Why is it that an unmarried, sexually active woman might be labeled a "slut," while an unmarried, sexually active man will be congratulated for being a "player"?
"It's the way we were raised," said Bruce Griffin, 28. "I think it's a stigma, like a 'Scarlet Letter' sort of thing. (Guys) almost have to tell whenever they score. It's like the way you high-five your kid for taking his first step."
Experts agree the sexual double standard is real, and that women are partly to blame for self-inflicting the stereotype.
"It's what girls and women go through every day," said Abbey Keehn, director of teen programs at Girls Inc., Chattanooga. "Young men are brought up to value sexual experiences, and young women learn to be in committed relationships. Men are expected to sow their wild oats, and women are expected to remain virgins until marriage."
These double standards, said clinical psychologist Sandra Kilpatrick, begin early in life, with gender roles being branded onto children from the toys they are given to the rules they're expected to follow.
"We're bombarded with these traditional stereotypes for men and women, and the impact on us psychologically is terribly strong," Kilpatrick said.
Keehn agrees. "How many times does a teenage boy get a pat on the back from dad for hooking up with a girl?" she said. "You do see it."
She said that, growing up, she and her younger brother were treated differently by their parents.
"My brother didn't get questioned about where he was going or who he was hanging out with. I had to call, I had to check in. ... There would never be a boy in my bedroom, ever."
Such standards, both said, continue into adulthood, though Kilpatrick noted a "slow progression," indicated in popular culture by shows such as "Sex and the City."
"[It] shows very classy, successful women who have a lot of sexual encounters," she said, "and they're portrayed in a generally positive way."
Meanwhile, Keehn cited mixed media messages as contributing to confusion about sexual behavior.
MTV's British import, "Skins," known for its myriad portrayals of teen sex, drinking and drug use, had lost nine advertisers by midweek, Reuters reported. The show has been targeted by the Parents Television Council for being "graphic and extreme."
"Girls are supposed to be out there and be popular and attractive to the other sex, and when they do that, they're chastised for their behavior if they engage in sexual activity," Keehn said of the messages portrayed to young women.
The standards, she acknowledged, should be different for teen girls and for grown women. But judgment, she noted, particularly woman-to-woman judgment, isn't restricted to the high school crowd. The "middle-school mentality" extends and is universal.
Kilpatrick said women tend to question the chastity of others for self-assurance. The basic reason we judge, she said, is simple: to make us feel better about ourselves.
"If we say 'Oh, she's a whore,' and we've had [fewer] sexual partners, we feel better about ourselves," she said. "It takes the focus away from what we have to work on ourselves."
"Women just don't seem to like other women," said Griffin. "There seems to be so much jealousy and competition."
Moral standards are stricter in the Bible Belt, Kilpatrick said, especially for women. "By comparison [to other regions in the United States], the South is about 20 years behind the rest of the country, in attitudes especially," she said.
Which isn't to say, however, that potentially harmful behavior should be applauded or ignored. "If you knew someone who was having a huge number of sexual partners, it would be perfectly acceptable to talk to them about why they're doing what they're doing, if they're being safe," Kilpatrick said.
Keehn said the first question she would ask of a girl who was being judged for her sexual behavior is "Why?"
"Nothing justifies being called a [name]," she said, "but why are [a girl's peers labeling her]?"
Indeed, a lot of the problem comes down to name-calling, which indicates a lack of understanding.
Keehn said if she heard one of her girls referring to another in a pejorative manner - "Susie is a slut" - her first move would be to ask her charge to look at the situation through the other girl's eyes.
"I'd have them think: What situation is this girl in? If you were in her shoes, how would you feel if you were called this name? And do you have the full facts?"
While Keehn has a duty to protect not only the feelings, but the safety of her young charges, autonomous grown women, Kilpatrick said, should be free to enjoy sex.
Though some use sex to fight poor self-esteem or prove a point or as a form of self-abuse, some women simply like sex. And that's OK, Kilpatrick said.
"If their reasons are 'I enjoy touch, I enjoy the experience'... If it's not interfering with their self-esteem, they should be allowed to keep going on and not be judged."
Griffin said the concept of women enjoying sex has never eluded him. He's just not accustomed to women being honest about enjoying sex, for fear of being ridiculed.
"As guys, we seem to like [sex] so much, so I've never thought it was different for women," he said. "But it's not nearly as OK [for a woman] to be open about it."