Parents are often in a quandary about how to handle a child who acts contrary at best and possessed at worst. Most moms and dads have tried all kinds of approaches -- from time-out to a freeze on privileges, from a good talking-to and the silent treatment. Some parents apply a few whacks to the posterior as a first resort; others do so as a last-ditch effort to change a kid's behavior. What's best?
The research on spanking is a mixed bag, notes Dr. Ellen Slicker, professor of professional counseling at Middle Tennessee State University and private-practice psychologist. Slicker says it's not unusual, especially in the South, to hear a parent tell a child to go outside and get a branch from the willow tree.
"The parent will say, 'I got whoopins when I was kid, and I turned out alright.' Hitting a child for any reason is not a healthy practice," she says.
Slicker cites Dr. Murray Straus, a leading researcher on this topic, who found that "the more a person was disciplined with corporal punishment as a child, the more likely that partner abuse would be found in that child's later relationships It appears that the more severe, frequent and prolonged the physical punishment, the worse the outcome.
"With these children comes the increased likelihood for depression, suicide, alcohol abuse and abuse of their own children ('intergenerational transmission') over those individuals who did not receive corporal punishment as children."
Slicker says, "When we 'hit' our children, we are teaching them by example that those in power can hit to get their way. If we spank a child for hitting other children, what sort of role model are we providing for them?"
Still, in some cases, spanking may be the only method to change a dangerous or downward trajectory.
"The bottom line is to ask yourself why you are spanking your child," she says. "If it is out of anger; if it is because I can't think of anything else to do; if it is because that's the way I was disciplined, then don't do it. Make sure you have a sound reason for spanking before you impose this on your child; then do so guilt-free."
Slicker notes that, in certain cases, limited and targeted spanking can be effective. She cites Dr. Diana Baumrind, whose research found that "children spanked only occasionally, not severely (e.g. not using wooden spoons, belts paddles, willow branches, etc.) and not impulsively, did not appear to experience any long-term harm."
Baumrind firmly believes that "if administered within an authoritative, warm and caring child-rearing context--infrequent, mild, non-impulsive spanking is not detrimental to the child."
While we are not fans of corporal punishment, it can sometimes be effective if used sparingly, purposefully, and when other means of discipline are inadequate.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of "Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers." Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc. They are available for workshops. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.