Greeson: An anniversary, a heart and an obit all married in meaning

Jay Greeson

There were three "marriage" and wedding stories over the weekend that caught my attention.

First, there was a New Jersey man who passed away last week and had two obituaries submitted to the local paper. Apparently, stacked in order among the daily listing of the recently deceased, there were two announcements of Leroy Bill Black's death in the Press Atlantic City.

The first reported ol' Leroy was survived by his wife and son. The second stated that Leroy - or maybe it's Bill, because, well, who knows at this point - was survived by several siblings, a son and his longtime girlfriend.

Here's betting that was a firework-filled funeral.

Next was a made-for-Hollywood moment that surprisingly had not been originally part of the silver screen.

A Pittsburgh-area woman named Jeni Stepien got married Saturday, with Arthur Thomas walking her down the aisle. Jeni had never met Thomas before, but she knew he had a good heart.

Thomas got Jeni's father's heart in a transplant a decade ago after her father was murdered, and Thomas had been languishing on a transplant list for more than 15 years.

"I'm so excited. The whole family is here now. It's like everybody is here," Jeni told the Associated Press.

Wow.

Each story was more meaningful to me this weekend because Sunday I celebrated 12 years of marriage to my best friend, Kathleen.

A dozen years for a lot of older generations seems as noteworthy as a checkmark on a frequent-flier list. (Wrong comparison - checkmark on a grocery list?)

According to census stats, right at 60 percent of marriages in our country today have reached 10 years. But the numbers from there start to decline. Only 52 percent reach 15 years, and one-third get to the 25th Silver Anniversary.

A lack of family structure and foundation certainly is part of our country's vexing problems with crime, poverty and wage stagnation, among others.

Sure, dad, mom, 2.2 kids and the family pet are long part of this country's Rockwellian image. But we all know there are great fathers who have never been married and terrible ones who have been married for decades.

To pretend the answer is as simple as two parents at home is a myth.

It's a myth that stems, in a lot of ways, from the believability of Mr. Black's final announcement.

Does family matter? Of course it does.

Simply put, when we ask what are we going to do to solve our problems as a society, it may behoove us to find the answer to what we are going to do to solve the problems within our family. Even in the closest of relationships, embracing the heavy burden that is personal responsibility is paramount.

We all have work to do; that's not an indictment. But are we all willing to do the work?

After 12 years, I've learned as much from my wife as anyone this side of my parents. She's kind and determined and talented and smart. She and I are blessed to be sure, but we also work at our relationship for each other and our family.

It's about sacrifice, heart and staying true.

Lessons we got from all sides of discussion this weekend.

Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com and 423-757-6343. His "Right to the Point" column appears on A2 on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.