Most mothers, whether they are a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home, feel like the work of a mom is never done.
"It's true," says Sara Emanuel, wife and mother of five, ages 10, nine, four (twins) and a newborn. "I constantly feel like I run myself into the ground trying to get everything done. I have to guard against living in a constant state of guilt over all of the things left on the 'to do' list. I know that's not healthy, but it's hard to turn my brain off or to think about doing something just for me because I am exhausted."
In addition to constantly feeling like the job never ends, there are the comparisons that moms do while looking at posts on Facebook or Pinterest. In an informal survey, a group of women were asked how many of them compare what they do for their children with what other moms are doing. Every hand in the room went up.
"I try not to compare myself to other women, but honestly it's hard not to," says Emanual. "I catch myself comparing how I handle discipline to how another mom handled a similar situation, thinking, 'I wish I had been that creative.' I think if most moms were honest, we all spend a lot of time beating ourselves up for what we aren't."
Emanual says she believes that, along with many other women, she wants to give the perception she has it all together.
"It makes me laugh when someone comes up to me and says, 'You're always so put together. How do you do it?'" she says. "I'm thinking to myself, 'You only see me once a week. Sometimes I don't even get to shower.'"
The truth is, there are a lot of moms out there who feel alone, inadequate and like a failure.
Andrea Gyertson Nasfell can totally relate to what Emanual is describing. So much so that she joined forces with director Jon Erwin to write the script for a movie called "Mom's Night Out," the story of a frazzled mom, Allyson (played by Sarah Drew) and her friends, who long for a peaceful, grown-up evening of dinner and conversation. But in order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation and food not served in a paper bag, they need their husbands to watch the kids for three hours -- what could go wrong?
"This movie was so encouraging to me," says Emanual. "My husband and I laughed out loud at so many of the scenes. We felt like they must have been stalking our family because those very things happen in our home.
"It felt good to know it isn't just us. The craziness we experience happens in every home in America. It really made me know it's OK if things get a little crazy. I need to give myself a break. I have continuously beat myself up over my own definition of being a 'good mom.' I am a good mom and what I do is important."
"Mom's Night Out" opens in theaters on Friday, including ones in Chattanooga. If you are in need of some reassurance as a mom, a good laugh and a moment to appreciate the beautiful mess we call 'family,' you may want to see this film.
Julie Baumgardner is the president and CEO of First Things First. Contact her at julieb@firstthings.org.