Greeson: Bits and pieces for Memorial Day weekend

Jay Greeson

Mayfield, a noted area ice cream maker, announced some new flavors this week.

Hey, it's summertime, a perfect reason for baseball, ice cream and new things.

The famous brand in the yellow carton -- and the familiar spokesman in bow tie-clad Scottie Mayfield -- added Sea Salt Caramel Cheesecake, Eggnog, Cherry Chocolate Chip, Peppermint Stick and Yellow Brick Road.

Yummie.

Here, in honor of David Letterman's last week, is a top 10 list of the potential flavors that did not make Maggie the Cow's final cut: Bowtie Pasta (sorry, Scottie); Speed Stick; Scattered, Smothered and Covered; Loogie the Lookout; Franks and Beans; Horse Apple; Pepper Lint; Yellow Colored Snow; Cut the Cheesecake; Strawberry Toe Jam.

Find this story on timesfreepress.com or go to Facebook.com/timesfreepress to offer up some other almost-new Mayfield Ice Cream flavors.

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Bin Laden, done that

OK, so among the treasure trove of knickknacks found during the raid and killing of Osama bin Laden was a terrorist job application.

Now, terrorism is hardly a joke, and here's saying that the day our brave soldiers bagged bin Laden should be a national holiday. Hey, bankers need at least three more days off a year.

But an actual al-Qaida job application is crazy.

A big chunk of it seems run-of-the-mill, although the "Have you been convicted of a crime" question certainly suggests a different spectrum of acceptable.

The top of the application reads: "In the name of Allah the compassionate and merciful" before an instruction to write clearly and legibly. So along with Western infidels, Allah hates bad penmanship. Duly noted.

Here are some other questions:

Any hobbies or pastimes? (Somehow "collecting baseball cards" or watching 1990s comedies likely would not be well-received.)

What is your favorite material: science or literature? (Science. Always go science.)

Are any of your relatives or friends in the jihad theater? (Man, even al-Qaida has nepotism concerns.)

Do you wish to execute a suicide operation? (Tricky one here. You say no, you seem like a coward. You say yes, and you are assuredly going to get the opportunity.)

What objectives would you like to accomplish on your jihad path? (Doubting "Would like a management position with weekends off and full benefits" is not what al-Qaida is looking for.)

Do you have any chronic or hereditary disease(s)? (And yes, insanity can be hereditary.)

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State's new logo

It's been a tough year for the Volunteer State. There has been no shortage of controversy involving state lawmakers and administration officials.

Now comes the latest outrage: the decision to pay a design firm $46,000 for a new logo. While $46,000 is ashtray change in the state budget, the bang for the buck was brutal.

Nevermind that the state's current three-star logo is fine but the new one is to exciting design what the semicolon is to creative writing.

It's a square with a white TN against an orange background.

Hope the kindergartener who did it doesn't blow the whole $46 grand on Crayolas and Mayfield Ice Cream.

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Litigious society

Among the biggest ripple effects that truly has changed our society is our over litigious nature in which everyone sues anyone for anything at any time.

All of the ticky-tack rules from every organization can be traced to the effort to close every potential lawsuit loophole.

Two of the latest examples of this are head-scratching.

Al Sharpton's daughter Dominique is suing the city of New York because she tripped on uneven pavement and sprained her ankle. For that, she's asking for $5 million.

Then there's this story: A woman sued a collection agency for falsely taking her to court over a $1,000 debt that actually belonged to someone else. OK, maybe she needed the court's help in the matter and there was likely some cost and time spent and maybe even some anguish on her part. But she sued and was awarded almost $83 million. Egad.

Jay Greeson's column appears on Page A2 on Thursdays and Saturdays. His sports columns are scheduled for Tuesdays and Fridays. You can read his online column the "5-at-10" Monday through Friday at times freepress.com after 10 a.m. Contact him at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com and follow him on Twitter at @ jgreesontfp.