Cook: Hold my beer and pass this law

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David Cook tile
photo Gun tile

It was Gun Week in Nashville, that bacchanalia-and-bullets time of year when legislators unload all sorts of gun-related bills on the floor of the Tennessee Legislature.

"More than 50 proposals," the Tennessean reported.

The timing couldn't be better; next month, the National Rifle Association holds its annual convention in Nashville. These bills were the legislative fine china, Nashville's way of rolling out the red carpet.

Some bills won't make it out of committee. Some will. What matters is the Rambo culture out of which they emerge. These bills aren't just brazen and foolish policy, they are spiritually sick.

What follows is a genuine, honest-to-Heston list of some of the bills. And don't forget: A few years ago, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention listed Tennessee as sixth in the nation for accidental shooting deaths.

1. Guns at schools (Senate bill 070/House 481)

This bill would allow anyone with a handgun carry permit to bring guns to school, as long as they are stored in their parked car.

On Tuesday, the bill was passed by the Senate Judiciary Committee, which includes local senators Todd Gardenhire and Mike Bell, who both voted yes.

2. Handguns at work (SB 168/HB 202)

Current law allows anyone with a handgun permit to keep his or her gun in their parked car at work.

This bill would prohibit business owners from doing anything about it. Any business owner that interferes would be liable for "civil damages."

Committees in the Senate and House did not discuss this bill.

3. Guns in parks (SB 1171/HB 995)

In 2009, the Legislature allowed handgun carry permit holders to bring guns in Tennessee parks, but also allowed local governments the authority to opt out - no guns in Coolidge Park, for example - if they so chose.

This bill erases that.

"This bill removes the present law provision whereby local governments may prohibit a handgun carry permit holder from carrying a handgun in a public park," the bill states.

Tuesday, it passed the Senate Judiciary Committee, with yes votes from Bell and Gardenhire.

4. No more background checks (SB 1239/HB 1112)

Would allow gun dealers to sell handguns without conducting a background check.

The only catch? The buyer has to have a carry permit.

5. No more carry permits (SB 780/HR 535)

The only catch?

There is none.

The boldest of all the bills, this legislation would allow any legal gun owner to carry a gun - openly or concealed - without any permit required.

"Regardless of whether the person has a handgun permit," the bill states.

The Senate Judiciary Committee plans to discuss this on March 31.

6. Carry like a cop (SB 628/HB 320)

Anyone with a handgun permit would now be allowed to carry guns with the same freedoms as off-duty police officers. Right now, off-duty cops are only prohibited from carrying in three circumstances: On school grounds (unless they tell the principal), in courtrooms or if they are drinking.

This bill would erase the distinctions between off-duty cops and handgun permit holders. Anywhere the former can carry, so can the latter.

7. Exploding targets (SB 874/HB 934)

This bill would decriminalize explosives - like Tannerite - used for sport. Think shooting things that explode. It is the legislative version of "hold my beer and watch this."

"Indianapolis Metro Police Bomb Squad says [T]annerite and explosives like it have no business in the hands of anyone other than trained professionals," said the Safe Tennessee Project, a state group calling for reasonable responses to these bills. "The US Forest service says it can ignite forest fires and the FBI warns that it could be used to manufacture IEDs."

Tuesday, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted for its passage. Bell and Gardenhire? Yep.

8. The Tennessee state gun

This bill would designate the old-school, single-action Remington - think Wild West cowboys - as Tennessee's official state gun.

Ha. Only teasing.

I made this one up.

In the real bill - SB 783 and HB 677, which has 34 co-sponsors - it's not a Remington.

The Tennessee state gun would be a .50 caliber Barrett semi-automatic rifle used by snipers and armies across the world.

Contact David Cook at dcook@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6329. Follow him on Facebook at DavidCookTFP.

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