPACE

Having once housed a large, popular, semi-cafeteria-style steakhouse, there is obviously plenty of seating. No one should ever have to wait for a table. Bonus: The menu says that there's a party room available. Last, but not least, the restaurant appeared to be clean.

THE VERDICT

We concluded that while we certainly weren't blown away by the food, it was decent, low-cost food and we may even consider a return trip to Crazy Buffet in the future. Next time? Hibachi.

Contact Cindy Deifenderfer at cdeifenderfer@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6362.