Robin SmithThe civil unrest and social dysfunction that has dominated news broadcasts seem to shock our conscience.
Really? In all intellectual honesty, how can we possibly be surprised at the current state of affairs when individuals have embraced, and, further, worked to implement on an institutional level practices and policies that incentivize much of this behavior?
While agreeing that there should be absolutely no tolerance of police brutality (which seems to be identified as the main culprit in much of the recent unrest), let's look at a few facts.
Parents are the first teachers of all behavior and conduct.
It's in the home at the hands of a mother, father, or extended mix of family that a child learns respect, honesty, integrity and dignity. Adults who avoid teaching the basics of humanity in their homes, who abandon their responsibility to set expectations, are at the root of much of our chaos.
If a child has no curfew -- as a 5-year-old or a 15-year-old, that same child will ignore time constraints and norms of a schedule as he or she grows into adulthood.
If a child is not expected to be truthful and respectful in the home, that child will be a problem and will be disruptive in any situation where authority exists -- school, place of employment, or the community at large.
Why is there such disregard for authority in our culture among some, whether in the form of law enforcement, teachers, supervisors at work or the structure in place that serves our society's function? Simply because parents, as first teachers, are not parenting. This transcends socioeconomic status and educational attainment.
When countless links and books can be found to serve as resources for teachers to "teach respect," such as Dr. Michele Borba's "35 Activities Your Students Can Do to Learn Respect" and a 12-part DVD series "Respecting Others," to be used for lesson plans, the situation is clear: Teachers are expected to do the jobs of parents who refuse. That is unacceptable.
Many people long for a day to see learning as the centerpiece of education, not socialization or discipline. Yet, if there's no curfew at home, then don't feign surprise when a child breaks curfew publicly. If there's disrespect of adults in the home, it's guaranteed there will be disrespect of adults outside the home.
There are no perfect humans alive today and all children will test boundaries and even pursue a moment of rebellion. But if parents fail to be the authority figure in the home as the first teachers and fail to model behavior that instills intrinsic worth to their children such as character, honesty, and decency, blame no one else.
Dr. Ben Carson, the African-American retired neurosurgeon now running for president, whose mother is from Chattanooga, had a poem by Mayme White Miller, "Yourself to Blame," frequently recited to him as she was determined to raise her children and teach them the values they would need:
If things go bad for you
And make you a bit ashamed
Often you will find out that
You have yourself to blame
Swiftly we ran to mischief
And then the bad luck came
Why do we fault others?
We have ourselves to blame
Whatever happens to us,
Here is what we say
"Had it not been for so-and-so
Things wouldn't have gone that way."
And if you are short of friends,
I'll tell you what to do
Make an examination,
You'll find the faults in you ...
You are the captain of your ship,
So agree with the same
If you travel downward
You have yourself to blame
Robin Smith is a former chairwoman of the Tennessee Republican Party and owner of Rivers Edge Alliance.