Jay GreesonWhich is a bigger surprise: Hillary being investigated for her emails or Trump doing Trump things?
Isn't that the ultimate testament of where we are in this presidential election?
As we head into the final stretch of the presidential race, what was the last positive revelation of either candidate you can recall? In fact, is there anyway to expect anything but the next round of bad news with this duo?
And to go a step further, are we actually doing a disservice to the word "candidate" with the choices we are reviewing in this presidential race? Maybe we should call them can't-idates.
Know this: I voted early, and man was I tempted to leave my ballot blank. I didn't, but the fact that I read every name and still did not want to vote screams volumes.
Playing dress-up
We'll start to see some Halloween costumes this weekend. The actual trick-or-treat day is Monday, of course.
Earlier this month, Wal-Mart pulled the "Tranny Granny" Halloween costume from its shelves because it was potentially offensive.
We get it. Everything offends someone. Yada, yada, yada.
That said, if we are going to start classifying Halloween costumes on the "acceptable" scale, then maybe we should just do away with Halloween altogether.
Slasher costumes are OK, but dressing up in drag is offensive. For Pete's sake, almost every costume this side of the old-school bed sheet as a ghost could cross the line.
Wal-Mart is OK selling a costume called "The Female Flasher," a costume of alleged pedophile Michael Jackson, and a female SWAT police costume that is way more stripper than trick-or-treater. And who knows what will happen when the PETA people see you can dress up like bacon and eggs. Oh the humanity.
Tail wagging the drunk
OK, somehow this happened:
A Wisconsin elementary school teacher who served as chaperone on a field trip to a bowling alley passed out because she was drunk.
Yes, it's a field trip to a bowling alley, to apparently observe the lifestyle of Uncle Buck and Homer J. Simpson.
And yes, she was blitzed - blowing a 0.27 on the day of the field trip in June 2013.
Of course, she collected $75,000 in lawsuit damages. Yes, she collected money. For being loaded - almost three times the legal limit - at an elementary school field trip.
Maria Caya claimed authorities should not have released her blood-alcohol levels. Heck, when can we the public sue yahoos like Mrs. Caya for being so cosmically stupid?
Saturday's stars
To all the high school football seniors who played their final football game on the final Friday night of the season, we say thanks.
Sure, looking back, there would be so much we'd all do differently, right? Maybe that's the gift that sports truly gives us. There is a finality. There is a score that tells us who won and who lost. We can see the mistakes and know what can be corrected. The gray areas of life are far more vague, and that ambiguity is at times a blanket of what if and of what could have been.
But for a lot of those seniors - and just as importantly for their families who have invested and embraced the lifestyle change that is competitive sports - Friday night was the finish line. Sure, the playoffs will potentially offer a few weeks reprieve for many, and a much smaller group may play at the next level.
But for a majority of the seniors who have spent the last decade sweating and bleeding and aching and achieving on the football fields around this area, this state and even this country, well, (pause) God bless you boys. God bless the effort and the enthusiasm and the effort. God bless the sacrifice and the success.
Enjoy the moment and the memories.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com and 423-757-6343.