Todd GaddisWhen given April 18 as the deadline for my column for the Times Free Press' Voices of Faith, I thought, "Hmmm April 18. Something big is happening that Saturday. Oh, I know. My daughter Rachel is getting married."
As a matter of fact, my other daughter Jessica is getting married June 27, so now you know what's filling my mind and emptying my bank account these days.
With that in mind, I thought I'd use this column to impart a few words of wisdom to my precious girls and their husbands-to-be. Even though Charlene and I have been married almost 32 years, I am no expert on the subject. For that reason, I don't preach on marriage as often as I should. But on this red-letter day in the Gaddis family, I am compelled to pass along these few tidbits of fatherly advice.
* Pray together: It may seem awkward, but it's absolutely necessary. Turn off your electronic devices, snuggle up on the couch and talk with God. It doesn't have to be super long or theologically significant. Just do it. Like us humans, he loves to hear from his children.
And when kids come along, turn this into a family devotion. It sounds trite but is totally true: "The family that prays together, stays together."
* Find a church: You're part of that twentysomething age group that's abandoning the church in droves. Dare to buck the trend. Never mind whether the preacher wears a suit, shaves his head, wears jeans with shirttail out, or has a goatee just find a place, jump in and get involved. You've had over two decades of practice. You'll do fine.
And when you find this extended family, plug in to a small group. Develop friendships with other couples in the congregation and make it a point to socialize outside the walls of the church. Who knows? You may even rescue some wandering sheep along the way.
* Keep dating: I made this challenge to my younger brother and his wife during their wedding a few years ago and some in the crowd laughed nervously. They wondered if I meant they were still free to pursue others. No, no, too late for that, you've narrowed the field down to one. By God's grace, keep the flame burning brightly. This happens when romance is nurtured.
I heard recently of a marriage that went sour. One of the main reasons given was the relationship had become too "business-like." I asked my engaged daughter just the other day, "Are you still in love with Pepper (her fiancé)?" "Of course, Daddy!" Which is exactly the answer I want to hear 32 years from now - if I'm still alive.
One way to stay in love is keep dating each other, that is. Do as many fun things together as you can. Go for long walks, cook something fun together, watch something that makes you laugh. Practice these, along with other creative stuff you dream up together.
* Finally, Take Jesus, marriage and your husband, but not yourself, very seriously: Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). Likewise, you're not going into this relationship primarily to be served. Together you form a team, devoted to serving the Lord, others, and one another.
Who knew my girls, who were born five years apart, would have gone and planned weddings two months apart? I wouldn't doubt if their firstborn children come along a week or two apart in a few years.
Say a little prayer for me as we navigate through these next three months and beyond. God is good. Life's an adventure. I love you, girls.
Todd Gaddis is senior pastor of First Baptist Church in LaFayette, Ga., where he has served since 1999. His 10th book, "Unsearchable Things: Communicate Better with God," is available on Amazon. Read his weekly blog posts at www.toddgaddis.com.