Bumper stickersIn a world where almost all outdoor lovers drive small, foreign-made SUVs with roof racks, stickers are the way many choose to set their rides apart. And to help find their car in the 2 North Shore parking lot.
MINOR TRIBES
The Trendy KillerDistinguishing marks: Anything with antlers, a skull or bonesDeer antler stickers made to match the color of the truck (and it's always a truck), give the impression that the driver not only is a hunter, but has a sense of style. Driver may or may not actually use the high-end brand advertised by the sticker.The Enthusiastic DrinkerDistinguishing marks: Sweetwater, Highland Brewing, Yazoo, Dogfish Head or some other craft beerThese stickers show the tribe member's enthusiasm and appreciation for refined, unique beer. Isn't this a conversation starter for anyone with a breathalyzer and blue lights?The HecklerDistinguishing marks: "Honk if you hate noise pollution" "0.0 mi" "No one cares about your stick family"Get ready to get a little meta. Stickers that refer to and play off of other stickers show just how far the sticker tribe culture has come. It's like sharing an inside joke with everyone else who drives a car.The MinimalistDistinguishing marks: Anything as long as its only oneMembers of this tribe have a single sticker on the hatch, glass or bumper. It leads others to wonder if A) they want to draw attention to a single important sticker, B) they are just starting a collection and are on their way to another tribe or C) they stuck their first sticker and regretted it, but can't peel it off.The Probably-Not-From-'Round-HereDistinguishing marks: Colorado flag, Steamboat Springs, RMNP, Breckenridge, VailThe license plate may say Hamilton County, but the stickers say they aren't locals. At least they didn't include an insult like "I'd rather be in Colorado."
Just like a fresh and crisp backpack or a pair of dirty, worn boots gives you an impression of the wearer, the stickers on the back of a car can tell a lot about the driver. Edmund King, the former executive director of Britain's Royal Automobile Club Foundation for Motoring has been quoted as saying he thinks stickers are very revealing.
"The car sticker is a badge of belonging," King is said to have explained. "It clearly distinguishes the tribe with which its owner identifies. Drivers who personalize their cars with stickers are giving away much more about their character than they think." If that's the case, Chattanooga has some pretty distinct tribes. Here's a regrettably unscientific look at the fellow outdoor sticker collectors you've probably seen around town.
ESCAPIST
The complete opposite of the live-in-the-moment YOLO crowd, this tribe lets passersby know they wish they were elsewhere. No matter where they are or what they're doing, their car says "I'd rather be fishing." Or snowboarding. Or camping. Or sailing. A Google search for "Sticker: I'd rather be" reveals more than 30 outdoor stickers for sale-from noodling to diving with sharks to metal detecting. How does it feel to be a friend or family member hosting this tribe?
"Don't take it personal, but my Forester clearly says I'd rather be at Crossfit than here at your cookout." More importantly, does God read these stickers when they're parked at church?
Distinguishing marks: "I'd rather be ..."
The next sticker they get will be: None. They'd rather be hiking/ soaring/paddling than looking for new stickers.
Most likely to be seen on: Small, foreign SUVs with roof racks and unhappy drivers.
ACRONYM-OPHILE
Several websites, including snopes.com, attribute the rise of the now familiar white oval with two- to six-letter acronym stickers to Europe's country codes. Imposed in the 60s and 70s, the white oval labels identify a vehicle's country of registration. In the late 90s and early 2000s-when European things like the Spice Girls and clear "Euro" taillights were popular in the U.S.-the stickers arrived in force on this side of the Atlantic. Now practically every trail, state park, historic site or other attraction has a coded white oval. This explosion in popularity has given Acronym-ophiles the chance to make the hatch of their vehicle look like an explosion of alphabet soup.
Distinguishing marks: GSMNP, LBL, YNP, OBX, PCT, etc.
The next sticker they get will be: Unknown, but it will certainly be some jumble of letters.
Most likely to be seen on: Small, foreign SUVs with roof racks.
FREEBIE-SEEKER
There's nothing wrong with having low standards. This tribe is more about finding a cheap and easy sticker score than having a meaningful relationship to what is adhered to the back of their vehicle. And that's OK. Once the vinyl has adhered to the paint, they're fine. The awkward part for Freebie-seekers comes in knowing which stickers are free. Nobody wants to be called out by the clerk for trying to walk off with a 50-cent sticker and then have to put it back when you find the place charges an exorbitant half-dollar for it.
Distinguishing marks: Rock Creek, Make Chattanooga Weird, L2 Boards, River Rocks (or RVR ROX), Outdoor Chattanooga, Bike Chattanooga, Mojo Burrito and anything else they could get for free
The next sticker they get will be: Whatever sits next to the register at their next destination
Most likely to be seen on: Small, foreign SUVs with roof racks that were purchased at a good discount.
MULTITASKER
Occasionally, Chattanooga drivers catch a glimpse of a rear hatch representing such a dizzying variety of activities it can only be one of two tribes: the Freebie-Seeker (see previous page) or the Multitasker.The difference between the two-often difficult to tell from the highway-is that one of the tribes has done the things in the sticker. The other just has sticky fingers when they get close to the checkout counter.Multitaskers often leave other drivers envious. "How does that guy have time to earn "26.2" and "100" stickers, enjoy the Salt Life, YOLO on his SUP, be involved with cave conservation, climb the Red River Gorge and support his school's crew team?" It leaves you wondering if they've got a car full of athletes with diverse interests, or a solo driver with extremely busy weekends.
Distinguishing marks: Some combination of stickers from Suck Creek Cycle, Cloudland Canyon, Appalachian Trail, Billabong, Jackson Kayak, 26.2, TRI, Browning and Five Ten
The next sticker they get will be: Whatever they try next Most likely to be seen on: Small, foreign SUVs with roof racks driving quickly to the next event.
ENVIRO-EVANGELIST
Spreading the word about the evils of mountaintop removal, habitat destruction and fracking is a noble goal. If a tribe member is uber-passionate about a conservation topic, it only makes sense that such a passion would bleed over to their rear bumper. But as an outreach tool, it's easy to wonder if a bumper sticker does anything to offset the fossil fuels used in the vinyl making process. A Google search for "A bumper sticker changed my life" only yields one result, and it's about Catholicism rather than conservation.
Distinguishing marks: "Be Green" "Save the Ocean, Save the World" "Wetlands are for the Birds" "No Tar Sands" "Stop Fracking"
The next sticker they get will be: "Save something" or "Stop something" Most likely to be seen on: Hybrid small, foreign SUVs with roof racks.
FADED GLORY
These outdoorsmen and women are clinging to their hobbies the way their faded adhesive vinyl squares are gripping their clear coat and safety glass. It takes a special sticker to hang on through a decade of rainy highways and searing parking lots, just like it takes a lot to overcome aching knees and stiff backs to hit the trail or slide into a kayak. Like the stickers, tribe members may have a few extra cracks and wrinkles, but if you see a fading New River Gorge Bridge Day 1997 emblem, or one of the old logo Rock Creek green ovals, the sticker and the driver both deserve props for hanging in there.
Distinguishing marks: Unidentifiable, bleached shapes stuck to the vehicle's bumper or any sticker whose date starts with a "19."
The next sticker they get will be: Why do they need a new sticker? The old ones work just fine.
Most likely to be seen on: High-mileage, small, foreign SUVs with roof racks parked at trailheads early in the morning before the rest of the crowd wakes up.