Lisa Denton and Barry Courter
LISA DENTON: Barry, I was just looking at the calendar and realized there are several events that will get us out and about this week.
Not to blow your cover, but I understand you will be at two events in an official capacity. Most notably as a judge of the 4-H competition at the National Cornbread Festival with your lovely wife, Kelley, this weekend in South Pittsburg, Tenn.
But first, there's talk - and it's possible I started it - that you'll also be auditioning for a Shock Theatre role tonight at The Backlot meeting. Technically, they're looking for an actress, but when they mentioned the need for someone with a "classic model physique," I thought they might make an exception for you.
BARRY COURTER: It's like I was born to play the role, right? In addition to the bod thing (check), they are looking for someone with comedic ad lib skills (check) and the ability to speak with "news anchor accuracy" (and check). I'm bringing my "fun girls from Mount Pilot" voice. The part is mine.
Seriously, the Backlot folks meet on the third Thursday of each month at Heritage House in East Brainerd and, if you are remotely interested in the film and television industry, this is a great resource.
And, yes, Kelley and I are looking forward to the Cornbread Festival. I understand you've judged before. Any tips?
LISA: Yes. Bring to-go containers. Judges usually get a fair-size sample, but you have to move on to the next dish after just a couple of bites. And let me tell you, it gets hard to take a bite and, with the same fork, fend off someone trying to throw away your leftovers. It's so uncouth to waste food.
BARRY: Maybe Kelley and I can come up with some sort of ninja back-to-back fighting
stance. Or maybe cargo shorts are the answer.
The other big event, and it is big, is that the Chattanooga Market opens this weekend with a two-day celebration of local crafts, arts and foods. I'm very excited knowing that fresh blueberries, strawberries, tomatoes, corn - well you get the idea - are just around the corner. Remember, folks, these things grow seasonally, and they won't be there all at once, but they are coming.
LISA: Sign me up for strawberries. I did get a little bummed when I heard that Tennessee's strawberry crop might be temporarily delayed because of the cool, wet weather. Lately, it has started to look like a place where the Cullens could go on spring break if they wanted to leave Forks, Wash., for a while. Maybe you could pitch that at the Backlot meeting - a Chattanooga version of the "Twilight" saga. If the Shock Theatre role doesn't come through, of course.
BARRY: Un-possible. It's a lock. Listen to this: "Hello, doll." (Think Daphne.)
LISA: That does have a vague sense of horror to it. And you could base some of Shock Theatre's locally produced horror skits that play during movie breaks on things that happen here on your day job.
BARRY: There are a bunch of Jazzanooga events all over town this week also, and comedian Bill Burr is at Track 29 tonight.
And how could we forget the Ramp Tramp Festival in Reliance, Tenn.? I know you have to explain to people what it is, and what it isn't, all the time.
LISA: Hardeehar. Yes, the emphasis is on the ramp, a wild leek, not the tramp, which in this case means a walk in the woods. Volunteers who want to help dig the ramps can go on an all-day hike Wednesday with folks from the Polk County Extension Office. The really fun part, though, is the festival at Camp McCroy on Saturday. That's the day you get to eat them.
Get event details every Thursday in Chattanooga Now or online anytime at www.ChattanoogaNow.com.
Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281. Contact Barry Courter at bcourter@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6354.