Lisa Denton and Barry Courter
BARRY COURTER: Lisa, have you heard the latest song from The Moron Brothers called "If My Nose Was Running Money?" The chorus has a line that goes "If my nose was running money, honey, I'd blow it all on you." It's a love song, and it'll make you cry in the same way "Don't Hit Your Grandma With a Great Big Stick" makes Charlene Darling cry on "The Andy Griffith Show."
LISA DENTON: That there is some poetry all right. And you are correct; I did tear up when I read it. If the Moron Brothers - Burley and Lardo - are touring outside of Kentucky, I haven't heard about it. But it would be nice to say I've been hanging out with Morons and be able to spell it with a capital letter.
BARRY: Hey! I think I've just been insulted. But I really didn't have a point in bringing it up, just thought it was funny.
LISA: I thought all that was to remind me that "Weird Al" Yankovic is coming. If we're talking brilliant lyricists, he certainly belongs on that list. Plus he plays accordion - sexy.
"Weird Al," of course, is the Grammy-winning mind behind such songs as "Eat It" (based on Michael Jackson's "Beat It"), "Like a Surgeon" (Madonna's "Like a Virgin") and "Amish Paradise" (Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"). He'll be at the Tivoli on Saturday on his Mandatory World Tour.
BARRY: Seems almost mandatory that everyone go to this show. His "White & Nerdy" song from the "Straight Outta Lynwood" album is a brilliant parody of Chamillionaire's "Ridin'." Did you know that not every artist gives "Weird Al" the OK to skewer their songs? None other than Macca (that's what us cool people call Paul McCartney) said no. Apparently "Weird Al" wanted to parody "Live and Let Die" with a track called "Chicken Pot Pie." Macca was fine with the idea of his stuff being altered, but he didn't want to give even the slightest hint that eating meat was OK; he is a hardcore vegetarian. "Weird Al" has said he didn't think he could make "Tofu Pot Pie" work.
LISA: I'm a fan, but that story makes me think Sir Paul (that's what I have to call him) needs to lighten up. It's not like people ate more Oscar Mayer after hearing "My Bologna." They should have just put a spoken disclaimer at the end that said, "No chickens were harmed in the making of this song, and all of the royalties are going to PETA."
BARRY: Don't forget there are still plenty of Fourth of July fireworks events going on today, so people need to put the dogs up one more night. There are celebrations in communities all around us with a couple of the bigger ones taking place on Signal Mountain and in LaFayette, Calhoun, Dunlap and up by you in Soddy-Daisy.
LISA: Yee-haw!
BARRY: We should remind people that the fireworks on Signal Mountain will not, repeat not, take place at Althaus Park near the golf course as they have for decades. They have been moved to Shackleford Ridge Park behind the Signal Mountain Middle/High School.
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Contact Barry Courter at bcourter@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6354. Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281.