Putin, Castro, et al are all multi-billionaires. North Korea's "Dear Leader," Kim Jong-Un, and his family are billionaires, too, while his people starve in obsequious servitude. Communism always works well for the ones in charge of it.
Communism and socialism tout their great achievements "for the people" — free health care, free education and equality. But their failures remain breakfast, lunch and supper.
Donald Trump tried diplomacy with North Korea early, agreeing to meet with leader Kim Jong-un "under the right circumstances." A Nobel Peace Prize-winning overture if you're a Democrat, but an "uninformed diplomatic blunder" if you're a Republican.
It's even said that Trump offered to fly Lil' Kim over to the U.S. for discussions, but it was a mixed message. It was on United Airlines.
To sum up, years of policy failures, looking the other way, and diplomatic back-door payoffs to North Korean regimes when they threaten us have kicked the can down the road and gotten us to this point. I like what Sen. Lindsey Graham said Sunday: "President Trump inherited a mess. All those 'smart people' who are criticizing his rhetoric and his policy, how well did you do?"
The result? North Korea is on the verge of getting a nuke that could hit California, and some say it could eventually reach some of our good states, the ones in the South.
The Washington Post reported recently that a long-range ICB missile fired by Kim Jong-un could make it to New York City in 37 minutes (assuming it doesn't have to go through TSA). That scared the East Coast liberal elites. A missile that can make it to New York City? New Yorkers know better than most: If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
But here is the good news: North Korea sucks at this. If you pay attention to news reports of Kim Jong-un's ICB missile program, the safest spot you can be is where North Korea is aiming its rockets.
All this began on the Fourth of July, when Kim oversaw the shooting of a rocket into the sea. Someone should tell him that he needs to be careful; that's a great way to lose a finger.
Under my doctrine, I would let him continue to experiment with explosives. With dolts like those who pin medals on each others' chests for feats less than a Cub Scout merit badge, we should let them continue to monkey with nuclear rockets, setting them off in a country the size of New Jersey. This crisis just might take care of itself.
Communist regimes can't figure out nuke-tipped jet propulsion rockets. They can't even figure out how to get toilet paper to their citizens. And the only cities they talk about attacking are L.A. and New York. Chicago is never mentioned. I don't think they would shoot a missile at Chicago for fear of all the return fire they'd incur.
So we find ourselves with two leaders, both men with questionable haircuts, in a war of words with international implications over issues which could probably be solved by them sharing a 2-for-1 haircut coupon at Great Clips.
Democrats believe only diplomacy remains our primary line of defense against North Korea. Their second line of defense is locking their doors and acting like they are not at home when the bad guys come by. Sadly, liberals' go-to defense, calling opponents "racist," will not work here.
Trump decided to dial up the rhetoric. He said he's "locked and loaded," which is twice as much as other presidents did. President Johnson was just loaded when he talked to North Korea.
I don't believe Lil' Kim will attack us. He has a sweet gig going. He's rich, snorts coke, has lots of adoring young women at his beck and call, and is a porn enthusiast. He loves cognac, NBA basketball and Viagra. The truth is he won't attack Los Angeles out of professional courtesy. He probably still thinks Dennis Rodman was Barack Obama. No doubt, Rodman left a diplomatic legacy on his trips to North Korea. That, and hepatitis.
At the end of the day, Kim Jung-un reasons that his only chance to beat Trump is probably shooting missiles, not a war of words. He'd best use missiles because he knows Trump would annihilate him in a Twitter fight.
Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or Twitter @RonaldHart.