Outside, a banshee wind is screeching and clawing at the windows and doors, ice-slicked roads glitter menacingly and no one wants to make a grocery store run. The only items in the cupboard and fridge are depressing, ordinary snacks.
No worries.
Chattanooga area wine experts promise that the right wine paired with even the most mundane snack can elevate Cheez-Its or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into gourmet treats. Read the story, pick your favorite snack from the list and keep a bottle of the recommended pairing on hand.
Non-drinkers, we've got you covered
People who don't like the taste of alcohol can give cold water or hot chocolate a makeover to make a snack feel more like a meal. Here are some suggestions from Pinterest: * Always have a bag of frozen berries in the house for smoothies. Use frozen blackberries and raspberries instead of ice cubes to make a glass of water prettier and tastier. If you prefer savory to sweet, add thyme leaves or shredded peppermint leaves to ice cubes. * If there's a little bit of OJ, cranberry juice and lemonade left in various bottles, pour them into ice cube trays, freeze the juices and add them into a glass of water. Supposedly, it will taste like a non-alcoholic sangria. * Keep old school Mexican hot chocolate in the cupboard. It often comes in the form of a hard disc. Break off a piece and melt it into hot milk then add cinnamon.
John Lacey Smith, store manager and wine steward at The Vine Wine and Spirits store on Manufacturers Road, shows a bottle of Amarula cream liqueur.And remember, a cheap bottle of wine can be delicious. Just ask someone like our experts to guide you.
The wine experts consulted were The Vine Wine and Spirits manager John Smith in Chattanooga, Riley's Wine and Spirits owner Joshua Hurley in Hixson and Drew Echols, guest services manager at the Bald Headed Bistro in Cleveland, Tenn.
Pizza: This was the easiest of all pairings for our experts. They all suggested a robust red wine blend. It can stand up to the acidity of tomatoes but doesn't overpower the creamy cheese.
Cheez-Its: The crackers are the same orange-ish hue as John Boehner's bronzer, which leads many shoppers to believe the treats are made from some weird cheddar. But the hue is is imbued by the tiny amount of paprika in the ingredients. Cheez-Its are made from a skim milk cheese, which is bland and slightly nutty like Swiss.
Smith and Hurley recommend a burgundy, merlot or Bordeaux-and-merlot blend.
"Also, I think a pinot noir or simple red table wine would be fine; they are Cheez-Its so you don't want to spend too much," Echols says.
"I would get sick to my stomach eating Cheez-Its with a red wine but a nice chardonnay would be perfect," Hurley adds. "I also think champagne would be a good match given the saltiness of the crackers."
Popcorn: "Champagne," Hurley answered promptly, adding that customers should think of champagne as more than a wedding, New Year's or Valentine's Day drink. "A brut or dry champagne is a good complement for salty foods like popcorn and potato chips."
Echols says he would forgo wine for beer and use a light lager as a match.
Chocolate ice cream, Oreos, black & white cookies, chocolate chip cookies: "If the snack contains chocolate, pair it with a rich red blend , the time-honored complement to chocolate. I would suggest a malbec or petit verdot," Smith says
Vanilla ice cream: Everyone loved choosing a yummy liqueur or dessert wine to pour over a frosty scoop. Heat the liqueurs up to reduce the alcohol content and pour them on like hot fudge on a sundae.
"There is a delicious cream liqueur from South Africa made from the marula fruit; it falls from the trees then monkeys and elephants eat it and get drunk," Smith says. "The liqueur has a caramel flavor with a little peppery kick."
Echols chose a classic: Bailey's Irish Cream.
"I would heat up some Prichard's Fudge Brownie Cream Liqueur which is made right here in Tennessee," Hurley says. "I'd use it like chocolate syrup. You could also make a great sundae out of Prichard's Sweet Georgia Belle, which is a peach and mango rum, or Jim Beam Honey."
Ramen noodles: Most folks remember ramen as the cheap food that kept them alive in college when their checking accounts hit a zero balance. It was a tricky food for our team because most people add spices, veggies or slices of hardboiled egg or shredded pork or chicken to the noodles to boost the flavor.
Smith suggested a soft, fruity pinot as a complement to the salty soy sauce that flavors all ramen soups. And everyone agreed that beer is a good companion for the dish, especially if it's a Belgian beer. Echols, however, ultimately chose a Flemish ale to soften the sour broth and calm the spice.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich: Smith took a unique approach -- he would put just a tiny dab of jam on the sandwich and pair it with a sweet fruit-flavored wine.
"I would match the sandwich with a concord grape, pineapple or strawberry wine with the fruit flavors in the alcohol substituting for a fruit jam," he explains.
Echols agrees with Smith that this simple snack has a complex flavor profile that makes it complicated to match. The savory, salty, nutty butter and sweet, fruity jam on floury, yeasty bread offers a lot of contradictory elements. He decided to keep the fruity jam on the sandwich and match the PB&J with a "red wine, a cabernet that is not sweet because you already have the sweet jelly or jam."
Sharp cheddar cheese: If there is a block in the fridge, slice it up and pair it with syrah, cabernet sauvignon, zinfandel or malbec.
Chicken noodle soup: "Use a classic white wine match for roasted chicken like an older chardonnay that has nice, buttery, apple tones, " Echols says. "When you shop for soup, look for low sodium because there tends to be too much salt in canned soup and that alters the taste. I add pepper to my chicken noodle soup and it elevates the meal beyond canned food."
Hurley suggests a pinot grigio to deepen the veggie and roasted chicken flavors.
Canned chili: "Choose a red zinfandel," Smith says. "It has nice peppery tones that go well with chili."
Tortilla chips and salsa: "A rosé is the perfect match for all the flavors; it works with the acidity of cilantro and tomatoes, the saltiness of the chips and sweetness of onions," Smith says.
Echols agrees that the dry pink wine is a good fit and adds that a Mexican beer like a Medellin Negro would also work well "because Mexican made beer tends to have a citrusy lime note that goes well with salsa and salty chips."
Trail mix packed with nuts, raisins, chocolate and granola: Smith and Echols focus on the chocolate, using the traditional match of red wines, but Hurley offers a different direction.
"A gewurztraminer wine is crisp and fruity with delicious cinnamon and nutmeg notes that would complement the raisins, chocolate and nuts," Hurley says. "There's also a popular riesling named Kung Fu Girl that would make this snack taste like a good meal."
Water-packed tuna: "This is a hard one because packing tuna in water tends to draw a lot of the flavor out of the fish, unfortunately," Echols says. "I would go with a dry riesling because tuna has a subtle sweet aftertaste and the pairing would boost that sweetness."
Hurley suggests Bonny Doon Riesling for the same reasons.
Frozen or canned spaghetti with meatballs in a tomato sauce Easy. Everyone agrees an inexpensive Italian red wine or zinfandel can make Chef Boyardee taste more like Chef Mario Batali's cuisine.
Contact Lynda Edwards at ledwards@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6391.