When you've allowed yourself to be marketed as King James without winning so much as one NBA title in seven years, you're obviously not into understatement. You crave the spotlight like most of us crave oxygen. You believe to say it's so is to make it so, even when all the evidence points to the contrary.
So it wasn't enough for LeBron James to shamelessly have his handlers buy up an hour of ESPN's airtime on Thursday night to announce he was leaving his home region of Cleveland and the NBA's Cavaliers to join Miami's Heat.
He had to turn up the hype this morning on ABC's Good Morning America, then tweet Heat fans the following message: "The road to history starts now."
Problem is, Dwyane Wade has already made history in Miami by leading the Heat to its only NBA title and winning MVP in the process. Beyond that, can James keep calling himself a King when even he admits this is Wade's team?
Ultimately, every basketball team must have but one alpha dog. So what does that make the player formerly known as King James _ Prince Jimmy?
Yet the best part of all of this is that James's former owner Dan Gilbert upstaged this whole uncomfortable spectacle with a scathing e-mail to the Cavs fans following "The Decision," as ESPN billed it.
Wrote an arguably out-of-control Gilbert roughly an hour after the show ended: "You (the fans) simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal. You have given so much and deserve so much more. In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight: I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF_TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE. You can take it to the bank."
And Gilbert was just getting started.
"Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there," his rant continued. "Sorry, but that's simply not how it works. This shocking act of disloyalty from our home-grown 'chosen one' sends the exact opposite lesson of what we wouls want our children to learn."
Full disclosure is in order here. The market value of the Cavs reportedy increased by $100 million during James's time there. Of perhaps greater significance, ABC News reported today that some analysts believe that value slipped by $250 million overnight in the wake of the player's departure.
Still, whether it's the dissolution of a marriage, a friendship or a job, most relationships end badly.
So the bitter image of Cleveland Cavaliers fans burning No. 23 LeBron James jerseys after he chose to leave Ohio for Miami's Heat was somewhat understandable Thursday evening.
James can say, as he did, "I feel awful that I'm leaving. I feel worse that I couldn't give them a championship."
And he no doubt does. He grew up in nearby Akron. This was home. And when the 2003 draft rolled around, Cleveland picked their homegrown hero to deliver high hope to a cynical city that hasn't celebrated a professional title of any kind since the 1964 Browns.
"I gave them my blood, sweat and tears every night for seven years," James added. "I took them places they'd never been before."
But he couldn't take them to the mountaintop. So now he's gone to the beach, South Beach, to try to not win just one NBA crown with lots of help from Wade and Chris Bosh, who agreed to leave Toronto for the Heat earlier this week.
"Those are two great players," said James on ESPN. "You add me, we're going to be a really good team."
Yes, they are. Wade and James are arguably two of the league's top three talents, the third being Kobe Bryant, he of the five NBA championship rings, including the last two.
But will they be great? Are there enough basketballs to go around? More important, are there enough complimentary players?
Even James noted during his on-hour show on ESPN: "It's not a super team right now because we don't even have enough players to fill a roster. A team is not built on three guys, it's a whole organization."
But the head of the Heat organization is Pat Riley, who could sell fur coats to sun bathers. Heck, he convinced James to leave a reported $29 million on the table to spurn the Cavs in favor of the Heat.
And roster players or not, the love fest is already in full swing.
After the announcement, ESPN's Michael Wilbon noted: "I think they'll win three (NBA titles) in four years."
Added cohort Jon Barry, who argued before the show that James would be better off going to the Chicago Bulls if his goal was to win championships: "Two (titles) in five years."
It's never that easy, of course. The Lakers aren't going anywhere as they eye a three-peat for coach Phi Jackson, who is expected to retire at the close of next season.
Beyond that, how will Wade and James, however close their personal friendship, co-exist on that rare night when one or the other takes the last shot and misses to lose a game?
Will they think, 'I would have made that shot if I'd had the chance'? Will they demand the ball the next time, arguing that the other one missed the last one? Will teammates take sides?
Talk about turning up the Heat.
But all of that will sort itself out in the months to come. For this morning, it seems fitting to throw a figurative hug and tissue toward Cleveland and its 46-year drought from championship sports.
This was their guy, one of them, Ohio through and through. But seven years is also a long time to swing and miss time and time again.
James reportedly told Wade on Wednesday, "I don't want to be 31, with bad knees and no titles."
And maybe you can't blame Prince Jimmy. But when you've gone 46 years with no titles, it's also tough to blame Cleveland for taking a little heat of their own to a former hero's jersey.
Oh, well, at least they'll always have Gilbert's letter to keep them warm.