I have pastored churches for more than 30 years and, by far, the most fun time and the most stressful time of the church year falls between the Thanksgiving holiday and Christmas.
Don't get me wrong. I love that time of year, and I love going to Christmas parties, and I love all the music and pageantry. But you can get a little too much of a good thing.
When I was younger and at my first pastorate, it was expected that my wife, Marybeth, and I attend every Sunday School class Christmas party. No excuses. We had to be there. Thankfully, my later pastorates have been more understanding when it comes to these unrealistic expectations.
When I pastored River Oak Church in Chesapeake, Va., we had the most unusual holiday traditions. I had planted the church and, for the first nine years of the church's history, we met in a local high school. It was fine to meet in the school for most of the year, but they would not allow us to meet there for the Christmas Eve service. So we decided to host the most unique candlelight service in the Tidewater area. We went out to our future church site on that cold Virginia Christmas Eve, built a huge bonfire, sang Christmas carols, read the Christmas story from the Gospels and lit candles. It was a fun and festive way to celebrate the birth of our savior.
This period was also very stressful when it came to celebrating with our family, who all lived in Georgia and Alabama. After the Christmas Eve celebration, my family and some of the other church staff would find the nearest Chinese place and chow down on some good Oriental food. Then we would head home and go to bed early so we could begin the most grueling part of the holidays - the trip down south.
At that time, we had our three school-age children living at home with us. We had a nine-hour trip to Atlanta and we had to be there by dinner. Therefore, we got up way before our neighbors, had a quick family time under the tree, piled into the trusty minivan and made the long journey to the suburbs of northern Atlanta. We did not stop for anything; dinner was going to be on the table at 6 p.m. sharp and we couldn't be late.
We arrived exhausted but happy at the home of Marybeth's parents in Dunwoody, scarfed down the first good meal we had all day, went into the den, opened presents, then collapsed into bed.
Now, you know that, if we stayed with Marybeth's parents a set length of time, we had to stay that same length of time with my parents. Therefore, we spent 2 1/2 days at her parents, then made the five-hour trip to my parents in rural South Alabama. Once there, my mother had a delicious meal waiting for us, more presents under the tree and more family time. The boys always looked forward to driving Granddad's tractor, target practice and exploring the woods.
Then, it was time for the exhausting trip home. I always felt I needed a vacation after that "vacation."
Several things that my churches did for us during the holiday season that helped us enjoy the holidays:
' They allowed us some time off at the end of the season to see family. So please be sensitive to your church staff during this time of year. They also have families who would like to see them. Many are like us, and we worked right up to Christmas Day.
' They showed their love for us in various ways. I will never forget one kind man who, every year at our Christmas Eve bonfire, would give us a bag of homemade peanut brittle and a crisp $100 bill. We enjoyed sharing that brittle with our families and used the much-needed money for the trip home. Others gave us thoughtful gift cards that they knew we would enjoy.
' They were sensitive about our hectic schedule. They did not have unrealistic expectations concerning the church calendar. Like I said already, we were not expected to be at every party.
' They made our kids feel special. Serving a church is the most unusual place to work. It is usually a family affair. In fact, the church becomes our family. Realize how important you are to the pastor's family. I remember several ladies in Virginia who adopted my kids and served as surrogate grandparents for various school functions when our own grandparents couldn't travel the long distances to attend.
You have the opportunity to make this Thanksgiving/Christmas season the best yet for your church staff. Let them feel your love this year.
Dennis R. Culbreth is the director of missions at the Hamilton County Baptist Association, which is made up of 107 Southern Baptist churches in the Chattanooga area. Before coming to HCBA, Culbreth pastored churches for more than 30 years. He and his wife, Marybeth, have three grown children.