Kennedy: Quarter Pounders are comfort food

Voracious hunger coupled with the end of a two-year dietary burger break made for an almost spiritual experience eating the new "fresh meat" Quarter Pounder. (Photo by Mark Kennedy)
Voracious hunger coupled with the end of a two-year dietary burger break made for an almost spiritual experience eating the new "fresh meat" Quarter Pounder. (Photo by Mark Kennedy)

With all the change that swirls around us these days, it's good to have a few constants in your life - little things that make you happy, year after year, no matter what.

For me, these small, culture comforts include the television show "60 Minutes," the NFL's Pittsburgh Steelers and the McDonald's Quarter Pounder.

I'll be 60 years old in May, so the number of cultural icons from my boyhood still in the mainstream grow fewer every year. But I can still count on these three comforts as the decades pass.

When that stopwatch starts ticking on the TV on Sunday nights, I'm transported mentally back to a family room in a little duplex in Middle Tennessee.

photo Mark Kennedy

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There, sprawled on the brown shag carpeting, a 10-year-old me would watch "60 Minutes" on Tuesday nights with my dad on our 25-inch Magnavox console television. We shared an interest in current events and loved the news magazine featuring Harry Reasoner and Mike Wallace. Even at age 10, I remember thinking that 1968 was a crazy year, politically and culturally, and that I should probably pay attention.

A few years later, in 1972, I watched the Magnavox in amazement as Pittsburgh Steelers running back Franco Harris magically pulled in a ricocheted touchdown pass in a December playoff game against the Oakland Raiders that would set the tone for four Super Bowl victories for the Men of Steel in the 1970s.

Harris' shoestring catch, which came to be known among football fans as the Immaculate Reception, would have probably been nullified today by slow-motion instant replay (which I honestly hate), but to a 14-year-old boy it seemed like a sign from above. From that day forward, I've been a Steelers fan.

As soon as McDonald's Golden Arches came to my hometown in 1974, it became a social and gastronomical hub for young people.

Soon after I got a driver's license in the spring of 1974, I would take my Saturday lunch breaks from my job at Derryberry's Drug Store in downtown Columbia, Tenn., to drive to the local McDonald's in my dad's 1957 Buick Special sedan - a car so tank-like that it appeared to have chrome bullet holes in the front quarter panels. These were actually aircraft-inspired Ventiports, a.k.a. faux cooling vents.

Anyway, I would answer my growling stomach with a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and Coke. Over the years, I downsized the fries and switched to Diet Coke, but I never stopped lusting after QP's with their peppery, onion-infused flavor.

A couple of years ago, I was having some major stomach issues and decided to give up burgers and most other forms of red meat. Occasionally, I would have a Quarter Pounder craving, but I was always able to fight it off until last Saturday.

Several recent news articles about McDonald's new "fresh meat" Quarter Pounders had piqued my interest and lowered my defenses. While in Gatlinburg at a soccer tournament with our younger son, I decided to throw caution to the wind and order a Quarter Pounder at a McDonald's drive-through.

Back in the hotel room, I lovingly unwrapped my burger. Even cold, the familiar smells and textures of the Quarter Pounder filled me up as I chewed each bite beyond the 30 reps recommended for quality digestion.

"Hmm," I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Daddy, you OK?" my son asked.

"Uh-hmm," I smiled, still chewing.

My two-year dietary burger break, combined with the intoxicating prospect of that new "fresh meat" taste, on top of my voracious hunger last Saturday made this an almost spiritual experience.

Too, my stomach never objected, which was a major relief.

Like an addict who has fallen off the wagon, my Quarter Pounder fixation was immediately back in full force. By Monday, I was sitting at the McDonald's in Lookout Valley contemplating another Quarter Pounder.

I immediately found myself having crazy thoughts: "Monday is technically a whole different week than Saturday, so two Quarter Pounders in two weeks isn't that bad. Also, without cheese they are only 430 calories, so technically I could eat four Quarter Pounders a day and not surpass my 2,000-calorie a day limit as long as I skip the fries and drink diet soda."

Within 48 hours, I went from a two-year Quarter Pounder hiatus to rationalizing eating four Quarter Pounders in a day.

I might need treatment.

But part of me thinks it's worth it. After all, an impulse that makes you happy for 45 years is probably going to be impossible to resist.

And maybe a small order of fries wouldn't kill me.

Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or contact me at 423-757-6645.

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