Author Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original advice columnist Dear Abby, poses for a photo in Los Angeles, Friday, Oct. 5, 2007.DEAR ABBY: I am a 91-year-old woman. In 1958, I married a man every woman would love to have. I had two boys from a previous marriage, and this wonderful man adopted them. In 1963, before homosexuality was openly accepted, I discovered that my oldest son was gay. I came unglued. My husband took me in his arms and said, "Honey, he is no different today than he was yesterday." The rest is a long story, but this wonderful man -- a stepfather -- gave acceptance to his son and taught it to me. His words helped me value my son as the person he is. I hope they will help another parent. -- EVER GRATEFUL MOTHER, SANTA ROSA, CALIF.
DEAR GRATEFUL MOTHER: You married a wise, compassionate man. Thank you for sharing an important message for other parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning children.
DEAR ABBY: I'm an alcoholic. My husband blames it for everything that goes wrong. I love my husband and don't want to leave him. However, he is blind to similarities to his overeating and smoking. I'm at my wit's end. He refuses to see that I could be as nasty as he is and say things like, "You're not supposed to smoke," or, "You're overweight and shouldn't eat that." I'm sick of being humiliated and tired of feeling I owe him something because he "overlooks" me being an alcoholic. How can I get him to see that these are addictions and he should quit looking down his nose at me? -- HUMILIATED IN TEXAS
DEAR HUMILIATED: The more your husband draws attention to your problem, the less he is forced to confront his own addictions. It allows him to feel superior and benefits him because it makes him an object of sympathy. This is neither helpful nor healthy for either of you. You cannot change another person. But a licensed mental health professional may help you understand why you tolerate your husband's behavior -- and give you insight into why you drink the way you do.