What is love?
The whole world seeks it, but few seem to find it. We have a day in our calendar that symbolizes young love, or perhaps we should say "fascination," with someone. It's called Valentine's Day.
There are many degrees found in this word "love." There is what we call "puppy love," short-lived and often irrational passion for someone. It usually happens in the teenage years but rarely matures.
The Greeks had at least two kinds of love described in the Bible. One is "agapao/agape," a pure love that expresses itself in a self-sacrificing way. It is used often in the Bible to show God's love through Jesus Christ. It is totally given for the benefit of the object of love and is best expressed in John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."
The Greeks also described "phileo," more of a deep friendship love, a reciprocal love in which you are kind to me and I reciprocate.
The opposite of love is not hate but indifference, treating one's spouse as a non-person. These and related attitudes need to be dealt with on a daily basis, if necessary.
Christian writer Warren Wiersbe has good advice for those contemplating marriage: "If you do get married and you want to serve the Lord, choose the kind of Christian mate who is pleased when you please the Lord."
The important thing is for the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. A husband should sacrifice himself for the benefit of wife and children. This is a big responsibility for those of us who are husbands.
In response, the wife is to love and respect her husband. This can become a precious cycle - the more the husband loves his wife the more she respects him and the more she respects him the more he loves her. Around and around it goes.
A husband and wife are a team. Each one has a role to play in God's great design for marriage. Each partner contributes to the blending of a relationship that is satisfying to each and honoring to God.
Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. In times of illness, loss of job or extreme stress, one of the partners may have to carry more than his/her share of the load. This is where the grace of God comes in. His grace is sufficient for each mate.
And it's also where prayer comes in. When each mate is praying for the other, God will answer and even out the load. God's way is not: What can I get from this relationship, but what can I give?
After 65 years of marriage, my wife and I have learned that God's grace is the answer to our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. My wife approved this message.
Guy Templeton was pastor in Ohio for 23 years and has taught in Bible schools for 22 years. He and his wife Carol are members of Calvary Baptist Church in Red Bank. Contact him at guytemp1eton1@gmail.com.